Erederyn

I get this feeling, and I think it's a sentiment that some other aros can relate to. The lack of stability also scares me, and I do feel sad knowing that people I care about wouldn't be willing to prioritize me in the same way I do them. So you're definitely not alone in feeling this way. I also struggle with determining boundaries in friendships (is it okay if I cuddle them, is it okay to ask them for help with certain things...?). I have brought this up with close friends and they were pretty receptive to discussing the relationship, although all within the boundaries of typical friendship of course. it didn't solve all the problems of feeling less prioritized, but I at least feel more comfortable knowing where these boundaries lie, which can be freeing.

Hello, nice to meet you too! I totally agree with you that dragons are awesome, I'm a big fan.

That's great, I'm really happy for you! ?

Hello, welcome to the forum! Arocalypse has definitely been helpful to many in figuring their feelings and identities out, so I hope it helps you as well. I hope you enjoy being here and make some new friends.

Tumblr is not the best with formatting, so to help readability there is a Google Docs version because it is a long post: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1UOMW45tRRm8uCl-GHA5pfBzYTHp1sQ0D3hhsvYHXQwg/edit?usp=sharing

Hi all, I'm hosting the Carnival of Aros this month. The theme is intersectionality and inclusivity and focuses on marginalized aros. You can find more information here: https://graces-of-luck.tumblr.com/post/644436639587893250/carnival-of-aros-call-for-submissions-march-2021

I would tell myself that not wanting romantic relationships does not necessarily mean commitment/intimacy issues. Also that if something doesn't feel right (e.g., dating), that I shouldn't force myself to like it or do it just because it's something that ~general society~ deems necessary or in the hopes of "fixing" myself (as if romance were an acquired taste).

Hello! I'm sure it's been quite a ride learning of all this so recently. I think some others would share the sentiment of wishing they had known earlier- I suppose that's a downside of aromanticism/asexuality having less visibility. But that's been improving lately :) I hope you can feel welcome here and enjoy being part of the community!

Like many others, I love cats. I had a cat for 14 years, but she passed 3 years ago. I still miss her alot. When I'm in a more stable living situation, I want to get another cat. For now, I have some plants, which makes me happy as well. I made a terrarium a couple of weeks ago, it's like having a mini forest in a jar!

Welcome to the forum! I think many others might feel the same that aromanticism can be more confusing than asexuality (I mean, don't even get started with what is romance anyway?), so you're not alone in that. I hope you find what you're looking for here!

Hahaha, I understand that. I've become such a homebody, like my introvertedness has just increased. Looking back, I sometimes think how excessive it was that I was going out of the house every single daaay. I do still look forward to having more freedom again, but I'd be happy with not having to go out as much (especially in winter).

Sounds good! I could do the 7th at the usual time!

Was nice to meet again! For the next meeting, I was thinking we could perhaps discuss either aro activisim and community involvement/building or alloaro inclusivity/representation (for example, read something from Bones of Green and Hearts of Gold and/or some of AUREA's articles) or we can share and discuss our favorite works from AroWriMo and ASAW. Any of these sound good?

Yeah, unfortunately many things have been pushed aside. It's understandable that the pandemic is at the foreground now, but I think some governments might be using it as an excuse to ignore other things. Really is a shame. I definitely agree about appreciating nature more because of the lockdowns! I'm grateful more than ever to have a park within walking distance. I saw a rise in volunteering for the community gardens in my area, perhaps this is happening in other places. I'm sure the protests will start up again, sooner or later. People also have a lot of pent up energy (and anger, I'm sure), so maybe even more will be motivated to mobilize. That's a good point about appreciating the things we can't do now. I didn't really think about using that as a motivator in the future, but you're right. I think many others will also feel that way, really putting in the effort to connect and make time for others.

It usually starts the Sunday after Valentine's day, but seeing as Valentine's day is on a Sunday this year, ASAW starts on the 21st and goes to the 27th this year.

I get that, and I think that's also a valid way to look at it. I suppose I view it as more people becoming aware of the dire situation we were already in before the pandemic. Unfortunately, things like climate change and civil rights activism are viewed as "leftist hobbies" in many places. But there is more of a mainstream awakening to the fact that society is vulnerable and fragile. The faults and gaps in our societies have been laid bare now. For example, I work in mental health care, and I've been pushing my department to take structural factors into account, especially for those who have disadvantaged backgrounds. But it was always dismissed as "pff, we're psychologists/psychiatrists, we focus on the individual." Now the field of psychiatry/mental health has been shocked awake and realizing that they are useless when it comes to dealing with larger institutional/structural problems. I was frustrated at first that it took such a horrible event to push people, but I'm trying to take it a positive shift regardless. In a perfect world, there would already have been a mainstream movement towards sustainability and equity without needing such a catalyst. And I think the impact of the pandemic would have been mitigated if change was already the cultural hegemony. So I see it more as the push for sustainability and equity becoming more mainstream, even if it was there already. I'm with you there! I was really hesitant to get involved online before, at first I did it because I felt I didn't have much choice, but now I'm really happy I took that step. I've also saved much more money the past year, and while I was also pretty good at managing my finances before, it's definitely made me think much more about where my money was going. I hope you can keep up with both!

Yeah, I'm excited! I don't really know yet what I'll do, but I have lots of pretty papers, and I'm thinking of making some aro color journal dump collage thing. Maybe some writing as well, and generally reading/watching aro works. I also want to get some aro merch to support some aro-owned businesses! ? Would be cool to see any of your writing/your spoof picture for ASAW if you make it!

It’s wild that it’s almost a year since the pandemic started. I know many people are tired of talking about the pandemic, but I recently saw a survey in which they found that about 80% of respondents want significant change in a post-pandemic world and about two-thirds want their own lives to change too (https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2020/09/sustainable-equitable-change-post-coronavirus-survey/). I found this really interesting and uplifting and was curious if others here felt the same. What are some things you want to see change, whether on a large-scale level or on a personal level? What’s something that turned out to be a positive for you during the pandemic? (This is not to downplay the very real and terrible effects the pandemic has had on people’s lives). While the end is still months away, what are some things you’re looking forward to doing once we can return to a degree of “normalcy”? For me, I hope that people will have a greater sense of social responsibility. I also hope that there will be more investment in welfare, well-being, accessibility, and healthcare on a structural level. On a personal level, I want to be more conscientious of how I spend my time. Something that turned out to be a positive is being able to work from home, which has been so beneficial for me. I have more energy and more time. I usually struggle a lot with winter depression, but not having to go into work has helped enormously. When we are able to do more things, I’m really looking forward to going out on the town and dancing. I also really want to be able to hug my friends again. What about you all?

I have a close friend who is aroace, and she really wants to have kids, also via sperm donation. I personally don't want my own children, but I've thought about co-parenting. I really like the idea of trio parenting because it would allow me to be involved with parenting but would be potentially less demanding since more adults would be responsible for raising the child. Anyway, I also hope it works out for you and that you can realize your dream of becoming a parent!

I suppose it depends on how close you are with your friends and how much they know about aromanticism. You could for example warm them up by just talking about aromanticism, dropping hints. Or you could just plan a moment to just come out directly (with some of my friends, I did this with a fun powerpoint). Either way, I think it's good to have them read some basic resources on what aromanticism is. You could also explain that many aros have been romantic relationships before, either because they experience some romantic attraction, because they simply want to regardless of romantic attraction, or because they thought they had to be in romantic relationships (amatonormativity). Behavior =/= attraction and attraction =/= behavior, and sometimes it just takes time for people to figure themselves out! If you're willing to, it could help to explain your journey. People change and/or realize things about themselves as time goes on, and I think that this is something that people can understand. Your past doesn't invalidate your present. Explaining QPR is hard because not only can it differ per person but it's more abstract. It could help to send some resources, such as this infographic: https://shades-of-grayro.tumblr.com/post/190216590460/queerplatonic-relationships-an-introduction-image. It might take some time for your friends to wrap their heads around this, but if they are truly your friends, then they will accept it even if they don't fully understand it. But I get that it can be nerve-wracking. P.S. I'm glad to see that things ended up working out with Rainn!

Welcome! Figuring out identity can for sure be confusing, but I'm glad that you've found some clarity for now. I hope you both feel welcome and find what you need here

I haven't done much blogging myself, so I don't have much advice to offer, but I used to use Wordpress when I attempted to blog more regularly some years ago. I found quite good. I know that it generally is rather popular platform for blogging, and I've noticed many people use that for aro works. There is also Dreamwidth, which I've heard some good things about, but haven't had any experience with myself. Good luck, and I hope to see some of your content soon! :)

If you want to read about the process, TAAAP created a guide on how it works: https://taaap.org/2021/01/02/asaw-proclamation/!

Ah, that's rough. I also had an intense friendship with a squish and we became quite involved in each other's lives, but his romantic partnership ended up getting in the way. What helped me was focusing on my other relationships and other activities in my life as well as taking a step back from my squish and putting some distance to it. But just because it didn't go well for me doesn't mean it won't go well for you! Before you decide to take any action, it could be good to talk to your friend about this. If you just start to give her space without warning, she might also get confused. It could be that she is simply busy (every relationship has its phases of more intense and less intense contact), and she might also want to keep the intense friendship the way it is. Then it'd be good to talk about how to balance your friendship with her romantic partnership because there may be times in which this could conflict if she does indeed still want to keep a close friendship. Essentially, I recommend taking a moment to define the relationship so that neither of you get hurt and you know better what to expect. Nevertheless, it can be good to have variety in your life and not be so focused on one person. I also wouldn't say that jealousy is exclusive for crushes/romantic relationships. Like roboticanary mentioned, there is that difficulty of feeling lesser or feeling like you're being left behind. I think this can definitely lead to some feelings of jealousy.