El011

i think it makes more sense for everyone if aros and aces form a community separate from the lgbt community, but it annoys me so much how people who share that opinion feel the need to be assholes and assume negative, untrue things about us - esp aros who like sex/aren't ace - because they don't want to engage us in good faith and actually learn something. like since when do you HAVE to be in a romantic relationship with your sexual partner to treat them with respect and dignity and care about them as a person? if they said that about someone non-aro it would immediately be recognized as slut shaming, because obviously not all sex (fwb, hookups, orgies, swinger's parties, sex clubs, one night stands, hiring a sex worker) comes with an expectation of romantic commitment and as long as you are open about it and as long as everyone's clear on that it's totally fine. but apparently it's just SO much worse somehow if you don't feel romantic attraction. even though, imo, if you ARE openly aro and prefer noncommitted sex, it's actually morally better because you're being more open about your boundaries, needs, and desires and making sure everyone involved feels respected and cared for whereas non-aros who have noncommitted sex aren't communicating their needs on that same level.