Status Updates posted by Atlamillia Pixie
Okay, Rant time
So, I saw my ex in person for the first time since we broke up more than a year ago. While we Dmed each other and participated in the same group group chats, got on group calls together, and participated in the same Dnd group in the mean time, this was the first time we talked face to face since the pandemic started. The reason we got together was to take graduation pictures with the rest of our friends. This gave us the opportunity to talk about the break up and the fallout that followed.
We both left that conversation feeling so much better! Minus my aromantism (because that was absolutely a factor in why we broke up), we both talked through why we didn't work as a couple and why we chose to broke as well as how we handled each other after the break up. Amatonormativity screwed us both up HARD and he is alloromantic (which just goes to show that it hurts everyone, not just aros). He told me that never loved me romantically, he though he did because we were together as long as we were. I am so relived that I never broke is heart.
The both of us left that conversation being closer friends than when we started it and I'm glad we had it. I'm glad to have my friend back.
Today is the one year anniversary of figuring out I am Aromantic. Huzzah! 💚🤍🖤
I didn't think that I would be spending me first year as realizing I'm aro and being proud of it would be spent at home or mostly confined to my college dorm room ... but uh, 2020 was built different to say the least.
I am happy to be more in touch with myself and to know that I am not broken. I don't have trust issues for no reason. I don't have intimacy issues for no reason. I am not unfeeling for no reason. I am just Aromantic. I don't do the romance thing. There is no reason for it. Its just the way I am.
While I figured out the Aro thing, the thing I'm questioning is whether I am lithromantic/akoi(ne)romantic or if it was internalized amatonormativity (f*ck me, right?) at odds with my aversion to romance. And being home during a pandemic has not helped me figure that out. So, I'll figure that out once I can go outside and interact with people with out fear of catching a deadly virus or spreading it to my family. For now, I just vibe with my friends online and keeping finding more aro content online.