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About Korbin

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  • Birthday 06/24/2000

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  1. I don't know exactly where to start this so I'll just go. I believe I'm experiencing internalized biphobia due to a history of being slut shamed regardless of my lack of sexual activity. That was an idea a friend in a server had and I guess I wanted to share and vent my frustrations a little. My mother has been known to sex shame, I remember this once being directed at me when I was 14- telling me I looked like a sex worker (this is in kinder words than what she really said) in a costume I was wearing. Specifically it was about the thigh high socks with the colorful lacing on them, which covered more than they showed. I was a budding goth tween, and wanted to look like my goth teenage sibling. My sibling dressed like that and seemed to have fun, so why should I have expected her to say that? I thought it was cute, and it was, because I was a kid. Developing body aside, I really was a kid and I have no idea where she got it in her to say something like that. Along with that, while I don't think this part was implicit, she refused to let me shave. These things together caused me to cover up to avoid the bullying from home and school alike. I did this for years and only recently at age 19 have I come out of this self imposed shell. Recently she asked me what aromantic meant. She is demisexual, and in her own words also sapiosexual (I could go on for a day and a half about how much I hate this word, but lets not open that can of worms tonight). So when she asked, I had first assumed it was in good faith. What instead happened was she scoffed at my explanation and then asked if that meant all aromantic were sluts, then. My pain at hearing that aside, in this conversation she'd learned I was aro. She didn't choose to retract this statement, she didn't choose to simply not say that. Once I had a friend pressuring me to date and hook up with him. Long story short, we met up at his place under false pretenses and he continued to pressure me. I argued with him, at which point his mother came home. I went to leave, and she began yelling as soon as she saw me, blaming me for being there and calling me a harlot. Which.. another painful experience even if the use of harlot made me laugh a little. I'm sure that my experiences overhearing slut shaming did not help either. I used to think I was aroace. and I felt like I was broken. But even then, at least I wasn't filthy, right? And then I started actually growing into my own sexuality without being informed by what others wanted for me and that fell apart real fast. Now I feel wrong telling my sibling that I was wrong about my being aroace. I feel dirty. I feel like my bisexuality proves these people right. Especially given the fact that I fit the stereotype of bisexuality just being aro, not making romantic connections. Sometimes I really want to stop using the sam model and just be aro to avoid this.
  2. banned for the adorable good turtle
  3. 1) I'd like to see a human aro. Like nonmerci said, mental conditions and stuff are fine as long as those things aren't linked. 2) Nope, never seen something fit this very, very small criteria. Literally all you would have to do is write your run of the mill protagonist and make them aro. Doesn't even need to be a main one.
  4. Honestly, sometimes I feel like my lack of romantic attraction has exacerbated and fed into my mental health problems. Especially when it comes to feeling not good enough or unwanted and unworthy. And being rejected by friends can be just as painful, and sometimes it can feel even worse when you don't have the safety net of a romantic relationship. You begin to feel like all your friends will leave you for singular partners and that you'll be alone- and friends actually leaving each other behind because a partner told them to does not help this line of thought. Societal expectations of love are designed for a nuclear family set up, which is a reason why being aro can be so scary. When I first realized I was, I was terrified.
  5. I'm not sure how to articulate this but something about how this is worded is getting to me. I haven't been able to 100% follow this thread, and even if I did, it's quite a bit to read through. From what I understand, this whole thread is meant to be about how qpr misinformation is not an appropriate vehicle for aro community building. Accusations of people doing this on purpose aside, has that goal not been met? Have we not been informed of the problem? Yeah. There seems to be a bunch of miscommunication here.
  6. I had no idea about this as I had been avoiding the aro and ace sides of tumblr alike for a long while due to my own issues. I only just now about a year ago bring myself to identify as aro again myself due to violent exclusionist rhetoric. The one post I did see about it recently was this post here: I had no idea it was this bad and I am sorry.
  7. I'll be sure to check this out!!!!!!
  8. It was gently reminding the op that aromantic and asexual were not the same thing, as did others. On my part at least. I will admit that the op who posted the screenshots of what I responded to sometime ago was an asshole about it. I don't think it is. I don't really participate in discourse all that much, and it wasn't a post that had been widely reblogged yet. It just showed up on my dash and both the op who took the screenshot and the person who responded were jerks. In fact, I believe this was the post. Good to know they miss tagged it.
  9. I'm going to preface this by saying I'm overwhelmed. Not just by the thread but by real life circumstances. So I'm really sorry if I come off as incoherent. But on the topic of tag policing... Can we please cut it out with the narrative that people asking for tags to be kept on topic is 'policing' in the same way that telling someone they aren't x is policing? I'm too tired to bring up specific posts and I don't really want to make it the bloggers problem but... The problem isn't even that ace or aspec alone in a post in non aro inclusive, it's that for a community with a history of getting covered up or equated to another, I wish people would be more careful about how they handle that. There would be no problem if most people didn't equate aromanticism to asexuality. But I can confirm that anyone I've ever met and came out to had assumed I was ace- and or asserted I was ace after I corrected them. Tag policing isn't about trying to put down aroaces for feeling a connection with their asexuality but pointing out that something is perpetuating a common myth. This is not a case where we're trying to antagonize aces at all. I'm sorry if this is a little off topic but I couldn't help but see someone bring it up. Especially because I'd seen this passed around by ace blogs I follow and I wanted to try clearing that up. It's not because we hate aroaces or anything like that. Edit: I understand that we share a history and community. Hell, as far as many people are concerned aromantic may as well mean the same thing as ace. What I'm getting at is that this is making it difficult for aros to try making aro specific spaces for the aros that do see a distinction. And saying this very concept alienates aroaces is unhelpful. Further edit: the person I vaguely mention isn't even at fault in any way. No one really is. It's just the issue of the matter is the misconceptions commonly spread, which is why people do point out when posts that come off as off topic posts are in the aro tags. I could explain further but this is already getting long enough for someone who can't stop making typos.
  10. I am using all of these and he will know no end.
  11. Please someone stop me I am spiralling out of control.
  12. I change my mind. This is the only response that matters.
  13. I had a few squishes like that, initially starting out as intense until I became their friend and I could ignore the feelings if I wanted. What you're describing sounds like a squish. In my experience at least.
  14. your reply is the only one that will ever matter. Edit: in all seriousness someone give me a suggestion before my high on caffeine ass goes and coins a term.
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