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Blake

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Everything posted by Blake

  1. https://www.etsy.com/listing/520668756/3-4-6-8-or-10mm-white-ceramic-wedding?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=white+ring&ref=sr_gallery-1-2&pro=1 https://www.amazon.com/THREE-KEYS-JEWELRY-Engagement-10-5/dp/B07MTCPM1X/ref=sr_1_15?dchild=1&keywords=arrow+ring&qid=1589237948&s=apparel&sr=1-15 Both links are the most safe for me. Amazon always send my purchases on time and I haven't had any problem with it. Etsy is another option too, I like more etsy cuz it usually is made by hand and I feel I am contributing more to smaller organizations (Amazon is big).
  2. For me, there is no line, because having a line would mean that I would have to define both side of the lines and that definition cannot be changed arbitrarily. From platonic to romantic is what you as an independent person think it fulfills that definition. It is what you want it to be, you can say that cuddles and kissing is romantic and hand holding is platonic, but that would change from person to person. At the core of what you are asking is to categorize an action, and an action is just what you want it to be. I am with you that emotions behind actions is what makes them what they are. From my experiences, people misjudge me and do not know the reasoning behind my actions because I do not follow what most people think is the norm.
  3. I don't think you have commitment issues, also "the right one" can be fulfilled by more than one person, I don't believe that of the billions of people that there is, just one is "the right one". It is more possible that there are many "right ones" and you stumble upon one of those, or even several. Now, as they said above, maybe you can be lithromantic, frayromantic or you can be aromantic. But only you will know that, only you can put the label upon yourself. From what you wrote, I can partially identify. That feeling of being restrained, suffocating inside a relationship and putting up an "excuse" of my behavior. If you feel restrained, then do not be inside that relationship, that much I can say, because you will eventually be miserable. One thing you can do is, tell the other person how you feel when they text you. Try to find a comfortable place but together. Set rules and boundaries, and discuss them with the other person. If one rule doesn't work, change it. Be dynamic, a relationship can as fluid as you like to. Respect each boundary, each step is one closer to knowing what you want and what you don't want. Hope it helps you.
  4. Awww true true. Didn't see it and missed it so hard.
  5. Thanks. It's from pinterest. I love black coffee and wolves.
  6. Hey! You are a Hexa A!!! (If you like that, I made it up now :3) That is so awesome. I am glad you discovered things about yourself. I too, like chocolate and to play games, FF franchise, Last of Us, Elder Scroll, Fallout. I tried to bake cookies once, but the cookies I made where salty af (bad at measurements). Anyways, welcome ^^
  7. The only person who can answer what you are is yourself. You have a base, you know what you like and the reasons. The next step, like @Kadence said, is to search for that awesome label that makes you spark inside. You can be in the grey area, you can incline for one side or the other one, or both. But I cannot tell you what and who you are. My advice is to read, and to let you know that a label can be changed and that doesn't makes you less valid. Cheers mate
  8. Welcome, hope you feel at home with this community. Sorry for the fall out of your friend, and everyone here has to be awkward, it is the only requirement ^^. Edit: Ps. Luv your profile pic
  9. Romance repulsed. I do not like it when it is directed at me, it makes me feel trapped since I cannot reciprocate it. The only way I would accept a romantic gesture (kissing, hold hands) is if the other person knows I will feel nothing doing it and is completely ok with it. But only my best friend has earned my trust in believing they words. Also, I cuddle with any living being (dog, cats, snakes, people) and I see it as something completely normal and no romance involved. It is the only activity that isn't romance coded for me, cuz hey we sharing heat, that means we won't freeze to death, yay.
  10. Welcome mate. Hope you feel at home here, if you ever wanna talk about anything: science, art, games, life, black holes. then you can dm me ^^
  11. Ok, you can do the long road or the short road. Long road: "Hey, thanks for inviting me to the movies. But I want to leave something clear, this is not a date. I think of you only as a friend and that will not change. Hope you can accept my decision." or the short road: "Hey, I am not interested in a relationship. This is just two friends going out." Now IF he doesn't accept your decision, then he is jerk and you should reevaluate your friendship with him. Friends respect boundaries. Family respect each other. Cheers and good luck mate.
  12. Yeah, he's so badass, a jerk 98% times but badass nevertheless, and an example for vamps, witches and werewolves.
  13. I feel you 100%. If I where out, I would post it on my fb, just cuz that way I would get a chance to meet peep who actually got it. Buuut then I would be out to all my fam as well, which is not exactly what I want. (So awesome tho)
  14. Hello there mate, glad you discovered it. Now you know something more about yourself. Now, hopefully in this website you will find information and a community to help you continue discovering things about yourself. It's ok to identify as aro-spec, any doubt that you have, we are here to help.
  15. It is nowhere near The Originals for me. But i liked it because it continues the story and the characters are mostly teenagers. The twins are there and also Hope Mikaelson, the daugther of my fav character
  16. This is the most wholesome thing I have ever seen. I am going to use it in the future because it is both informative and everyone is crystal clear.
  17. My ideal "date" would be to go hiking a weekend with camping and everything and then when we back home, some netflix to chill. My realistic "date" would be to go for key lime pie and coffee ice cream as topping while watching netflix ^^ in home. Cuddles are allowed, food sharing is a big no. I would buy two whole separate key lime pies and a 2 pints of coffee ice cream cuz food sharing is not in me. :3
  18. I feel you wholeheartedly, it is so hard to find a movie or a series that has a plot that doesn't involve romance. But whaat is more important is that the female representation is media is very very poor. Not only is their role around in a love story, the people only concentrate in the love story, and leave the plot and everything else in the shadows. I mean, there is so many materials to do. Not everything has to revolve around two people meeting and "falling" for each other. You can know someone without having sex with that person, or you can help someone to study without having to be sexual tension in the air. What's worse, when they use love as an excuse for a crime of passion, or as a motive to commit a crime. Is there no other way to develop a story? Ps. I, too am disheartened and bothered by media (movies, series, heck even tv news) and the course it takes sometimes. I can count with one hand, the number of movies that don't use romance as follow up, or the second season of series that develop romance as motives. (Tremors movies is an example of something i like. Romance isnt a strong motive there.) Now on the topic of the thread, my pansexual identity only meets my aromantic one in very few instances. I see them as separate because I am pansexual, but that does not erase that I am aromantic too. I can meet any person, and the first thing I do is to know if they like coffee or not. I don't see their identity nor sexuality as a factor of anything. I only want what's not to see with the eye, their ideals, their aspirations, how they drink tea or coffee, do they use straws?, are they comfy with me or do they want space?. Those things I care about more than anything, because I want to see more than an average person, what should be really important, and that doesn't relate with if I would sleep with the person or not, yes that would be an option, but it is not the only thing that I care about. Soul before bed, if at all cuz I certainly not actively looking for sex, only a deeper relationship that leads me to getting to know someone more than the rest of the world, and that relationship does not have to involve romance. Enjoying a walk with someone doesn't mean I have to sleep with that person, heck my dog sleep with me, and do people ask me: hey, do you have sex with your dog? No. they say: omg so cute! mine sleeps with me too!. (bit of rant but yeah) Tldr: sexual identity doesn't relate with romantic identity, only small overlaps. and dogs are cute :3
  19. Yes. Both spin-off. The originals and Legacies. I like more the originals tho.
  20. 1. I went through a period that I didn't know if I was pan or bi, since I questioned if I would really go out with anyone I met. Then, a couple of years later, I knew I was 100% pan, since I could picture myself with basically anyone, tho I had a preference so I knew I wasn't omnisexual. 2. I do not really think my sexual orientation plays a role in my romantic orientation. I see myself as pansexual and aromantic, both are separate. I see my sexuality as if I would sleep with someone (in this case with anyone regardless of sex or gender identity) and my romantic orientation as how I feel doing romance coded activities (in this case I don't feel butterflies, nor any arousal or need to do romantic things). 3. Both are different identities of myself, they overlap very little, and I feel that I can use them as separate terms and still convey my wholeness to some extent.
  21. Hello to you too anon, ok this is from my own personal experience and I think it will help you. First of all, antidepressants can affect your sexual experience and libido in really big way. I know this because I have been on some myself and the ride is not pleasant. Bit of science class: If you are on SSRI, what it's doing is blocking your serotonin receptors in your brain so the molecule can continue along your blood and have more serotonin around. Now this is good for you, but also bad for your sexual drive because now the body will need a lot of stimulation to get aroused, if you even can in some cases. This is because the antidepressant "numbs" you, what is happening is that the signal from a stimulation gets sluggish, and since you need a lot of stimulation to get aroused, it gets harder to achieve. Another thing: Loss of appetite is another side effect from antidepressants, (and weight gain too it annoying). I understand your struggle of wanting to feel something, desiring something that you cannot attain. Its really frustrating because you want to be "normal". What's more, since you are "forcing" yourself to feel something it leads to stress, which your body rejects and you become more stressed with yourself. ^ Obsessive thoughts here too. Thinking in someone constantly is something we can do with or without having a obsessive personality or disorder. What is important here is the manner of it, since I can be thinking in my best friend obsessively but that doesn't mean I want something from they, just that I am thinking of something specific from they, maybe I want to snuggle, or maybe a test is coming and I know they are bad at that subject and I can't stop wondering how they are doing. Now, the butterfly in the stomach is a sign of more than affection (so they say sorry i don't feel this). ^ Ok, now for the finale, you are not rambling ^^. It is enterily fair what you are feeling, that frustration. I understand that you want to fall in love, but there are so much kinds of love, it doesn't have to be romantic, or sexual. It can be platonic, aesthetic, emotional. You can fall in love with the personality of that person, with who they are, it doesn't have to be with their genitalia. Speaking from a pansexual point of view, when I meet someone, I pay attention to every single thing they say and do. And I choose them based on how they present themselves, if I like it then I talk to them or do anyhting else, and if I do not like it I continue on. This is without taking how they look, their birth sex, etc, just how they speak. You voice what you want, or what you want to be, or what youu are insecure and compensate in some way (at least that's what I think). You can stay here with us, or you can stay and love your pets! pets give you unconditional love, ^^ when humans fail, choose a pet. Hope this helps.
  22. They are! ball pythons are very docile, and you can play lots with them. Sadly, like yourself I don't have one currently because of my schedule. Before this pandemic happened I was at home only to sleep and cook. And I believe that a pet deserves time and dedication, which I could not give.
  23. Kingsnakes are indeed royal. But like reticulated pythons, and all other aggressive snakes, they should be treated with respect and lot and lots of patience. The coloration i so damn beautiful :3
  24. No to both. I consider marriage a social construct, one that is kinda binding and suffocating for me. I can live with someone and be happy together without having to marry that person. Kinda roommates situation. I see kids and is hella cool...but away from me. I consider myself the rich single uncle if I would be ever in that situation, never will I ever have biological children. The only exception to the rule is if I served as a foster home, but not a permanent one, just till they can rise their wings and fly on their own. Living alone is great for me, since i try to be as independent as possible.
  25. I love the ice cream one. But for me the food that screams aro for me is a key lime pie. It has both green, and sometimes white. Also that food tastes like life for me.
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