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Blake

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Everything posted by Blake

  1. Honestly, I think that putting an A for allies is not a good idea. This is because you can support a cause and not be in the frontlines. There is no need, and this is my opinion, in including allies in a marginalized group. We are a minority for good or bad. We deserve our own space, free to be ourselves. The allies do not have to suffer the consequences or being judged for being something that is not cis het. They have literally almost every space in the world, and then, in the small space that we are forming to meet each other and be happy, they want to be too? Sorry but that is kinda egocentric. I see it like we are building a sand castle just in one part of the beach, we are happy building it because they do not let us play outside that space, and then comes this persons, who can play anywhere else, have a yacht and all, and then they want to go and go play inside our castle. Dude, that castle has been built in blood, and you haven't spilled any for this castle, so sorry but I don't think you can just enter. From what I understand, allies invited themselves, not the other way around. That is my opinion, I am fine that they want to help, but just respect our space, you have everything else, let me have this tiny but comfy space.
  2. Hello there mate! Glad that you discovered your orientations, and that you are here too. What shows do you like? Mine are supernatural/The Good Place/Sense 8. and I kinda try to look past the romance and focus in the plot. If the plot is good, im fine watching people smooch, otherwise I think it's irrelevant.
  3. Yes, the vocab is quite extensive, buuuuut it is not you have to learn it all. Just step by step, and if you forget it is fine, jus look it up again and thats it, sooner or later it will stick ^^. At least that is what I do, cuz mate, it can really be overwhelming for anyone.
  4. Welcome there mate! Really glad that you found this and made you feel better. Cheers and here have this ice cream (Insert tasty image of an ice cream)
  5. For me, I know that I am missing out on certain activities and things, but that doesn't mean that it is bad or that I want to do those activities. That your friend tells you how amazing is a pie doesn't mean that you will like it the same way, or that you would even like it. Or that you love skating doesn't mean that the next person will enjoy it. Curiosity is normal, nothing wrong with that, but don't let people pressure you into something you don't want to do just because they are doing it. Now if it is just certain things, you could talk and put the rules of the relationship. i.e. not hand holding; long kisses, etc. You don't have to accept all the package of a relationship, just the bit and pieces that you want ^^ What is important is that there is communication between you and that other person(s).
  6. I understand that you wouldn't mind being treated as another resource, but yo have to think of the other person. It is fine to see each other as tools, but you both have to agree to it, there has to be communication and understanding. Now, in any exchange, from most basic to complex, one party loses more than the other, and that means that the opposite is also true. It is extremely unlikely that there is an absolute equal exchange. What is important is the way you are looking at it, you are deciding for the other person the amount of "worth" that is keeping you around. That is up to the other person to decide, to weight how much is he gain of keeping you around. In the case that the other person decides that they are gaining more than you, would that make you happy or not? Since they are gaining more than you, but that also means that your "worth" is more than you thought it was. Allow me to explain the example better, it is not about the object, but of the intention. You have an item and your friend another, both of you play with the item but in order, first yours then your friend. This means that when you finish with the first, you would go for the second item, but then you do not want to finish playing with the first item. Meaning that you refuse to play with the second item because you do not want to, although it was previously decided that you would play with A, then B. Analyze it from both point of view. From the kid who wants to continue playing and from the kid that suddenly got told that the rules where change. How would you feel being kid A, and how would you feel being kid B. For the last, it is about free will. You have free will, I have free will, each person has free will. You cannot decide for the other person, and also people change opinions all the time. So if I like tacos today, it doesn't mean that I will like tacos every single day after that, I may get tired of tacos, I may not, but that decision is up to me and only time will tell. There has to be an ability to feel completely fine in saying: "Ok, this was fun, but now I want to change/leave" If you do not have that freedom, then the relationship is not a healthy one and should be terminated.
  7. Conservation Ecologist in Endangered Species. Aiming for that cuz I love animals more than people.
  8. The authors should do what they believe is right, independent of what fans make into fanfic. But they should stand by what they want to make and not try to bait people into believing something that is just not right. The fear of losing ratings and viewers is a poor excuse, because if you lose some you can gain others, it is not complete lose. What I want is to tell me straight up: hey this character is X. That should not be so hard. A label helps people feel identified, it gives them validity in a society that actively tries to dictate and choose for us. I did not like labels until I saw the importance of them, so authors should be able to understand something that basic.
  9. I remember rather vividly mine. It was night, and we just finished eating at a restaurant. I knew that they would go for the kiss way before it happened cuz all the romo movies I saw and knowing they where a romantic person, so I had a bit of a window to prepare myself. Now, this has been my only relationship and I still did not know about aromanticism so I was super super curious of how it would feel and would play out. It was a quick peck, it was my very first kiss and I felt nothing special. No butterflies, no high, nothing, it was just a quick exchange of saliva. To not make feel bad the other person I faked a performance and told they that it was special and I had liked it. Truth be told, I did not dislike it, but neither did I like it, it was just another activity, like writing or reading. Looking back at it, that event should have been a clear sign that romance wasn't for me. But the problem is that I wanted it to work so bad, because it was my first relationship and it was supposed to be something special (yeah not my greatest moment nor the most rational one but I wanted to feel normal for once in my life).
  10. Hello there mate! now on to your dilemma. From what you described you may be lithromantic. here, since from what people have described in this forum, you like/love romance in theory, but once a relationship is initiated you suddenly lose interest. I may be wrong and if so, anyone may correct me. And no, you aren't being irrational, you just are what you are, nothing more, nothing less.
  11. I can recommend you Tower of God. My fave webtoon. It has some amount of romance between the main character and someone else but it not a romantic lovely doey, it is more platonic (for me it is platonic). Also action and fantasy are what drive the plot, not romance. Also, not spoiling a lot of the plot, but the main character isn't dumb and knows that his feelings aren't reciprocated so there is hope for the main character.
  12. Ok, hello there mate, that is the first thing. So...let me see if I can explain to you the reasoning behind the actions of those who reject you or see you as evil. You have to know that we are humans, and we are different from one another. Would you like someone to treat you the same way you treat that someone? You are seeing a person (and please do not get me wrong, I mean no disrespect, I am only trying to see your point of view) as an object. You are comparing a person and their affection to you one way, that you are the one getting that rush, that spotlight. And this is not something evil, it is what it is, but an interaction should be two-way, that if you are getting something, you are giving something in return. So it is not wrong to ask for things, but you have to be disposed to give something too, and that something is what you are describing as your available time, or that inconvenience time. Think it like this: "You are gifted two wooden swords and your friend two beyblade. Both of you are ecstatic with your respective gifts and want to play. They start with your gift and you play all day. But at the moment of going to their gift, you don't want to change. Yo want to continue playing with yours eternally, now how would your friend feel? They spent their time to make you happy, but it is not going the other way. How would you feel if that where you, the friend with the beyblade and not the wooden swords, that you gave your time but now it is not going the other way around. Of course it feels good, but it is because the satisfaction is just yours, the other person is not gaining anything. That other person is probably hurt because they too want something in return. And if someone hurted you, you would at the very least put some distance from that person, to heal yourself. And if the behavior doesn't change, why would you stay with someone that is actively making you sad? Is it evil? Not really, evil is just a word used to describe that you want to purposely hurt that person. I do not think that is the case, although that does not mean that you are not hurting. If you want people to not avoid you, you have to put your grain of salt too, have an equal exchange. Talk with that other person and try to go for a happy medium, it doesn't have to be perfect, but both parties should agree on the rules of the game to be fair. I hope this could help you mate. Cheers
  13. If you need more info, you can search at the top of the page Aromanticism FAQ (AUREA), there there is load and loads of info. (I use it to help friends with the terms and so they can look for info)
  14. Easy (yay I can answer this). People around the world did not meet one another rather frequently, so the way that a mythos was transmitted was vocally, from person to person. This was before Homer made his works, and after too, because if I write a book, only those that are nearby will know about it, not the entire world. So, if I see the stars, I will come up with a way to explain it based on my religion. But that doesn't mean that another one will try the same. At the end of the day you hear what is more prevalent, (Homer/Hesiod/ etc), and it wasn't until Herodotus started the idea of preserving the story in literal stone, that history started being kept. Herodotus traveled what he thought was the world recording oral history, that was the beginning of the preservation of history. But before that the recording of history came to be, everyone had their own theory of things, thus when recorded, there where many versions of it. playwrights like Arisophanes also contributed to the mythos, since they gave their own versions of mythology. :3 Hope it could help you.
  15. My romantic identity is known to a selected few of my friends. This is because it is mine and it doesnt affects them in anything since I won't date them, so it is just useless info for them that I just don't like them to have if is not absolutely neccessary. I am very reserved with what I share about me because that is information that I no longer have control of how it would spread. My sexual identity, I am more liberal, since I can explain it and not have them think that I want to be a special snowflake. People believe more in sexual attraction than in any other type of attraction. I don't plan to come out since I don't believe I have to do it. I can explain what is aromantism without telling that I identify as one. Now, if I trust the person, I may tell them I identify as aromantic, otherwise is a big no. My reason is cuz bigotry and trying to invalidate my identity is not something I take lightly, so to avoid conflict I prefer to keep silent. My fam is part of why I am reserved, cuz they don't believe what I tell them, so I won't waste my saliva in that. "There is no one blinder than the one that doesn't want to see"
  16. First things first. That poem was amazing. Creativity is inside every one of us, that we take it for a ride often, that is another matter. Thanks for sharing it here, I certainly don't feel comfy sharing my poems to everyone. So yeah, to be your first poem you poured feelings and your worries in it, which gives it a sense of warmth for those who can sympathize with it. ^^
  17. Hey there. Well from what I know, as long as there is respect between each other your good. A label is judt as good as the message behind it and the intention. If you do not harbor ill intentions then you good. Any questions just write em up, :3 we here to help and eat ice cream.
  18. Tbh that is one side of the story i haven't read. It may be possible, but the understanding I have is that the relationship between him and Artemis wasn't of directly going on hunts, it was more of goddess and prayer. Orion, on the other hand, was acknowledged by Artemis personally as a hunter because she saw that Orion hunted and respected the kill. The beautiful thing I love of mythology is all the conflicting stories using the same characters. Cuz another sotry of Orion was that he was a perv and chased girls like a hunt, and in one of those chasings, the girls prayed to Zeus to let them escape him and Zeus transformed them into stars. BUT after Orion died, Zeus transformed Orion in a star too so he could continue the chase. Mythology is a world in itself.
  19. I do not and will not have children. I have a brother and he doesn't want to have children also. We both know what we don't want: kids. Me, not from any kind; my brother still is debating if adopting or not. Both of my parents know of my choice, my father is not ok with it but I told him he can always have more kids if he wants grandkids. I had a bit of a genetic guilt at first, but at the end of the day it is my choice. No one is paying me, nor will raise a kid that I have, that would correspond me, so the choice is entirely up to me. Tbh, there are other factors that influence my choice, like the state of the economy, the future of the planet, etc. I do not want my kid to suffer like I have suffered, simple as that, and the best way of guaranteeing that I do not traumatize by accident my kid is to simply not have it. Family is the ties that you make, not the ones that where imposed. So in theory, you could adopt a kid that is 8+ and give it your last name, who would challenge you? By all legal means it is your kid so there is no room for debate.
  20. It can certainly be. Fear of the unknown is common for most people (that is why on core people fear death, since you don't know what happens after). Having an anxious feeling is completely normal, more so if you haven't been in a relationship before, since you do not know what to expect or what is expected of you. From my experience, own the fear, if you have curiosity along with that fear, then exploring it can be an option, otherwise you don't know if it is for you or not. Of course, do it with someone you 1000% trust, because exposing yourself the first time can be overwhelming. You can be romance repulsed, or touch averse, but that is up to you to decide. I know I am somewhat romance repulsed to certain activities, like hand holding, but it is because I feel nothing of it and the expectation of my partner of that activity is what makes me uncomfortable, not the activity itself, if my partner has cristal clear that when doing that activity I would only do it to make they comfy then I am ok with it, otherwise it brings anxiety.
  21. Heyo there mate. Welcome welcome ^^ You are accepted in this forum (anyone who says nay fite me). Really glad that you found your orientantion, and even if it does change in the future, what matters is that you are identifying with those labels now. Family acceptance is super great (mine doesn't know) and glad you have the amount of confidence in sharing it with your fam, mine is kinda close minded so I'm just taking my time. So again, Hi!, couldn't save you since I was inactive this last few weeks cuz loads of work from university (sorry!)
  22. An early sign that I was aro was when I started my relationship and couldn't understand what was the big issues with long kisses, it was just an extended exchange of saliva, and after 2 seconds it was enough for me. Also, I couldn't see why people had to start making out if you where watching a movie, gosh you.are.seeing.a.movie. Let me see the movie in peace, I missed that awesome action part cuz you where kissing me. Relationship didn't last long, but it did helped me discover my aromanticism. (Still salty about missing that action part, I had to search the movie in netflix to see it again but alone)
  23. Sameeeee, my background is literally balls with the aro flag colors. Family wise, not a single one has any idea that I am aro. Friend wise, they deduced it once I told them that I was aro, cuz they know I am sneaky showing things. I am amazed that so very people actually suspect about pride colors, given that it is not thaaaat hard to look into the internet. Maybe it is because they go nop-nop and actively choose to ignore it.
  24. I would love nothing more than dress up as a Hunter of Artemis. HOWEVER, canonically as someone who has studied greek mythology, I know that it would not be entirely accurate, cuz there has only been 1 male Hunter of Artemis (Orion). Also the vow of maidenhood (I won't enter in patriarchal issues for the sake of not writing a monograph) is an important point to be considered. The group was made specifically so women could 1. be protected against horny Zeus, 2. Be free of men' grasps. To include men inside the group would mean that the women would once again be "hunted" and have to form relationship with men. Thing that goes directly against what Artemis wanted when she formed the group, the goal was to free women and have a men-free area. I know that everyone here is a sweet hunny bun, but i just can't go against the core value of that selected group, it would defeat the purpose of having created the group. :3 sorry if it bursts dreams from someone but I want to conserve a special place, even if it means I can't be part of it.
  25. First of all, yes and props to you for doing what most people do not do, search information and learn more about something you do not quite understand or grasp. Now, as @arokaladin and @Jot-Aro Kujo told, you have to ask yourself why qp isn't enough for you. What do you mean by that?, is it that you do not like the definition or something else. A definition is just as good as what you want it to be, it is made so people have a north into exploring, and people can come together by that definition. If you don't feel it applies to you, then the first thing to ask is why, then continue on exploring. Communication is key, that you feel the same with her than with other romantic relationship doesn't mean that it is the same for her. Idk about how much both of you have spoken or the subjects, so I am speaking from personal experience. I was in a relationship that my partner thought it was romantic, by society it was categorized by romantic, but to me, I did not once felt it was that. This was a time that I didn't identified as aro cuz I didn't know about the word, but that lack of mutual understanding led to a breakup. If for you qp isn't enough, and for her girlfriend makes her uncomfy, then look for that medium, but do so together. Make her feel that you care about her and her orientation, that may be small for some people, but for me if someone I share that I am aro, and the next time we talk, they look info and try to understand me, you can bet your sweet bottom that I will feel super super happy and instantly be friends. Cuz I would feel valid, thing that society tries to deny me.
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