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Blake

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Everything posted by Blake

  1. Hello there mate, glad you discovered it. Now you know something more about yourself. Now, hopefully in this website you will find information and a community to help you continue discovering things about yourself. It's ok to identify as aro-spec, any doubt that you have, we are here to help.
  2. It is nowhere near The Originals for me. But i liked it because it continues the story and the characters are mostly teenagers. The twins are there and also Hope Mikaelson, the daugther of my fav character
  3. This is the most wholesome thing I have ever seen. I am going to use it in the future because it is both informative and everyone is crystal clear.
  4. My ideal "date" would be to go hiking a weekend with camping and everything and then when we back home, some netflix to chill. My realistic "date" would be to go for key lime pie and coffee ice cream as topping while watching netflix ^^ in home. Cuddles are allowed, food sharing is a big no. I would buy two whole separate key lime pies and a 2 pints of coffee ice cream cuz food sharing is not in me. :3
  5. I feel you wholeheartedly, it is so hard to find a movie or a series that has a plot that doesn't involve romance. But whaat is more important is that the female representation is media is very very poor. Not only is their role around in a love story, the people only concentrate in the love story, and leave the plot and everything else in the shadows. I mean, there is so many materials to do. Not everything has to revolve around two people meeting and "falling" for each other. You can know someone without having sex with that person, or you can help someone to study without having to be sexual tension in the air. What's worse, when they use love as an excuse for a crime of passion, or as a motive to commit a crime. Is there no other way to develop a story? Ps. I, too am disheartened and bothered by media (movies, series, heck even tv news) and the course it takes sometimes. I can count with one hand, the number of movies that don't use romance as follow up, or the second season of series that develop romance as motives. (Tremors movies is an example of something i like. Romance isnt a strong motive there.) Now on the topic of the thread, my pansexual identity only meets my aromantic one in very few instances. I see them as separate because I am pansexual, but that does not erase that I am aromantic too. I can meet any person, and the first thing I do is to know if they like coffee or not. I don't see their identity nor sexuality as a factor of anything. I only want what's not to see with the eye, their ideals, their aspirations, how they drink tea or coffee, do they use straws?, are they comfy with me or do they want space?. Those things I care about more than anything, because I want to see more than an average person, what should be really important, and that doesn't relate with if I would sleep with the person or not, yes that would be an option, but it is not the only thing that I care about. Soul before bed, if at all cuz I certainly not actively looking for sex, only a deeper relationship that leads me to getting to know someone more than the rest of the world, and that relationship does not have to involve romance. Enjoying a walk with someone doesn't mean I have to sleep with that person, heck my dog sleep with me, and do people ask me: hey, do you have sex with your dog? No. they say: omg so cute! mine sleeps with me too!. (bit of rant but yeah) Tldr: sexual identity doesn't relate with romantic identity, only small overlaps. and dogs are cute :3
  6. Yes. Both spin-off. The originals and Legacies. I like more the originals tho.
  7. 1. I went through a period that I didn't know if I was pan or bi, since I questioned if I would really go out with anyone I met. Then, a couple of years later, I knew I was 100% pan, since I could picture myself with basically anyone, tho I had a preference so I knew I wasn't omnisexual. 2. I do not really think my sexual orientation plays a role in my romantic orientation. I see myself as pansexual and aromantic, both are separate. I see my sexuality as if I would sleep with someone (in this case with anyone regardless of sex or gender identity) and my romantic orientation as how I feel doing romance coded activities (in this case I don't feel butterflies, nor any arousal or need to do romantic things). 3. Both are different identities of myself, they overlap very little, and I feel that I can use them as separate terms and still convey my wholeness to some extent.
  8. Hello to you too anon, ok this is from my own personal experience and I think it will help you. First of all, antidepressants can affect your sexual experience and libido in really big way. I know this because I have been on some myself and the ride is not pleasant. Bit of science class: If you are on SSRI, what it's doing is blocking your serotonin receptors in your brain so the molecule can continue along your blood and have more serotonin around. Now this is good for you, but also bad for your sexual drive because now the body will need a lot of stimulation to get aroused, if you even can in some cases. This is because the antidepressant "numbs" you, what is happening is that the signal from a stimulation gets sluggish, and since you need a lot of stimulation to get aroused, it gets harder to achieve. Another thing: Loss of appetite is another side effect from antidepressants, (and weight gain too it annoying). I understand your struggle of wanting to feel something, desiring something that you cannot attain. Its really frustrating because you want to be "normal". What's more, since you are "forcing" yourself to feel something it leads to stress, which your body rejects and you become more stressed with yourself. ^ Obsessive thoughts here too. Thinking in someone constantly is something we can do with or without having a obsessive personality or disorder. What is important here is the manner of it, since I can be thinking in my best friend obsessively but that doesn't mean I want something from they, just that I am thinking of something specific from they, maybe I want to snuggle, or maybe a test is coming and I know they are bad at that subject and I can't stop wondering how they are doing. Now, the butterfly in the stomach is a sign of more than affection (so they say sorry i don't feel this). ^ Ok, now for the finale, you are not rambling ^^. It is enterily fair what you are feeling, that frustration. I understand that you want to fall in love, but there are so much kinds of love, it doesn't have to be romantic, or sexual. It can be platonic, aesthetic, emotional. You can fall in love with the personality of that person, with who they are, it doesn't have to be with their genitalia. Speaking from a pansexual point of view, when I meet someone, I pay attention to every single thing they say and do. And I choose them based on how they present themselves, if I like it then I talk to them or do anyhting else, and if I do not like it I continue on. This is without taking how they look, their birth sex, etc, just how they speak. You voice what you want, or what you want to be, or what youu are insecure and compensate in some way (at least that's what I think). You can stay here with us, or you can stay and love your pets! pets give you unconditional love, ^^ when humans fail, choose a pet. Hope this helps.
  9. They are! ball pythons are very docile, and you can play lots with them. Sadly, like yourself I don't have one currently because of my schedule. Before this pandemic happened I was at home only to sleep and cook. And I believe that a pet deserves time and dedication, which I could not give.
  10. Kingsnakes are indeed royal. But like reticulated pythons, and all other aggressive snakes, they should be treated with respect and lot and lots of patience. The coloration i so damn beautiful :3
  11. No to both. I consider marriage a social construct, one that is kinda binding and suffocating for me. I can live with someone and be happy together without having to marry that person. Kinda roommates situation. I see kids and is hella cool...but away from me. I consider myself the rich single uncle if I would be ever in that situation, never will I ever have biological children. The only exception to the rule is if I served as a foster home, but not a permanent one, just till they can rise their wings and fly on their own. Living alone is great for me, since i try to be as independent as possible.
  12. I love the ice cream one. But for me the food that screams aro for me is a key lime pie. It has both green, and sometimes white. Also that food tastes like life for me.
  13. Hello comment ça va Kandance! (my french is rusty so sorry if mispelled something) I go by Blake here cuz of RWBY fandom. i like snakes too, boa constrictor, racers, and reticulated pythons ^^. Hope that here you can find your specifics, and that you feel comfy.
  14. When you proved to yourself that you where indeed aro, you needed hard evidence to completely convince yourself. Idk any other way to convince myself than to actually try to be in a relationship. Yes the other person could have gotten a heads up, but then the experiment would have gotten biased from their part. In honesty, I don't think you should feel bad for discovering yourself. That sense of betrayal to the other person is a product that could not be avoided. What is important is that you figured yourself out. Also, same when my relationship ended I did not feel heartbreak nor falling out of love, it was just an "oh well now I'm kinda hungry now, wish there was some ice cream"
  15. First of all, I am sorry that you had this experience. Family can be super toxic, since they know only some information about you, and assume the rest. I wish that your mom gets around, but never think you are not valid, nor your fake just by chaning labels. A label is something that is used to better help yourself and others have a north to understand something, it is by no means something written in stone. Live your life, it is yours to decide, do not let anyone slut shame you, or -shame you of anything. If you need a vent, you can always message me.
  16. 1) I will be content if I see an aro character who lead a normal life, that it is labelled specifically as aro but they show him as an average human being. Because we are normal in the sense that we want to be accepted. By not making a whole season trying to "fix" they, just living an average life, it would help to not see us as some mythic animal (It is our secret and we cannot be discovered). 2) Nothing has come close. The only show that I know who has gone and put non binary character as more than sex objects, or people with mental illness or something to "fix" is sense 8. For me it opened the door to see character by how they truly are, and not what they want me to believe they are. Ofc none of the characters identify as aro, ace, but nevertheless they are portrayed as something to take real pride. no series (in my opinion) has done this with their characters.
  17. From what you just said, I think you should talk with her so both can be on the same page. I don't think you are stepping out of line from what you wrote, you conveyed the message clear enough for more than one person to understand you ^^. ^ This is so important. I am completely different between my close friends and the rest of the world. From the outside, people describe me as funny, driven, high self esteem, super intelligent, romantic. But those who I truly let know the real me know that I am insecure, vulnerable, that i am indeed aro and my self esteem is lower than a amoeba. If she told you that she is aro ace then that opens the door to ask what things she is comfortable and what things she isn't.
  18. Thanks. Im very proud wearing it in my home.
  19. Like @Jot-Aro Kujo said, an attraction needs a target, be it a specific person (ex. crushes/squishes) or a group of persons (male/female/any in between). Wanting or being curious about a theme (in this case sex or experimenting) is totally normal. From my experience, I thought being in a relationship was something I was super curious for years, since everyone I knew who was in one escribed it as the most amazing experience ever. But lo and behold when I was in one, I felt opressed. My curiosity led me to experiment and to gain knowledge of myself, it was because of that relationship that I discovered that it wasn't for me (since it involved romance and I identify as aro). Hope this helps, and there is nothing wrong with you mate, if you want to try something new do it (safety first tho).
  20. YMBA if kissing and/or hugging all the pets in your friends house is the first and only romance coded thing you do.
  21. Hello there Collie. Welcome, and may you find comfort in this place ^^
  22. Thanks, now to wait this pandemic to be over and go out with them to see if someone recognize the meaning ^^. Gonna be very wholesome if someone understands it.
  23. Finally my friend finished both ring ^^ here they are. The first one is from a wart from a Box Elder tree (a maple tree), the arrow was made using a laser, also stainless steel so my sweat isn't absorbed and has a layer of wax for humidity protection. The second one is white acrylic, sadly the laser could not burn it, but nevertheless gonna use it too. I'm so happy :3
  24. From my experience, i knew I was aro after I found the term in the internet and did like @nonmerci an introspection. Whenever you like or not romance is ok and doesn't invalidate what you are. What I love about labels is that you can stick it anywhere as long as you want to, and a label is only a description of something, in this case a group of people. If you feel like you belong, then you belong ^^. Also, just like that if you don't lik it, the label can be stripped off and nothing will happen. You can question your identity, but only you will truly know the answer, what the rest of the people can do is help you discover it (here we doing that I think). Character in a book: In a house, a cute human returned from work. As they opened the door, a black cat jumped to the human's shoulder. "Hello furball, guess what will happen today?" they said cheerfully. The cat meowed and purred, and started sniffing the clothes. "Yup, you guessed it, Yang is coming here to pass some quality time with ME not you, muahahahaha". After the monologue, the cute human went to bath, heated some leftovers to eat for dinner and started preparing the sofa for when Yang came. About 30 mins later Yang came dressed in a yellowish dress and beside her was a cooling box full of cheap wine. "I see you brought this year provisions for the marathon, it's gonna be a long one" said the cute human. "You bet it will be, said Yang happily, "btw need to use bathroom so shu shu shu start prepping everything". After some minutes Yang came back from the bathroom and threw herself into the sofa, "Phew, ok im rdy, make some space for me", and started pushing the cute human out of the sofa and looking for the first bottle of wine. "Mate, you make space, this sofa is mine, and it is on!" said cute human while taking a bottle too, Yang took the control and pressed start. And just like that, the marathon started, they where starting the marathon of the year, all movies in chronological order from Lord of the Rings, all extended edition, around 26 hours in total including breaks to go to the bathroom. The only rule is to drink everytime someone unsheathed a sword. Every year, the duo chooses a marathon to do to celebrate their friendship. The tradition has been uphelded for 10 years, 5-5 has been the score of who is the first to fall asleep. When the marathon is over and all the wine is used up, they share their updates on life. This time was not different. "Ha I won this year" said Yang somewhat drunk. "Pfft, in your dreams, I saw you nodding off at the last movie clearly I won" protested the cute human. "Hmmm, so tiebreaker it is, fine where is the tiebreaker?" Followed Yang, and started looking for the black cat. "Eh, furball should be on the top of the fridge? Or in the window" After a few minutes of looking, Yang came with the cat in hands. "Here it is, lets see who is the true winner, same rules as always, if it meows three times or goes to the fridge I win, if it goes to the sofa or meows once, you win". Blake, the black cat, was then put on the floor to manifest its will. It sat, and started licking its paws. "Welp, this is gonna be a long one again" said the cute human, "So how is life? You where looking for that barista right? The one that made you the perfect white chocolate pumpkin latte with double expresso shot. "Yeah! Oh gosh that barista had god hands" answered Yang, "I haven't found her...yet; How 'bout you, still looking for that special someone?". The cute human smirked, "Oh ho, maybe, just maybe I found that someone" whispered smoothly. Yang opened wide her eyes, "Did you????", but before the cute human could answer, a loud sound came from upstairs, Yang jumped, but the cute human only started laughing. "Yup, she is up just in time. Blake! Come here, there is someone that wishes to meet you" and no longer than 10 seconds a shadow was seen from the stairs, and the most handsome dog came into view. Yang just stood there, gazing at the majesticness of that white as snow pelt from the Siberian Husky, and just said: "Nothing is perfect, but...that is very close to it. Umm what happened to the non furry friend of yours? You know, the one that walked in two legs." To that question, the cute human just sighed and said: "Well, it started gucci, lots of sex which we both liked...buuuut at the end of the day, I prefer to be with you than him. Sure, sex is good but he cannot give me what I want the most, to be at peace. I feel that when I'm with you, I am truly me, goofy, loud, and careless. I have told him that I cannot feel love like he feels it, and he is super ok with that, and tries to make me comfortable and give me my space. Not everyone is like that you know? Certainly not any of my exes, not one of them understood me." To all this information Yang could only absorb it, "...damn" was the only thing Yang let out, "well that is more than I expected, holy macaroni, this is so much info, I don't even know how to start, ok ok, first of all, I am super glad you feel that way with me, seriously. Second, you didn't answered my question, Where is he?". To that, the cute human let a laugh and responded: "He is hanging with his friends playing dnd, wont be coming in a week i think, cross state trip, and thanks for...you know not freaking out with me telling you that, you know I would say I oove you the same way I love Blake and Sasha, all three are my furballs. To that, Yang started laughing, "Me a furball?? I only let my hair this long to see if I could find that barista, im sure he mentioned something of my hair that only time we talked, I forgot what it was but maybe he likes long hair. ALSO, where the hell is Blake and Sasha??? I totally forgot about them" the cute human smirked, "Blaaaaake", and then a single meow was heard. "I win". Hope my story helps you. Is based on a true story (with some minor changes, to keep it short). I'm no writer but I tried :3
  25. 1. For me gender is what I, as an individual, say I am. This is based on the information that I have on the current time, so it may change if new information comes to me. Last year i identified as my birth sex, but i learned about androgynous and it clicked wayyyy more to me than my birth sex (which I questioned through the years but I didn't want to explore that part of me because I was scared that I wouldn't fulfill societys' criteria). Now the expectations from society matters to me the same a blade of grass matters to Pluto. 2. I partially answered this above. For me, I don't care what people think of me now. My gender identity is for my brain and no one elses, and I am happy with what I am now. 3. I sat down my sweet ass and started researching every terminology I could find about gender identity. A couple of hours later, and about 96 oz of black coffee later I found androgynous and knew it was me. Tldr: self exploration and internet. 4. Now, I am not genderfluid, but from what I understand, it is different from the normal experience. First, you do not choose, this means that you may wake up and feel more femenine, and then through the day you may change to feeling more masculine. And then again femenine and so on. The time of change can be from minutes to months or years. It is kind of roulette game that you do not know what the prize will be. Also, i used the binary becasue it is easier to explain, I don't know if the persons experience more than male and female, so any genderfluid is welcome to correct me and give light.
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