Jump to content

Blake

Member
  • Content Count

    117
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    3

Posts posted by Blake


  1. 45 minutes ago, nonmerci said:

    I also enjoy some video games, but my father says it's for little kid and I should grow up. I'd like to see him win Fire emblem Fates Conquest in the hardest mode. Then we'll talk.

    ^ This is so true. After being rly angry with myself and lots of days later I got through it. I like a challenge, but sometimes the challenge wants me to suffer. And for musicals, the Percy Jackson one I heard is quite good, the music and the story.


  2. 4 hours ago, Oatpunk said:

    Damn, it's just you and me, Blake. Alone in the arocalypse! 

    Also, yes, you will cry! A lot! But it's a nice cry. A cathartic cry. 

    :3 then lookng forward to it. Also yeah, sometimes we alone, but I like that we can come here each day and find new things.

    • Like 1

  3. 5 hours ago, AroThroughMyHeart said:

    I really enjoy the calm moments in life when you are not needed to do everything. Things like being up in the middle of the night when you're allowed to do whatever you want alone, reading, just listening to music in your room etc. The world is so fast and we always have the next thing to do that I just absolutely love those calm moments

    Love your profile pic. and indeed those moments are beautiful. I would love to have them once per month tho ^^ no more than that. As someone who has insomnia I can tell you that sometimes you only want to sleep some nights. But I agree with you that the world want us to do everything faster. To maximize time. So when you can take it slow, relax and enjoy a good cup of cofee/chocolate and a good reading, it is blissful.


  4. 6 minutes ago, Oatpunk said:

    A 6000 feet tall aromantic fire squid demon and a nonbinary AI adopts a group of humans in order to save them from an eternity of penis bees. 

      Reveal hidden contents

    The good place

     

    Yassssss. I don't want to see the season finale because i know I will cry and then I won't have a series to pick me up


  5. 1 hour ago, Oatpunk said:

    I also think cleaning my ears feels nice, so you're not alone there. It's probably because the skin in the ears is so sensitive? 

    Once I knew the answer, but now i do not. But that feeling is so amazing for me that I love it each day with the same intensity.


  6. 2 hours ago, Confusedc said:

    When reading all about aromantisism and reading people stories on how they discovered out that the orientation fit them well. The majority of people said that when the realised it was like something clicked, they were happy and finally knew who they were, they felt less alone and that they felt completely comfortable and ok with this being their orientation. Is this how you all felt when you realised you were aro?

    For me it wasn't a click click. I was looking at pinterest boards and there was an aroace comic strip and it mentioned aromantic. Got curious and looked it up and each word of the AUREA definition was a fit. And I said: "ohhhhhhh so I am not broken!, yay". And then found this website and started to read the threads and become more informed. So yeah, it was like the road was foggy and suddenly the fog became thinner and thinner until it dissipated. And yes, I was really happy. I still am, but saying that it is always joy would be false. There are times I long to have a meaningful relationship with someone, even though I have friends who support me 100%. The feeling that your friends will someday go and find a special someone and you will be left behind like a last potato chip in is real. But don't let a single emotion dictate your entire future. Enjoy the present and who you are, first we have to be as whole as possible before even starting to work on the world.

    2 hours ago, Confusedc said:

    Also, when I've been reading alot about aro/aces I've had the question bouncing around in my head that if you have not felt any sort of romantic/sexual feelings by a certain age does this mean you never will? I know that may sound naive as I know you cant control your emotions but as a general consensus of people who identify with the orientation? Has their ever been anyone who identified as aro/ace but later on their orientation changed?

    Everyone grows at their own pace. Comparing a rich boy from California with a middle class boy from Istanbul is hard. The way the both are raised is different. What they eat/do/see is totally different. Maybe the rich boy throws parties each weekday, while the middle class boy barely has time to eat. At age 9, both of those boys will have different experiences, and so will they see things from a different perspective. But to ask your question, yes, there are persons who started with being orientation A and changed to orientation B. The reasons are their own, maybe they felt more identified with B than A and changed. Maybe they are experimenting, but that it can change, it does. Sexuality is fluid, it is not a straight binary, think like it as a painting. A bit of orange here, and touch of gray here and a whole lot of purple over there.


  7. 11 hours ago, Oatpunk said:

    When this person I had been seeing declared that they were falling in love with me, I was like "oh shit, but I really like them so maybe if they just gave me some fucking time and don't go so fucking fast I can fall in love with them too." So I ended up stringing the poor person along until they were in love with me and that's when I decided to end things for both our sakes and it was a mess. 

    I passed through a similar experience and like yours, it was messy. But we learned ^^ now we know better and that is what matters. First one's peace of mind and health and then the others.

    • Like 1

  8. Ok, ok. First, hello there. ^^ Now to the topic, labels are meant to be used to make it easier for your brain to understand a topic. If you feel like you are inside a label, then use it. If you want to change labels midway it is also ok. Sexuality is messy at best, it is fluid like water, yes, but it can be also unmoving like a rock. Ex. I am aromantic and pansexual. Before I thought I was bisexual, but that changed and now I am pansexual and I am sure that it won't change again. So yes, sexuality is fluid until the point that you are satisfied with what you are experiencing and choose that label. Maybe it will change in the future, but that is up to your future self to work out. Concentrate in your present self.

    Having fantasies of being in a relationship and actually being in a relationship are two different things. It is ok if you don't want to be in a relationship, or some if you do not want some of the elements of the relationship. Think in all the things that you would want to do with that other person. If you feel that you want that, then go ahead and experiment. There is nothing wrong with that, just give that other person the heads up that you are experimenting and that maybe it will work out or maybe not, but you are giving it a try. The amount of crushes or the time lapse between them is by no means an indicative that relationships may work out. It is just a number that you have of the amount of times that you have seen someone and went "wow my feelings/emotions are all over the place".

    Now to the sentence that caught my interest:

    On 6/29/2020 at 12:57 PM, Guest I am confusion said:

    Could I have lost the ability to feel romantic attraction and “turn” aro/cupio because sexuality is fluid? 

    You could lost the ability to feel certain attractions, but that would mean that your body is actively blocking certain emotions to protect you from reviving a traumatic event. Ex. A dog bit you and from that trauma now you cannot be near dogs (aka PTSD). Aside from that, it is my understanding that sexuality being fluid doesn't mix with being aro/cupio. I am aromantic and always have been. That I did not know it before doesn't change the fact that I have never felt romantic attraction nor that in the future there is 99.99% chance that I won't feel that specific type of attraction. And if I do? Well that is up to future me to decide, cuz 0.01% is also a chance, but does it keeps me up at night? Hell no, cuz I am happy being aro. The realization of me being aro was one of the few times in life that I can say with absolute certainty that it lifted an invisible weight from me. Cuz there was a label for me and I wasn't the only one that experienced x, y, z. It brought happiness, and maybe it brings some things like problems with finding a parther to share my life, but that is in the future. I wanna live the present and enjoy it. ^^ Hope it could help you mate.

    • Like 1

  9. I usually ship in fiction when it is obvious that there is chemistry between the pair. (Ex. Dean-Castiel cuz it is just there the connection between both). I don't like real life shipping cuz I think that people are not toys to play with and thus making a ship between real people seems like playing. The only shipping I believe 100% is me with coffee tbh, other than that it is up to interpretation of the actions between the two or more inside the ship.

    Before identifying as aro, I think I believed in Love at First Sight, even though it seemed weird. Now I do not believe that and kinda repulsed by the idea of it cuz I see it as unreal at best. People choose to fall in love, the do not fall in it, cuz the concept of falling is like a mistep, a mistake.

    Lastly, my vision of otp and ships change when I finished watching on netflix sense 8, since the description made there (no spoilers) is what I would believe should happen.


  10. 10 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

    I love early afternoon showers. I grew up through a few droughts, even living in one house that relied solely on rainwater for a time, so I am very water conscious and shower maybe once or twice a week. The shower might be hot or cold, but the luxury is the timing. I just think there is something so nice about the day around 12-3pm that makes 'me time' extra special. 

    That sounds fantastic mate. As a environmentalist it makes me happy that people are water conscious, because water is a very important thing we need and not everyone has the luxury of having it as available as some of us have. Thanks for sharing!


  11.  

    On 6/27/2020 at 9:41 AM, Guest Redpanda said:

    How would you go about explaining that I am exploring my sexuality without sounding like I'm using them? (which I do not I think, I only meet those that I'm truly interested in). I just said that I am still unsure/confuse to what I am feeling and that I never had crushes before. And looking back, I don't think it was the most accurate thing to say. I don't want to be misleading :/

    I would tell them straight up in the first date that you are exploring dating, and that you want to take it slow to get to know everything about it at your own pace and get to know if dating is for you or not. That is honest, and if the guy is worth something he will understand and won't pressure you. The important thing is that you feel comfy dating. Feelings are confusing, and having crushes is overrated :3 You are not misleading them by any means, it is not your responsibility if they don't understand that feelings are complex and that you are exploring yours. What is important is that you take it at your own pace and don't let anyone pressure you into anything. Hope it could help you.

    • Like 1

  12. 13 hours ago, aro_elise said:

    i've heard that it's pretty common for americans to never leave the country, like not because of money or work or whatever but because they just don't feel like it, and that's crazy to me. 

    I have heard this too, and I think like you. I love traveling too and since my budget is kinda limited my preference are cruises (cuz of unlimited food and I just love the sea) and also cuz I can visit more than one place. Only downside is that it is kinda quick, but it is cheaper and "safer" than traveling by myself to a place for the first time.


  13. It is rather simple, what things you do that causes you to feel super great but at the same time, people don't appreciate them as much as they should be.

    For me it is cleaning my earwax with q-tips (cotton swabs). idk why but it causes me to feel sooooo good, and my friends don't see at as something that off the world. :3 Maybe it is me, but I just love it.

    So yeah, what are your pleasures of life? Be it an activity, a food, drink, etc. I would be happy to know what things causes us that sense of fulfillment and pleasure.


  14. I don't have a lot to go from what you told here so I will thread lightly. First of all, since you know about xe entering in a qpr I am assuming that you are in an open relationship that both of you have spoken about. I guess you both have spoken about the rules of the relationship, so parting from there I do not see that xe did something wrong. Now, if you feel uncomfy you should voice it since I am sure that xe isn't a clairvoyant. Also, it is not bad that you are feeling what you are feeling, after all, you here initially with your bf and that friend has been rude to you. Talk with your bf of why he looked for another relationship and how it would then be the new rules, cuz you do not have to be with that friend also. You are enough as you are, do not think that you are missing something, just open a communication, and if you want that friend to be in the convo the sure, and if not then don't.

    Tldr: speak with your bf and ask everything that you feel should be asked. Bf being in a qpr doesn't mean you are missing something, just that now a new player is in the game and you want to know all the whys.

    This was as light as possible since I do not know everything from your pov.

     


  15. 24 here. and yeah, most people here are still in high school, which is quite interesting. Younger people already exploring their identity makes me so happy, cuz I didn't have that pleasure. (Now I feel old, but happy nevertheless :3)


  16. Hello there ash li, I am sorry to hear that you feel that way. To answer your question simple yet incomplete, it is normal. But then you have to ask yourself what is normal, and then if normal for me is normal for you, because you are seeing it as society wants you to see it, and that is with one eye blind. You don't have to be normal, normal is overrated. You can be you, and you didn't choose to be aromantic anymore than a flower decided to bloom, it just did. Ask yourself if you want to fight against what you are, or would you rather accept what you are and continue on following the misty road of life. I know that you feel broken, and that you are missing out, but that doesn;t mean that it is completely true, cuz you will miss out whatever the future is holding when you die, or you have missed out the first 4 billion year of the universe :3. What I am trying to say is that it is ok to miss out of things, because we are only one drop of water in an ocean, maybe you will move through some places, but you won't be able to be in all places.

    So yeah, it is ok to miss out, because then you can experience things differently. Also, being in a relationship that was toxic is something I can somewhat relate to, so it is ok, now it is over and that is what matters. You can search here about amatonormativity, it may bring you some light. And something that I can tell you is that even though you feel broken, you aren't. You are you, the same way that I am me. Comparing yourself with something puts value in you, and you are invaluable ^^. Cheers mate and hope I helped you a bit.


  17. Firstly, hi!!! ^^ and second, only you can know what label you want and fits you, like @Apathetic Echidna said, there is nothing wrong changing labels based on your experiences. They are there to help you and your brain find something comfy and wholesome for you. Now, let me try to help you by telling you my experiences as an aromantic.

    I experience don't experience romantic attraction at all, but I do experience other types of attractions, like platonic, sensual and aesthetic. One of the things that people misunderstand when they interact with me is that my behavior is socially flirty, not because I want it, but because my actions do not go according to what society stipulates it should be for people that barely know one another. So that is something that you should ask yourself. Also, I am speaking as an aromantic, not as a demiromantic, so idk if you want to experience it (by this I mean to develop a with someone a romantic relationship to know how you react) to convince yourself (you should only try to convince yourself not others). This ofc, should be done if you want, and the other person should be aware of the situation,  that you are rightfully exploring your sexuality, there is nothing wrong with that.

    For me, I knew I was aromantic cuz I was in a relationship and I felt nothing of the romantically coded activities, and I was told multiple times I did not have feelings, which I do, but they are not romantic ones. You can befriend people because maybe you crave meaningful interactions with persons. We are social animals and there is nothing wrong with that, and maybe that friend can be a fbw, or strictly just friends, that is up to you to put boundaries. For me, every friend I have know that I have no problem having sex with them, but do I do it? nop. I look in a friend someone to be able to be relaxed, and enjoy myself and I see sex as an activity, just like riding a bicycle or exercising, not as a special moment cuz I don't think sex should be high on a pedestal, you can do it or you don't, that is up to you and life will continue either way.

    Now if you want to identify with the label demiromantic, maybe you want first a friend, but then want something more intimae with that person. Maybe first they have to be a friend, and have a bond to then develop mushy feelings. Personally I don't so I won't speak a lot of it cuz I don't know it, but from what people say, you will develop feelings for that person after you form a bond, so i guess that is where you should start (if you do plz be safe).

    As a scientist,  one experiment is not enough make a conclusion (natural science here, not social science), you should explore different scenarios until you are satisfied with the results. But keep open communications with whoever you are exploring your sexuality plz, you are exploring yourself but that other person is a human too and keeping them in the dark about whatever is happening is at the very least inconsiderate cuz that person may develop feelings for you and it is spending of their time to be with you. Sorry if it was too long, cheers and hope I could help you.


  18. I have rejected people making advances to me by just changing the theme and saying we have to study and keep the conversation in the theme of the study even though I know full well that they are making a "move" on me. I just don't care and they usually drop it at second try of me being "oblivious". People overestimate my mind, they think I am dumb when it comes to feelings, but the reality is that I see what they want and just don't care about it. Not my problem that you thought that we where going to bed with me mate, the test of the zoology class is 100000000x more important than that so suck it up and keep quizzing me with my index cards (mini vent cuz I really wanted to give it a try studying with someone else than my dog but apparently it can't be done without "distractions")


  19. I wish I could tell you that the feelings you are feeling will pass eventually, but that would be a lie. I feel you, I am not where you are, but I know all to well that dark corner of your mind who whispers that you will never be happy, that you will die alone and ugly and smelly and lots of other things. My words to you are: Even though you righteously feel like you do, do not give up hope. It is ok to not find what you are looking for. But that does not mean all hope is lost. Yes, maybe you will never find that person...but that does not mean that you will pass every second of your remaining life miserable. In your journey you will make friends that won't be romantically involved with you, but you may find those who are. I am aro and pansexual, so maybe this doesn't make a lot of sense to you, but what I do is to say "I have a very open mind" to all my friends. And I do, I really do, but that sentence lets them know that I am not an average person, and that maybe I want something more than friendship. It is not written in stone, 95% time that sentence means that we speak of weird things (ex. how the opposite of a centaur would live; can we mix genetics to adapt humans to extreme climate thus making the liveable planet zone more ample?/etc) but that other 5% means that if we both want to, cuddles may happen/sex/maybe a bit of kissing/ or any other activity that we all want to do. Maybe it won't work with you, but maybe it helps you. I hope it helps you, really, cuz what I say to myself to get out of the dark zone of my mind is that it helps neither my brain nor me to think negative all the rest of my life, let myself think the "impossible" and try to do viceras, hearts ^^ (in spanish is: trata de hacer tripas, corazon). Cheers mate

    • Like 2
×
×
  • Create New...