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I don't really get repulsed by it, in films and books i find it boring, in songs it's just something you learn to accept (though i like metal and punk mostly and fortunately love isn't one of the main topics haha) If it's directed at me it's more of a hassle than something that freaks me out bc i have to tell them i'm not interested and this can be pretty difficult idk. Sometimes seeing couples irl and in films just kinda makes me sad like, am i broken? Missing something? Missing out? Which can cause spiraling

Of course i understand that it's wrong because it was a violation of boundaries! I guess i'm wondering more on the emotional side of it because it sucks when my friends come to me for advice when they have been cheated on (usually i'm good at advice) and i just cannot comprehend how they are feeling and why it hurts so much that the person they are with shared an emotional connection or sexual experience with someone else or why barely any relationships are polyamorous. Maybe it will become clearer with time that was a really good explanation! If i can translate it into something i am passionate about it makes a lot more sense i just want to understand it more so i can help my friends, Kind of glad i don't have to worry about all that now haha

Thank you:) The boundary explanation helped a lot, and i should have said that i do know the difference between polyamory and cheating! Honestly i just want to be able to help my friends when they come to me for advice but it's an emotion i can't really fathom as i've never been in a situation where i have someone all to myself it's so weird

Despite the fact i've never really had any romantic feelings for anyone, I always dismissed the fact I might be aro because I absolutely love romantic moments, the cliche stuff like someone throwing rocks at my window so we can sneak out and go for a midnight drive and watch the stars, or standing outside a party in the cool breeze, with the music sounding rather muffled while we share a cigarette, or running across a field in the rain laughing, or sharing a milkshake in an empty diner somewhere in the desert, i could go on. But whenever i'd talk about this with people they would entertain me for a bit and then be like "yeah but we can also just stay in and cuddle and make out all day,' which to me sounds dreadfully boring:/ Kissing looks really cool in movies n stuff but i really don't see the point? That's for food not smushing against someone else. One day I was at a concert with a guy i kinda knew and he was flirting with me all day and I pretended not to notice, but then during the show he told me and asked if he could kiss me, and I said yea bc the situation was so magical, with the pretty lights and soulful music n shit and i knew i'd regret it if i didn't but i felt absolutely NOTHING, it was kinda disappointing. So yeah i think i'm just an aro dude who needs some good friends to do whack shit with because you don't need to be dating someone to sneak out with them at 3am and get high in a skate park. There's a quote by the 1975 that has really stuck with me "don't fall in love with the moment and think you're in love with the girl."

I get that cheating is bad and wrong but i literally can't comprehend why, people say it's a breach of trust but aaaaah i don't see why it's so bad to be with two people, it's so weird not being able to understand why people get so destroyed over it:// Relationships seem more trouble than they're worth why would you want to be tied down to someone? Does anyone relate? Or can explain why being cheated on feels so bad?

i guess i've never really experienced this problem as most of the guys i hang out with are all really into bands or comic books or shit like that so we have discussions about our interests rather than girls:/ I guess when you're with your bandmates focus on the thing you all have in common which is the band ofc:) And you don't necessarily have to come out, just tell them you're not really interested in relationships/girls rn and the discussions are getting kinda boring,, and that you're not gay lmao bc they will immediately assume that?