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Everything posted by Alexrobinmc

  1. It really does make a lot of sense when you think about it, strange how the media is so obsessed with love, there's so many other cool things that are much more entertaining! But yeah i do think movies and songs and everything about romance is what lead to that feeling of missing out, without it it would just be another thing someone else liked that i didn't (beer for example)
  2. haha yeah and i get very invested in my interests, for example if i'm going through an obsession with a band that is literally all i think about and listening to them will give me immense joy and i will absolutely cry over them so i get where you're coming from😂
  3. So i know i don't feel romantic attraction to anyone but i can't help but feel i'm missing out? People talk about how falling in love is the most amazing feeling in the world and i want that but i don't feel it://
  4. Yeah i'm beginning to understand that now and starting to separate the two, it's making it easier to accept being aro
  5. Tbf i've never properly made out with anyone so i wouldn't know if i liked it, though one time some guy at a party gave me a hickey and i definitely liked that haha. I just don't get the "uwu cuddles i love u" shit
  6. I think i'm probably aro at this point, as for asexuality i think i'm grey ace maybe? idk but it's interesting someone relates:)
  7. So i'm 17 (male) and since i was 13 i've desperately wanted a relationship, when i was 13 i'm pretty sure i had a crush on my best friend but she didn't like me back, and i was in a really bad place anyway so i don't think i could have kept it going. Since then i have felt absolutely nothing for anyone, there have been about 4 instances where people have flirted with me and i went along with it hoping that i'd develop feelings (and also because i like being flirted with?). But then they'd ask me out and i'd panic because i couldn't possibly enter a relationship where i felt nothing? I wouldn't want to hurt them. Either that or we'd keep the whole flirting thing going until i got fed up of them being all cutesy around me because it was boring and i wanted to joke around instead. But during these times i really learnt how alien all this romantic stuff feels to me, holding hands, cuddling, cheek kisses, slow dancing, it was like i was acting a part, when i shouldn't have been, i should have liked them, they would all have been well suited to me. With the one crush i did have, i never had an urge to kiss her, but i'm pretty sure it was a crush because i just had a really intense longing feeling and i wanted to always be hugging her (at the time i was very against hugs and being touched) and i would think about her all the time and my heart went panic mode, and even though we don't talk anymore i really miss her and still feel a small sense of longing even now. But what does that make me? If i've had a crush, find people attractive (just to look at) and desire a relationship but not felt anything other than that one time and never wanted to kiss anyone? and while having a crush was painful i liked it in a way because it was a super intense feeling and i can only imagine what that would be like if it was reciprocated but i just feel like i'm missing out while everyone around me is dating and falling in love://
  8. I am like this too:(( I really want to experience the amazing feelings associated with love but I just don’t feel anything and when people act romantic with me I just get bored and it sucks so bad
  9. I’m exactly the same woah! I really want a relationship as people describe it as an amazing feeling and I hate missing out:(( but I just don’t feel anything and it’s frustrating, when people want to be romantic with me I just get bored:// so I think I’m cupioromantic and I kinda hate it
  10. It's annoying bc i absolutely love things like people playing with my hair, lightly stroking my arms or other sensory stuff and cuddling but my friends would probably think this is weird as these things are normally romantic stuff. I just really like being touched haha
  11. hugs are good if they are occasional and with someone i'm close with, sometimes it's just nice for comfort or to show someone i care abt them:) I really don't get hugging people you just met and doing it all the time it can be so awkward:/ Cuddling is the same ig, sometimes me n my friends just kinda lie on each other and idk i just really like the contact. As for kissing i've never seen the point it just looks gross
  12. I don't really get repulsed by it, in films and books i find it boring, in songs it's just something you learn to accept (though i like metal and punk mostly and fortunately love isn't one of the main topics haha) If it's directed at me it's more of a hassle than something that freaks me out bc i have to tell them i'm not interested and this can be pretty difficult idk. Sometimes seeing couples irl and in films just kinda makes me sad like, am i broken? Missing something? Missing out? Which can cause spiraling
  13. Of course i understand that it's wrong because it was a violation of boundaries! I guess i'm wondering more on the emotional side of it because it sucks when my friends come to me for advice when they have been cheated on (usually i'm good at advice) and i just cannot comprehend how they are feeling and why it hurts so much that the person they are with shared an emotional connection or sexual experience with someone else or why barely any relationships are polyamorous. Maybe it will become clearer with time that was a really good explanation! If i can translate it into something i am passionate about it makes a lot more sense i just want to understand it more so i can help my friends, Kind of glad i don't have to worry about all that now haha
  14. Thank you:) The boundary explanation helped a lot, and i should have said that i do know the difference between polyamory and cheating! Honestly i just want to be able to help my friends when they come to me for advice but it's an emotion i can't really fathom as i've never been in a situation where i have someone all to myself it's so weird
  15. Despite the fact i've never really had any romantic feelings for anyone, I always dismissed the fact I might be aro because I absolutely love romantic moments, the cliche stuff like someone throwing rocks at my window so we can sneak out and go for a midnight drive and watch the stars, or standing outside a party in the cool breeze, with the music sounding rather muffled while we share a cigarette, or running across a field in the rain laughing, or sharing a milkshake in an empty diner somewhere in the desert, i could go on. But whenever i'd talk about this with people they would entertain me for a bit and then be like "yeah but we can also just stay in and cuddle and make out all day,' which to me sounds dreadfully boring:/ Kissing looks really cool in movies n stuff but i really don't see the point? That's for food not smushing against someone else. One day I was at a concert with a guy i kinda knew and he was flirting with me all day and I pretended not to notice, but then during the show he told me and asked if he could kiss me, and I said yea bc the situation was so magical, with the pretty lights and soulful music n shit and i knew i'd regret it if i didn't but i felt absolutely NOTHING, it was kinda disappointing. So yeah i think i'm just an aro dude who needs some good friends to do whack shit with because you don't need to be dating someone to sneak out with them at 3am and get high in a skate park. There's a quote by the 1975 that has really stuck with me "don't fall in love with the moment and think you're in love with the girl."
  16. I get that cheating is bad and wrong but i literally can't comprehend why, people say it's a breach of trust but aaaaah i don't see why it's so bad to be with two people, it's so weird not being able to understand why people get so destroyed over it:// Relationships seem more trouble than they're worth why would you want to be tied down to someone? Does anyone relate? Or can explain why being cheated on feels so bad?
  17. i guess i've never really experienced this problem as most of the guys i hang out with are all really into bands or comic books or shit like that so we have discussions about our interests rather than girls:/ I guess when you're with your bandmates focus on the thing you all have in common which is the band ofc:) And you don't necessarily have to come out, just tell them you're not really interested in relationships/girls rn and the discussions are getting kinda boring,, and that you're not gay lmao bc they will immediately assume that🙄
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