Maximus

So my favorite book series is "the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel" by Michael Scott. There isn't any romance in it at all. (or if there is it was not a big enough deal for me to notice it) The series is about twin teenagers who get caught up in a magical world by complete accident or so they think. I would recommend it anyone, but especially arospec people, because of the lack of romance and the focus on platonic relationships. (both familial relationships and friendships)

And I've found my favorite phrase

I always called my QPP "my person" or "my partner". I hate the labels girlfriend and boyfriend especially applied to myself. Partner also sometimes makes me uncomfortable in certain contexts so I liked calling my QPP my person, the most.

@greyromantic kittay If you're still interested hit me up. I know it's been a bit though. I've been in a QPR and love talking about them. I'm high key romance repulsed, but also touch adverse (although my partner was very touchy so I've heard from her experience).

The last QPR I was in was like a deep friendship. We did some romo coded things (like holding hands and calling each other "love"), but for the most part it was just like having a best friend. But like a best friend that focused on you and you focused on them. We watching a lot of movies and sat close to each other (but not touching cause I'm very touch adverse). We played video games. We hung out with each other's families and were friends with each other's siblings. We told each other everything. I'm not ace , but she was and I'd talk about people I was attracted to sometimes and she was cool with it (yes I'm touch adverse, but not ace. It's weird for me too). We ate food together a lot. Um one time, we went to a dance and dressed up fancy mostly cause we both love fancy clothes. We did Theatre together so we hung out during breaks. It was nice to not have to pick a random person when someone asked who my crush was. I could just say my girlfriend, even though I hate that word with a fiery passion. I mostly called her my partner (sometimes partner in crime). We were both closeted about being aromantic so we told our families we were dating. My mom always said we were an "odd" relationship and I think that's cause we were not in a relationship as she sees them. Her mom said we "didn't have to pretend not to love each other" around her. Which I also think was because of us being in a QPR. We definitely treated each other very differently then our friends treated their romantic partners. We came to be in a QPR by trying to be in a romantic relationship. It was very clear it was not working. I came out to her as aromantic and explained it to her. She was really interested. She had known she was ace for a while, but didn't know there was a romantic equivalent. We broke up and were friends again. She came up to me like a few weeks later and said she thought she was aromantic too and I was super happy. I had never met an aro person in real life. A little while later (like a few days), I asked if she wanted to be in a QPR and she said yes. We were together for almost a year until I had to move away so we broke up. We're still friends though. There's another close friend of mine that we are kind of getting into a QPR. She seems to be interested in it and I am. I haven't asked her yet, but I'll probably bring it up before too long. We met in my first semester of college in a Calc class and have just hung out constantly since. I used to spend like 9-10+ hours a week with her. Not really doing anything special just watching movies in her dorm, eating food, or talking about the our fandoms (only one of which overlaps). Well and we talked about LGBT stuff since she is ace (I really have a type nerdy aces). This semester I haven't got to spend as much time with her cause our schedules are not very compatible, but we still spend 3-4 hours a week together and we talk on the phone. We just kinda clicked. There wasn't anything to it other than that.

My friend was trying to describe getting butterflies in her stomach and the closest feeling it reminded me of was when I bought a bunch of books and knew I'd get to read them when I went home. She died laughing when I said that.

To me gender is just the expectations society has for us based on our sex. I don't really believe in gender and don't find it very important. I Identify as non-binary, because being put in either gender box doesn't make sense to me. I personally don't understand what it would be like to feel like a gender and I love hearing binary trans people talk about gender cause it's such a foreign concept to me. I honestly have no clue what gender I am. I don't feel like anything so I just identify as non-binary. (I know agender exists, but for some reason the label doesn't click with me)

Welcome! I'm glad you are figuring yourself out. It's a wonderful feeling. Also thanks for posting, it always makes me feel better when I hear about aromantics who are older than teenagers. It makes me feel that adulthood is possible.

I go back and forth with whether I'd want to get married. On the one hand, it's hard to be by yourself in the society we live in (or at least I find it difficult). On the other hand, I've never been able to maintain and stay interested in a relationship for very long (qpr or romantic) and honestly they don't really make me all that happier than not being in one. They don't make me unhappy. I'm just blah. It's nice to have a person focused on me that I'm also focused on, but it's not like the goal of life. I want to adopt children, though. I could never have bio kids, it'd make me way too dysphoric. I've always loved kids and the thought of one day being a parent is an appealing one to me. I would love to have someone to help me with them, but it's not a requirement. My mom raised me and my brother just fine mostly on her own. I could do the same.