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About metelyk

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  1. Oh no! I found this forum recently and it has been nice to use, I hope, that it will continue to exist. I wish I could help but I have little money and little time
  2. I chose maybe for marriage. I do not want to get married, but I can not say I will not change my mind in the right circumstances (for example, with a qpp), even if it is very unlikely. For children, I chose biological children but I also wanted to choose adopted because I have no preference I have always wanted children and being single will not stop me from having them haha.
  3. I think, dreams do not always mean much. I believe, that they have symbolic meanings, yes, but not literal. Maybe flying means you feel free or light, but it does not mean you can literally fly. The same is for dreaming of a crush. Maybe you have been thinking about her lately, and your mind interpreted it as "what if things had been different?" so you dreamed of that? I had a similar dream 2-3 weeks ago. I do not normally dream of romance or romantic feelings (I think, I have had maybe 3 romantic dreams in my whole life) but this time I dreamed I was with a guy, that I almost date
  4. Titanic was my favourite movie as a child/teenager, but the love story went WAY over my head... I loved it because I like history and I thought, that the ship was cool. To me it was "this is historical drama where two people meet on a ship, but then it sinks and one of them dies, which is why it is important to always have enough lifeboats". I did not realise until many years later that people view it as a romantic story (Also, little ace Metelyk did NOT understand "draw me like one of your french women" scene hahaha)
  5. 1. I went through multiple periods of questioning. For a long time I was straight by default, then a friend came out as gay, so I started thinking about my orientation. I could not decide between bisexual and asexual. In the end I decided I was bisexual, then I questioned again and thought I was biromantic demisexual, then greysexual, then bi asexual. Only then, I started questioning being aromantic. It was a long process. 2. Discovering I am ace helped me discover I am aro. I think I first had to accept that it is okay to not experience sexual attraction, before I could accept it
  6. I also had an aro dream recently. I dreamed, that I was dating a guy (usually I never dream this). We decided to go on a holiday together to a village in the mountains. In the dream I did my best to NOT get tickets for the same bus and also booked my own room in the hotel. Then, halfway through the holiday, I forgot completely, I was with my guy, and I joined a group of American tourists instead and went skiing with them and had a lot of fun
  7. Wow, I relate to everything in this thread. I was feeling alone (my friends have been talking a lot about romance at the moment) and now I suddenly feel much less alone. It is great to know other people have the same experience and also do not understand romance
  8. Hello Amanda I also cried when I found out I am aro. Well, I cried several times in the process (first when I realised I am probably aro, then several times because I felt bad to be aro, then when an aro friend told me it's okay to be aro) - but I also felt very happy that finally I have an explanation for, well, my whole life. It is a complicated process. It is important to give yourself time with it I also feel guilty sometimes about the people I have dated in the past. I know that they loved me, and I did not know I was aro so I could not explain why I loved them,
  9. Yes! I love her, and the 9 year old who said "mmh, I guess it's a mystery". Also the 26 year old who said "knowing you are with good peeps, it doesn't have to be romantic"
  10. I found this video, with title "70 Women Ages 5-75 Answer: What Does It Mean to Be in Love?": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2oD2sZlQlw I thought, it will be fun to see how far I can watch the video and still relate to what they are saying. I can relate to the children ages 5-9, and after that it feels like the tone changes. Suddenly there is talk about butterflies and wanting to be with the person all the time. A lot of the descriptions I do not experience at all, but a lot of others, I do not understand why they have to be romantic? A lot of the time it just sounds like these p
  11. Thanks to everyone for your answers Yes, I know the concept of QPR and I have always thought it is something I want. (Even before I knew I was aro, I have said it was basically my ideal relationship.) But I did not know that QPR is also a way of feeling about people. I thought it was just a type of relationship that you can have. Is there such a thing as QPR attraction? Like romantic attraction, but instead of wanting to be in a romantic relationship, you want to be in a QPR. That might be able to describe how I feel. That sounds EXACTLY like it. I
  12. I feel like the way I love is not how people are supposed to love. I will try to explain. Sometimes (so far it has happened four times in my life) I will meet someone I feel a connection with. Like we have known each other before, like there is a deep part in me that recognises a deep part in them. I would say almost like soulmates, except the kind of soulmates were you have many, not just one. I love these people very, very deeply, and I want them to love me back the same way. Some of the things I want to do with them are: call ourselves best friends forever; chat about everything (often we h
  13. I am in the 20-25 age. I discovered aromanticism on an online forum around 2015, but I did not think it would apply to me, because the aromantic person was romance-repulsed and did not want any kind of close relationship, and that did not sound like me. (I also thought then, that romance was "I really like this person and I want to be friends", and I experience that a lot, so I believed I could not be aro.) My friends asked me several times if I was aromantic from 2015-2018, but I still did not understand what it was and I wanted to be "normal", so I refused to consider it. In 2018 a friend ca
  14. Another early sign that made me laugh today: I was reading an old story I wrote, in which one character falls in love with another. The female character was, in a way, intended to be an alter-ego of me. These are some passages (translated into English, I am sorry if it sounds strange): "- Is it true, she said, that you love me? He barely heard himself answer: - It is true. - You will have to teach me to love you back, she said." "So many days, he thought about her, he hoped to see her again; for a long time, he listened to his heart beat, knowing that it
  15. Hahaha, I had the same thought! I never imagined my wedding, except when other people asked me, then I came up with random ideas (lanterns sound nice as decoration, right?). Once, I applied for a writing job and the recruiter asked me to write an article about "romantic ideas for weddings in winter". My immediate thought was "why do you expect me to know what on Earth is romantic??" - and I didn't even know I was aro then. But I think there are many other life milestones that can be celebrated with a big party like a wedding Maybe not as extravagant or expensive, but n
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