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About aepaex

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  • Name
    Apex Altra
  • Orientation
    Aro, ficto
  • Gender
    Cis woman
  • Pronouns
  • Location
    US - East Coast

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  1. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with either monogamy or nonmonogamy. Different things work for different people, both can be healthy or unhealthy, etc etc. I have very little relationship experience so I can't say for sure which I'd prefer, but I've entertained the idea of both and am open to both. Usually when I think about being in a relationship though, it's a monogamous one. Forming strong bonds is rare for me, and can take a long time, so it's unlikely that it would happen with multiple people at once. I've also had jealousy issues in the past and there's a chance that would hinder me being in a polyam setup. I also don't feel the need to have more than one partner. But, certain aspects of nonmonogamy are appealing to me. I like the concept of loving and being affectionate with multiple people, and it also seems like it'd be less pressure on me. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't entertained the idea of being someone's second/secondary partner because it might be the most likely way for me to find a QPR.
  2. Also not an expert, but it sounds like you've already brought up the idea to her and she sounds unsure? If it's something that both of you want to look into more, maybe go through a list of things commonly found in relationships (e.g., "holding hands", "saying 'I love you'", "getting married") and rate how important each item is to you, then compare. This way you can see how similar your needs/wants in a relationship are without necessarily labelling anything as romantic or platonic. Also maybe ask her to describe what she means by "cookie-cutter romantic relationship". Does she want someone to be in love with her romantically, or just want to do a lot of romance-coded things like go on fancy dates? You may both find that you'd be pretty compatible in a QPR (or a mixed QP-romantic relationship). But it's also possible that her needs are different than yours and that a "more"-than-friends relationship wouldn't work out. It sounds like you care a lot about her and maybe have a squish on her. It doesn't sound like you're in love though.
  3. Agreed with the above. I think a merge with AVEN should only happen if there are no alternatives. I think it's nice that Arocalypse would keep it's own "space"/rules/etc. but I'd really rather it not be a sister site to AVEN, since aromanticism is still treated like a sub-category of asexuality by a lot of people.
  4. You Are 20% Conservative, 80% Liberal Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal
  5. I like hot showers, or lukewarm/cool if it's hot out. I tried taking cool showers regularly for a bit and liked it, but switched back to hot eventually lol.
  6. I think it would be nice to be married one day, but right now it's not a need or anything. Kids are much more iffy. With the right person, maybe 10 years or so from now, I can see myself adopting an older child (like over 7 years old). But it's unlikely.
  7. Welcome! Your icon (with the cat) is really cute šŸ˜
  8. Welcome! I hope that you find more acceptance here You mentioned being a cat lover- do you own any?
  9. I have limited experience due to a general lack of attraction. Tried Tinder and such a few times but decided to stop, because hookups aren't very satisfying and everyone seemed so fake (not their fault; it's hard to not look fake given the design of dating apps/sites IMO). I agree with what others have said about hookup culture; being allo-aro doesn't make it easier or more desirable for me. Especially when the other party isn't aro. Even when I've communicated my lack of attraction, there's still a lingering sense of unease. Ideally I would like a close FWB or sexual QPP. Someone that I can grow close to outside of the bedroom, in a relationship where there's mutual understanding and comfort. I can still see myself having one night stands in the future but it'd have to be under the right conditions. I don't think I'll be looking for them specifically any time soon.
  10. aepaex


    Welcome It's perfectly fine to call yourself aro now; it's difficult for anyone to be 100% sure of their identity, we can't see into the future.
  11. I would like to be in a committed relationship, maybe one that people see as romantic from the outside, but it wouldn't necessarily have to be romantic. The fantasy of being in a romantic relationship is nice but I don't know if I could handle it IRL. I'd feel super guilty about not being able to reciprocate my partner's feelings, and I'd probably feel pressured. I'm still open to the idea, but it'd have to be with the right person who really understood my aro-ness.
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