Sababylon

It's definitely a possibility for me, I've always been comfortable with polyamory as an idea, but my partner was not. My FWB had some other casual partners I learned of as I started to lean into the relationship, and I was genuinely happy for her. As I try to get back into a casual dating life I think I'll explore those kinds of connections more, they definitely brought me the most fulfillment, even if they had (for me) shorter lifespans.

My name is Sabastian and I recently realized I was Aro. It took me some time to come to this conclusion, though. I spent two years in a committed relationship in my early twenties. I fell into it after a brief FWB situation with another friend, which had complexities of its own but I was still quite important for me at the time. But when I entered into the CR, I thought I was in love and agreed to monogamy with my partner. I didn't have any other lens at the time to frame my feelings with, and my powerful sexual attraction combined with a laundry list of platonic attractions had to be romantic love, right? It certainly checked a lot of the boxes. Within a year I was noticing I was still sexually and platonically attracted to others, but I was no less attracted to my partner, who was in many ways also my best friend. I felt weirdly guilty, even though I knew in my heart these attractions did nothing to undercut what I felt for my partner. I felt like I should have felt guilty, cuz that's what romantic love was supposed to mean, but I didn't; instead, what I felt was a confused guilt for not inherently feeling guilty for being attracted to other people. Simple, right? Eventually, we split. After that I avoided dating proper. I realized, to some degree, that everything I gained from my relationship could be gained without one. I kept telling myself that it just meant I wasn't "in the right place" to date or fall in love, but this just made me feel vaguely inadequate; I felt that, since I wasn't "ready," something must have been wrong with me, even though I felt otherwise very confident and comfortable with myself. I first heard about aromanticism, as a defined concept, in Bojack Horseman at Todd's ace meet up at the beginning of season 4. "Not every asexual is aromantic," or something to that effect. This struck a serious cord with me, but I couldn't put my finger on it, since I wasn't asexual myself. It took me until very recently to understand aro as a distinct orientation separate from sexual orientation. When I did and I looked at myself in that light it felt so comfortable and right. I no longer felt like I had to "fix" myself to be ready for love, and I no longer felt weird or insecure trying to find something in sexual and platonic relationships that just never resonated with me to begin with. I finally make sense to myself.