I am top only (not into sucking penis' although tried three times for ones I felt like sucking at the time out of curiosity but didn't really care much for it) so yes, if they suck me off, and/or bottom for me, it does "satisfy" me. If I am honest, I have never really been bothered about them getting off even if they are hot, it is more about me getting off through them (as I would rather have sex than wank alone). Then once they leave, I don't usually feel anything emotionally and just move on with my life. If we happened to talk more (which is maybe 30% of guys I bang), and/or I felt more of a 'crush' towards them (which happens very rarely after sex, like 1-2 guys a year maybe), then I keep in touch via whatsapp, but with the sole purpose of banging them again, not because I want to know them on an emotional level if that makes sense. If it does become more "emotional/in depth", i.e. we discuss more personal stuff with eachother, then I 'friend zone' them in my brain and truly don't want sex with them anymore, but am happy to have a good meaningful friendship and value them that way. As most of guys never really return, I don't really have a 'sexual friendship' example but I'm not sure anymore if I can even have that type of relationship (see below).
I guess for a while I have been trying to 'force' myself to emotionally connect then sleep with someone (or sleep with someone, then emotionally connect, then sleep again with them) because it seems like the 'right thing to do' and I keep reading stuff like 'sex is better when you emotionally connect' or stuff like that. I don't want to miss out hence I've been trying, but it is not really working. That is why I went on a hunt to understand why.
I therefore went to counselling and a relationship coach to understand why very few guys return for round 2, we tried looking through conversations and texts and examples but even the counsellor and relationship coach was stumped why someone wouldn't want to date me or at least bang again (I literally have people messaging me straight after sex saying that was hot lets definitely meet again etc). I then started to think maybe it is me who is 'unavailable' beyond sex and that may come off when I am meeting/banging them (some of the guys said it felt like they were being 'raped' because I bang them like we are in some porn video or something lol - I think it was a compliment lol). This is also why I only use apps to meet guys - because they 'consent' to the sex, I feel safer then it is just that, and I can choose who I like because I'll see them naked beforehand... I've been to clubs and stuff and I just don't feel anything for anyone (sure, there are hot guys, but I want to see more first lol). Anyhow, I was starting to feel the pressure of why I never had a bf or anything so far in my life, but after researching this sexuality type, it may just be because I don't actually want one, and that is okay. Obviously, I didn't see it as 'normal' before, hence the counselling. I also went to a sex therapist, as I felt like I was overly focused on sex with guys, she said I'm not addicted or anything - as I also came off apps for 6 months and was fine with no sex (although, I did feel more lonely in general). That said, sex doesn't 'solve' loneliness, a long conversation with a close friend does though.
I also watch straight and gay porn - again no real romantic attraction to anyone in the movies - more interested in what they are doing, or the guy's physique and how I want to work harder in the gym to look like that. There are of course hot guys in porn I would like to bang if they were wanting to also (e.g. I see them sometimes as escorts, and message them with my pic, and a few times we have played free / for fun), but I have no 'obsession' over it nor any interest in sitting and eating spaghetti with them over a candle light dinner.
I guess where I am struggling is, if this setup continues, I basically end up 'alone' with a string of meaningless sexual encounters. In this case, I'm better off investing in (straight) friendships that last (as my straight friendships seem to last well), perhaps getting a dog that I always wanted, and just stay fit and good looking to keep banging until I die lol. But it kinda sucks also as I have FOMO. I also want to go somewhere with someone and bang them during a holiday... ok there you go again the banging... but its just how I think.
[One example: I met this guy on Grindr, he was also top only, came over to blow me, ended up in some "intense" sex, and I topped him on his request lol. I wanted to bang him again, so kept the flirty messages up, he did come over again, but then because he is 'normal gay' he pushed for a 'date then sex' setup the second time. I just wanted to bone him but played along, but man that dinner was weird. Because of the lag between both meets, we got talking about various other topics, and I started seeing him more as a 'bro' than a 'hoe' lol. Therefore the second time I just couldn't cum (or maybe I was stressed idk). I actually just wanted to chat with him for 3 hours instead about life. We then met again, he would randomly kiss me or something, it felt weird, as we were not also labelled as bf's. I then just asked him, he then pulled back blaming me for overthinking etc, so we agreed to remain friends. Chat continued back/forth (we then lived in different countries), again my feelings as a friend for him didn't change, it was nice to talk to him about all the guys I was banging for example, this year he seems to have misinterpreted my messages as a desire for a relationship vs confusion over why his communication dropped and then he broke it off. I felt really bad, not because I couldn't bang him again, but because I felt the loss of a friend and/or someone who knows/accepts me for the way I am. But to me that was a solid friendship for whatever time it lasted, but I'm not therefore sure the strong friendship + sexual connection setup will ever work for me.]