Hello all! I just stumbled across this group a few days ago, it’s been a delight to read everyone’s posts and comments! So I thought I would dive in and introduce myself.
Im in my early 30s, cis male, aromantic, and polyamorous/a relationship anarchist. I started identifying as polyamorous about 5 years ago and aromantic about 2.5 years ago. It’s been incredibly liberating to say the least!
I enjoy dating and connecting with people and am pretty extroverted. I find equal value in relationships that are sexual, relationships that are perhaps emotionally intimate, and relationships that are platonic. I feel love often and get squishes on people I admire but I do not feel romantic love or romantic attachment. The love I feel for platonic friends and companiony friends is the same love that I feel for sexual friends or sexual partners I date.
I reject the single/in a relationship binary and just feel like... well... I have relationships with people of all sorts who add value to my life. I don’t seek to share my life with a single person. But I enjoy ways that my life can meaningfully intersect with others’ lives.
I can do “romantic things” with people... handholding, kissing, cuddling, dinner dates, etc. and get great joy from them. But I experience these things very much as in-the-moment forms of expression and as ways of giving and receiving pleasure rather than signifiers of a relationship type.
These days, I feel incredibly lucky for all of these identities. In a way, I feel like it’s almost like a secret weapon, haha. I almost never feel sexual or romantic jealousy or unpleasant longings. I never have to exert the energy that many monogamous romantic couples exert in...working things out, negotiating things, etc. My partners/people and I build our relationships around our overlapping commonalities, interests, and wants. Our differences are qualities we can enjoy separately with others or alone. This perspective has made it incredibly easy to appreciate people for who they are.
I feel like I have so much extra time and energy to enjoy music and art, to study, to achieve things professionally, to exercise, to participate in my local community, etc as I’m not weighed down by the day-to-day of a romantic relationship.
If there were any downsides, it can be more challenging to find people who I know can provide lifelong stability as platonic friends. For many monogamous people in romantic relationships, the partner is priorities 1-10. Others are less significant.
Excited to learn more from folks here and find camaraderie with other aromantic people!