cute kitty Meow! Mewo!

I wouldn't "recommend it" like if they asked directly, hey aro person, is it gonna work out if I date this other aro person? then I'd say, it's up to the individual, worth asking them if they're up to it. but generally speaking I'd expect any mixed relationship to be difficult and wouldn't go out of my way to recommend asking someone out.

oh yeah there were definitely times when someone leaned in for a kiss and I turned my cheek or even put up my hands out of surprise actually when I was a teen I totally knew that I didn't give anything about dating. I was like, eh, maybe in five years or so I might start lookin but right now. I'm just not into that scene. not my thing.

muhaha

get her out of your life. she isn't your friend if she treats you like that. tell her goodbye and walk away from her.

I like how kissing feels against my lips. they're sensitive in a nice way. but I'm uncomfortable with the romantic implications

yes, agreed. there is just, a difference between deciding dating is a good idea, and having your intuition inevitably draw you towards romance. Not saying that someone who lacks attraction towards individuals could be a romantic person, just that if such an aromantic person is, in actuality, drawn towards specifically romantic dating as opposed to friendship-dating or sees their qpr in a romantic light, it would be more appropriate for them to acknowledge they have romantic feelings, and ID as grey, rather than deny themselves of who they are. I guess that, I'm trying to make grey more popular, hehe, shoot me I'm a rebel.

romantic lyrics in songs almost always make my stomach turn. I'm uncomfortable with the ily phrase 'cause of romance repulsion a lot of movies i dislike if they're romantic. altho, movies about two people in a romantic relationship I am fine with, as they are often more focused on other things. such as jenny's wedding, which is definitely a coming out story before anything else.

also, being drawn towards romantic activity is, in fact, feeling attracted towards romance, even if no attraction is felt towards any individual. such a person would likely be greyromantic or cupioromantic. typically speaking I would in fact discourage a person who wants to date, and id's as aromantic, from just assuming nothing's up. especially someone younger than 23. While dating doesn't have to be a romantic activity, wanting to date is in fact a flag for possible romantic feelings. calling a hangout "Date" has implications, inevitably. an aromantic person would typically prefer to avoid calling it a date, just for the sake of clarity. someone who wants to date should at least be aware and open enough that if suddenly they feel strong romantic feelings, it won't hit them as a shock. an aromantic can date, and can enjoy dating, and can want to date, but typically an aromantic person prefers to think of it as friends hanging out, as dating tends to imply an interest in establishing some kind of beyond-friendship relationship. (do note that queerplatonic/companionate relationships are aromantic relationships that are beyond-friendship) (and also, to agree with what mark mentioned, for example, an aromantic but sexual person could want to date for nonromantic intentions.)

receiving compliments usually just leaves me feeling self-conscious and guilty. unless there's obvious practical reasons for it, like "there that was a good right turn, try to do that more often and you've got it down pat" or if it's from a close friend or squish although even then, excessive flattery starts to annoy me and feel too intimate.

when you subconsciously keep looking up as a certain person keeps walking past you, and then because you're looking at them often they start looking your way frequently, and you're worried you've accidentally initiated eye-flirts with someone, so make sure to not look up when they pass, and after a few times they stop paying any attention to you whatsoever. phew!

well, there is something that most people experience, that some days they feel more gendered and other days less gendered. or whatever. maybe saying feel more gendered isn't the universal way of describing feeling shame, or something, over a gender-related attribute or expectation. if a cis woman one day, didn't feel woman enough, would that be gender dysphoria? it wouldn't be the extent to which gender dysphoria can be painful, sure. but is it not still dysphoria regarding gender? I would say that any man who's question his manhood and any woman who hasn't felt pretty enough has felt a small level of gender dysphoria. what about a woman who feels like she's not noticed because of her gender? and wishes she were a dude just so that she could be successful. couldn't you even say that a man who wants to look pretty, but feels like he can't because he's a dude, has experienced gender dysphoria, even though he is a cis dude? I find it hard to imagine a trans person who hasn't experienced gender dysphoria in their life, but when you take a step back and ask what gender dysphoria can be, no it isn't something that is only experienced by trans people.

there are a lot of similarities between all forms of attraction. we're kinda crazy for wanting to seperate it out lol, but by crazy I mean, stressed. it's important to us that the difference matters, so we play it up a lot in order to feel comfortable that we really are the way we say we are. in the end, we don't feel it any different than anyone else, the differences I mean, some of us don't feel sexual attraction, some of us don't feel romantic attraction, but in the end the difference compounds until it reaches our consiousness and awareness and is a dramatic difference. but the emotional story of "see a person" some how leading to "want to see them more"... it's not that different really. it's only different when the difference is a big deal, and then how do you talk about it, if you don't have words that seperate the difference out?

for me, generally speaking, girls are attractive in a different sorta way. they feel kinda magical to look at lol. I'm not talking about aesthetic attraction, though. I can find men and women, either, of great aesthetic appeal to me personally, but when it comes to people being hot for me, personally, it's never guys. when I'm attracted to a person in particular, that's kinda rare, I'm not usually attracted to people specifically. when it's a special person, a crush, (no not lust, ew) it's... it has more parallels to romance tbh, the way it feels, but no it's not romantic at all. (I'm demi romantic) I feel a certain aura of happiness when I'm near a sexual crush, and if I'm not careful, interacting with them, and on occasion even just thinking about them, can lead to arousal and even get into the horny territory it's embarrassing lol. don't really wanna get into more detail than that... seems kind of TMI and personal TBH. I'm pretty sure the way attraction feels for one person is a very individual thing. if someone wants to know if they personally feel attraction of some sort... IDK what to say really. be patient and try to listen inwardly? I think if you have to ask yourself "do I feel sexual attraction at all" the answer is probably that you're grey or ace, and once you get to those low levels or absence of attraction, the question "do I feel it" get soo so much more harder to answer.

I don't get obsession with marriage. I don't get obsession with weddings.

oh, that is true. I don't ever even know really. what if I am secretly romantic but have just managed to convince myself I am not because I actually just fall for everyone on sight. *runs in cricles meowing*

edit 3: er, maybe I should post this as a second post actually... edit: well it's not really like that. idk how to say it really. like, to call them my friend is fine. but if I'm in a situation where someone is asking me about how we relate together, where I would feel a need to say they are a friend, I would not say they are just a friend. I would say they are my companion most likely, or I might say they are my partner. and of course, in the point between them being a new friend and us deciding to be companions, at most points I would say they are just a friend without it being much of a big deal at all, lol. just, that once we sort of sit down and talk and say, hey, let's spend aspects of our life together, like partners sort of, at that point like. I would find it dismissive not to acknowledge them as my partner. edit 2: tbh I feel like I misinterpreted your question, phoenix, sorry... did I answer your inquiry? wait, you aren't asking a question. now I'm really confused.

I just think that it'd be kind of rude to think of this person as just a friend. they would definitely be my partner. but it's just the next level of friendship prettymuch.

the confusing thing for me has often been that, well, I want to be with a person some day. but I really don't understand how that fits into the aromantic deal. and I don't know how I'd even get from where I am to that. I guess that it's more like, I want to have a good or close friend who is also a housemate/roomate? both for the practicality of the benefits of living and vacationing with the same person habitually, and also for the benefits of being good friends with your house mate.

so I have an aromantic friend who drops casually that they date and is going on a date and tbh I don't really have a sense of how they feel about dating. but they also said that they aren't looking for a partner right now, but just know some day they'll be with dudes, which was affirming for me to hear because I feel the same way except regarding chicks. so now because they're all freely dating with no apparent hesitation. I'm being all amatanormative and assuming that they must be secretly romantic and because I feel the same about "knowing" I'll be with a girl some day, I'm secretly romantic too D: although I dislike dating lol. but still. I guess this is just a silly rant where I'm questioning myself a bit, and feel kinda insecure, f' me.

I guess, for me I want a platonic companion who lives with me, more like a partner than a friend. but, for others, someone who is kind of, important as a long-term friend, but who lives apart. A companion/partner/qpr who, well, they have sex together, and probably spend time together as friends too, but they aren't "really" partners. and I'm sure there are many other ways to establish long-term trusting sexual relationships without it being so dedicated on the partnership end of the bargain.

for me I am demiromantic, and greysexual. TBH even though there have been times I've felt attraction... it's never really changed how i felt about relationships. the idea of a partner is something that sounds agreeable to have, but that I also feel no need for, that I can be satisfied and happy on my own. I know you said that you don't like the idea of pairing with a person for the rest of your life, and me on the other hand I'm somewhat tempted by that idea, so we are different there. but for me tbh I felt kind of similar to you, or well at least, I felt frustrated both by the idea of never having sex, but also about the idea of necessarily having sex. both seem kind of... not me, and I can't figure out why. I guess, I just don't feel comfortable committing one way or the other.

when i was a kid my friend had a crush on my other friend. then, my other friend had me over at their place. and i looked at all the toys and felt really excited! and as we played together, i was like, oh, maybe i have a crush on them too! hehe. how silly of me! does college (5 years ago) count as "early signs" since I didn't know till last year? 'cause in college, I kept getting close to friends. then they or their friends would start trying to hint at a romantic relationship between us. and I'd always think, "well if they wanted it, sure, i guess I could date with them. but I thought we were just friends? it's why i like them so much actually! we are just friends, and I know this, so i feel more comfortable around them, unlike peers who try to flirt with me lol!"