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Aslinn

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    Smth-aro
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    Female
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    France

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  1. You're definitely not alone on this! I was in a QPR (or smth like that) involving sex so long ago. It was very confusing at first because it's thanks to him wanting something with me (when he said to me that he liked me it was in a very common way to start a romantic relationship and I think he was expecting one while me I was more like "I want something with u but idk what, help") that I instantly realized that I was definitely not allo lol. I told him about that right away and he has been really considerate and we ended up like that. I don't know if it will be helpful to you, because I don't feel like I would enjoy sex with people I don't trust and I'm not already friends (or close) with. However, I'm also sad to lose that and I'm afraid it will be hard to find someone like that again. I want an emotional closeness that can be very hard for an allo to give to someone they're not romantically involved with. If you're "just" interested in sex, I think that it will be easier to find though. I'm saying all this just to point out that: it's possible. You just have to be very clear about what you want from the start. Lots of people, surely some around you, are looking for casual relationships, it's just hard to know that they are if you don't have this kind of topic comes up in conversations (and bringing it up might be the hardest part honestly). You also have to be ready to let them go when they find a new romantic partner (at least if the relationship is only sexual). Tinder-like apps might be very bad for you if you take things too personaly. I never tried them but it seems like people tends to be very picky and not patient. You just have to keep that in mind and it should be alright. As for meeting someone, I think that past a certain amount of time (2 years is definitely enough), it should be totally safe. Plus, for at least the first time you can meet somewhere crowded like a café. Of course you have to stay cautious at first but it's not THAT dangerous given the circumstances. Also, meeting friends of friends is a really good idea. (and I'm French, sorry for the grammar)
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