Carasel

I guess I've been confused because a lot of the stuff out there basically says that aromantic people don't get crushes and I've always had crushes. Crushes are the reason behind 80% of the stupid decisions I made in my early twenties. (And I made a lot of stupid decisions.) I suppose you could call them limerent crushes. Though it's quite odd to realise that the feelings I have for people I care about aren't the same as romantic love. That other people have this whole other feeling I was completely unaware of. I'd always assumed that romantic relationships were basically friends with benefits, only more dramatic. It's probably telling that I have always been more affectionate with my friends than my boyfriends. My mates and I are comfortable showing our friendship in physical ways, I hold hands with female friends, but I always feel weird about PDAs with someone I'm "dating". Do other people feel that same way?

Hi, basically I dont know if I'm weird, normal, or somewhere in the middle. Im a 32 year old gay man and I have no real desire for a romantic relationship. I don't have a burning desire for companionship, and the few relationships I've had have basically floundered because my boyfriend always felt more for me than I did for him. At the same time - I absolutely get crushes. As a teenager I was constantly crushing on boys, along with sportsmen (my version of a boyband crush I guess). Even as an adult I get extremely strong crushes. Usually the imagined perfect outcome of these crushes was having sex with the guy I was crushing on. However the most recent one - which absolutely floored me with its intensity - I just wanted him to notice me. I wanted him to want me around, to want me as a friend. So I really don't know where I sit. I don't know if there's a really pressing need to figure out if I'm aromantic or what, but I don't want to keep getting into relationships that end with him waiting for me to say "I love you" and me, well, not.