Hi, basically I dont know if I'm weird, normal, or somewhere in the middle.
Im a 32 year old gay man and I have no real desire for a romantic relationship. I don't have a burning desire for companionship, and the few relationships I've had have basically floundered because my boyfriend always felt more for me than I did for him.
At the same time - I absolutely get crushes. As a teenager I was constantly crushing on boys, along with sportsmen (my version of a boyband crush I guess). Even as an adult I get extremely strong crushes. Usually the imagined perfect outcome of these crushes was having sex with the guy I was crushing on. However the most recent one - which absolutely floored me with its intensity - I just wanted him to notice me. I wanted him to want me around, to want me as a friend.
So I really don't know where I sit. I don't know if there's a really pressing need to figure out if I'm aromantic or what, but I don't want to keep getting into relationships that end with him waiting for me to say "I love you" and me, well, not.