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Everything posted by Philotes

  1. The other day I was drinking coffee with a friend in a cute coffee bar. The waiter served our coffee and after he left my friend said 'I just fell a little bit in love with him'. I was so confused. The entire conversation my friend had with the waiter was 'one cappuccino please' and 'thank you'...? Another example is that I never noticed if my friends were in love (like actual in love love, not 2 word exchange in love) and then at sleepovers or something they would tell about how they felt about their crush and my other friends would always say 'I knew it! I could already see it'. It was weird for me bc I am very sensitive and will always know how my friends feel, except for when they're in love. This is probably bc I do not feel romantic love and just don't 'receive' this information.
  2. I have had the same as you, but with a guy. I was also always in awe of how beautiful he was (he is still the most gorgeous person I have ever laid eyes on) and I enjoyed being around him. I am still questioning my romatic orientation but I think I am lithromantic, which could explain the maybe crush I had on this guy. I dont know where you are on the spectrum, but perhaps lithromantic could explain your feelings.
  3. I was recently watching Isn't it romantic and I loved the movie! Except for the last 15 minutes or so... The movie makes fun of society's obsession with romance and rom-coms in general and a big part of the plot is that the main character realizes that she should just love herself, which is a great message. But in the last 15 minutes of the movie she realizes that wow she has been in love with her best friend for a very long time and wow now she can finally be completely happy 🙄. So it's a great movie if you ignore the last 15 minutes.
  4. Hi and welcome to Arocalypse! I'm sorry to hear that you are afraid to tak about being aro and that you are afraid you will never find a relationship. I hope that Arocalypse can help you to feel more comfortable and that you make some new friends 💚
  5. @Cheerio Thank you for the suggestion and explanation! I might try it out, but I'm not sure yet...
  6. @Cheerio what is your experience with Bumble regarding the indication of what kind of relationship you are looking for? Do you only match with people that have the same setting? And do people actually stick to what they indicate?
  7. I am out to my sister, her response was "you should just try dating" and that did not really encourage me to come out to my parents. My parents are starting to push me to tell them about my love life, probably because they feel like I am getting to old to not have a relationship (I'm 20 but yeah that's my parents vision of the world I guess). Which does bother me, but I do not think I will ever come out to my parents on my own. They will probably want to have a conversation with me about why I am still single when I'm around 25 and maybe I will tell them then. I am out to my 2 best friends and they are really supportive, so I also don't really feel the pressure to come out to my parents so that I will have someone to talk to. I'd say that if you don't feel the need to come out, don't. Because as you said, explaining aromanticism might be more complicated than dealing with the lovelife questions.
  8. "Oh, so you just want to live with 15 cats when you're older?" Well that does sound lovely "You have to date before you can be sure" I didn't sleep with a man and a woman and yet you still immediately believed me when I told you I am bisexual "By the age of 30 you will start to wonder what's wrong with you" I already went through that process and I came to the conclusion that nothing is wrong with me And of course the "you just have commitment issues"
  9. Hi fellow European I feel the exact same. I hope you can find some answers on here 💚
  10. Hi! It is great that you feel relieved and that you are able to come to terms with being aroace! I hope you have a great time on Arocalypse
  11. Sometimes I still imagine what a relationship would be like and I recently realized that whenever I am imagining myself in a relatioship it is always sort of performative (if that makes sense). As in, I always imagine what it would look like to other people and never how the relationship would feel for me. 

  12. I would prefer to live alone, maybe with a few pets. I live with one other adult right now and we share living space but we do have our seperate bedrooms. My roommate (housemate..?) was on a 2 month holiday earlier this year and I loved being completely on my own. I like having social contact, but it does have to be on my terms and that is not really achievable when you live in one house.
  13. I recently met someone and we get along rather well, apart from the fact that she is so frickin romance oriented. She is always looking for a relationship and is somehow always in love. 


    About a week ago we were playing 'would you rather' with a couple of friends (including her) and I got the question 'would you rather never have sex again or would you rather never find true love?'. Well for my aromantic bisexual (and virgin but hey I really want to have sex) ass that was an easy answer, but she then gave me a 30 min lecture about why true love was the best thing in the entire world and that it was incredibly sad that I would pick something as horrible as sex over the amazing concept of true romantic love. I am still annoyed by it

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. NotHeartless


      I'm glad your other friend supported you! That's a real friend right there - at least that's a positive aspect of the situation.

    3. Philotes



      That's a real friend right there 

      Yes exactly! She is really great and supports me no matter what 😊

    4. The Angel of Eternity

      The Angel of Eternity

      If someone asked me that question, I'd simply say "neither"!

    5. Show next comments  3 more
  14. Same here I tried the app Hinge but it just freaked me out bc the people I matched with were looking for a romantic relationship and I obviously am not. I am now hoping that I will become friends with someone who is open to a friends with benefits kinda thing but so far that hasnt really worked out either...
  15. Hi everyone, I joined this forum a couple weeks back, but I have only now gotten around to writing an introduction. I am 20 years old and from the Netherlands (who would have guessed from the title). About a year ago I discoverd the wonderful term 'aromantic' and ever since I have been trying to figure out what my specific identity is (I think lithro). Figuring out my identity has been a bumpy ride but hopefully this forum can help me become more confident in my orientation. I started thinking about being aromantic when I was asked on a date by a colleague. At first I was excited (I would finally also have a relationship like I'm supposed to), but after maybe 5 hours I started freaking out and everything in me did absolutely not want to go on that date. I did not go on the date in the end, which lead to a lot of awkward tension between me and my colleague and everyone feeling sorry for him. I felt like something was wrong with me and I vaguely remembered reading something about aromanticism on tumblr, so I looked that up and everything clicked. It was really great to discover that I am not alone and not broken. Looking back, all the clues where there but the term was missing. I have been blessed with a very understanding best friend who has supported me and listened to me, but as an alloro she does not really understand how I feel. I am really glad to know that I am not alone and I cannot wait to interact with people who understand me! Have a great day / evening / night 💚
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