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Philotes

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Status Updates posted by Philotes

  1. Philotes

    I recently met someone and we get along rather well, apart from the fact that she is so frickin romance oriented. She is always looking for a relationship and is somehow always in love. 

     

    About a week ago we were playing 'would you rather' with a couple of friends (including her) and I got the question 'would you rather never have sex again or would you rather never find true love?'. Well for my aromantic bisexual (and virgin but hey I really want to have sex) ass that was an easy answer, but she then gave me a 30 min lecture about why true love was the best thing in the entire world and that it was incredibly sad that I would pick something as horrible as sex over the amazing concept of true romantic love. I am still annoyed by it

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. NotHeartless

      NotHeartless

      I'm glad your other friend supported you! That's a real friend right there - at least that's a positive aspect of the situation.

    3. Philotes

      Philotes

      Quote

      That's a real friend right there 

      Yes exactly! She is really great and supports me no matter what ?

    4. The Angel of Eternity

      The Angel of Eternity

      If someone asked me that question, I'd simply say "neither"!

  2. Philotes

    Sometimes I still imagine what a relationship would be like and I recently realized that whenever I am imagining myself in a relatioship it is always sort of performative (if that makes sense). As in, I always imagine what it would look like to other people and never how the relationship would feel for me. 

  3. Philotes

    Whenever I have a conversation about aromanticism with one of the friends I am out to, she always says that many people from our generation (millennials) do not have a partner and that I am thus not that different from everyone else. Apart from the fact that it is not true, I get that she just wants to make sure that I do not feel like I am weird but it feels so incredibly invalidating everytime she says it. It feels like she just completely disregards the struggles I have had (and still) have when it comes to accepting my aroness. 

    1. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      have you told her this?  it's possible she doesn't understand the difference between the reasons some others don't have/want a partner and the reason you don't (your orientation).  i understand why it would bother you.  i had someone emphatically tell me how lucky i was to be aro since i would thus avoid romantic heartbreak and drama, and while i do, it's not that simple, and i felt it wasn't their place to make that comment.  i would suggest making your feelings known.

    2. Philotes

      Philotes

      No I haven't told her, but you are right and I should tell her. I guess I am worried that I might lose her support if I explain the difference to her. This is probably an irrantional fear because she is really supportive of everyone's orientation but it still plays a part... 

    3. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      i get it, i was so nervous to come out to the people who really matter to me, even though i knew they'd be supportive.  it does sound like your friend wants to be.  good luck.

  4. Philotes

    My roommate's boyfriend bought her flowers for valentine's day which is cute and all but I am having an allergic reaction to them. What an aro mood

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