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Philotes

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    Philotes
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    She/her

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  1. Philotes

    Whenever I have a conversation about aromanticism with one of the friends I am out to, she always says that many people from our generation (millennials) do not have a partner and that I am thus not that different from everyone else. Apart from the fact that it is not true, I get that she just wants to make sure that I do not feel like I am weird but it feels so incredibly invalidating everytime she says it. It feels like she just completely disregards the struggles I have had (and still) have when it comes to accepting my aroness. 

    1. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      have you told her this?  it's possible she doesn't understand the difference between the reasons some others don't have/want a partner and the reason you don't (your orientation).  i understand why it would bother you.  i had someone emphatically tell me how lucky i was to be aro since i would thus avoid romantic heartbreak and drama, and while i do, it's not that simple, and i felt it wasn't their place to make that comment.  i would suggest making your feelings known.

    2. Philotes

      Philotes

      No I haven't told her, but you are right and I should tell her. I guess I am worried that I might lose her support if I explain the difference to her. This is probably an irrantional fear because she is really supportive of everyone's orientation but it still plays a part... 

    3. aro_elise

      aro_elise

      i get it, i was so nervous to come out to the people who really matter to me, even though i knew they'd be supportive.  it does sound like your friend wants to be.  good luck.

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