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Ace Of Hugs

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Everything posted by Ace Of Hugs

  1. I'm glad you've found it thought-provoking... I am quite interested in hearing the perspective of folks of different genders, cultures, and orientations.
  2. There is a concept I came across several years ago that I truly believe has had a large effect on my psyche, not just in terms of orientation, but also some of my other emotional issues. That concept is called "touch hunger" (also known as "skin hunger", but I will be speaking more on that below). In brief, it refers to the idea that human beings require a certain amount of affectionate touch in order to thrive… and in the West, they aren't always getting it. Oh, when a baby is born, in most cultures, it spends much of its time in close proximity to its mother. And, for the fi
  3. Not that I'm aware of, although I've occasionally wondered if they are the same thing, merely expressed in different ways. Vision & touch are both senses, after all. I will say, however, that my aesthetic attraction seems more specialized than my sensual one... it's more of a question of taste/preference than something fundamental (And it may also tie into some other personal issues I'd rather not go into)
  4. Well, there are two other orientations I occasionally use: Aesthetic & Sensual. And there's also the whole "oriented/angled" qualifier, but I'm not sure if that's something to add to an existing box or put in a new one. How would you record "oriented aroace" in the current system?
  5. I don't fear loneliness... I accept it. Not having a steady relationship of any stripe means that my only Real Life social contact is the occasional movie with friends. So yes, I do get lonely sometimes.... Then again, 30 is quite a ways behind me now, so the dynamic is different.
  6. I had one once (under an unrelated name) and I may have even ranted there about it. But I shut it down a good 5-6 years ago due to lack of traffic. I could start a new topic later today, if there's interest... where do you think it would be most suitable (as it's not exactly on-topic)?
  7. I have a fairly long rant about "touch hunger" (a.k.a. "skin hunger") but I don't want to derail your thread. Absolutely. What's acceptable to women in terms of friendly touch is practically verboten to men. I can't speak of other genders, but I'm curious.
  8. That's definitely an issue with me and my fondness/need for affectionate physical contact. It's almost impossible to hug a non-relative without it being interpreted romantically/sexually, especially someone of the opposite gender. And, of course, amongst my (apparent) peer group, hugs between males are often interpreted negatively. It's definitely at least partly cultural, since amongst my Italian cousins, public affection between friends is socially acceptable (if approached more like rough-housing than anything else), and I've heard before of a Korean concept called "skinship"
  9. Only to the degree that it was expected of me by society in general (and my mother in specific ). Frankly, I've never seen the point.
  10. I was using the latter definition of platonic. I am perfectly willing to use a more appropriate term form "non-sexual/romantic, but still physically affectionate" relationships, if one exists. I agree that it's not a perfect model, but it's the best one I have (so far) for describing what I experience. I suppose that the loyalty I feel towards my friends (which is labeled as commitment) would skew things more in a QPR direction.... gah, now I'm not sure. I think what's throwing me is that my relationships with my male & female friends have been very simil
  11. Well, I'm assuming you've already made your way through Alfred Hitchcock (the grand master of psychological horror), so I'll suggest Silence of the Lambs. You can skip the sequel & prequel, though.
  12. As I understand it, QPRs tend to be higher in commitment than what I'm talking about. My friendships tend to be more "friends with (non-sexual) benefits"
  13. Romance-indifferent is probably the closest, but I would be more likely to describe myself as "romance-confused".
  14. Where would "really affectionate platonic friendships" fit? (If you're familiar with the "triangle theory of love", my close relationships tend to be "companionate".)
  15. I suppose? I'm pretty introverted, so I've tended to only have 1-2 close friends at any one time. And I've never felt the inclination to have sex with any of tem (Hug them, yes, especially when I was younger. But we covered that. )
  16. Honestly, I'm not sure if this is the right forum for me, because I tend not to fit into simple categories, and that's made it very difficult to actually identify with any one group. Basically, this is known: I'm a 50-year old touch-starved male (both by birth and gender preference) of Italian-American descent. This is probable, but undiagnosed due to familial obligations: I have wrestled with mild anxiety and bipolar disorder my entire life, as well as some sensory sensitivities. And I strongly suspect I'm on the spectrum somewhere. This is where it ge
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