IntrovertedSoul19

I don't. There is some pressure to date just to get ''experience'' so people will lay off. But ultimately I think it's like having a beard. How gay people sometimes use someone as their beard even though they know they aren't into them? I understand their reasons for dating someone as a beard but it's kind of selfish. It feels like if I were to do that I would be withholding that person from something I cannot give them. They deserve someone who's feelings and requirements matches theirs. I don't want to use somebody just because of the pressure to date. I'd rather take the judgemental comments about never having been in a relationship than use another person.

This is really good I’m going to use this. I think it’s annoying to suppress my clothing styles too so I just don’t and let people assume. Though sometimes I do find it annoying and it will make me feel less confident in my style. This is actually funny! This girl was flirting with me my first year of college and I had no idea because same sex you think they’re just friendly. And when I realized what she was doing I felt uncomfortable and just started avoiding her. Explaining you’re asexual to people they could understand but aromantic I really don’t think so. So I kind of leave them with no explanation. THIS!!! I told one of my friends I was aromantic a year ago and I explained it to her everything and sent pictures of memes of it. And she sometimes makes gay jokes and I can tell she watches for my reaction. I find it annoying that she thinks I’m closested when I already explained to her what I am so it kind of makes me feel angry. When someone thinks you’re hiding something and you have to put MORE effort into showing you’re really not it’s just so exhausting and makes you act as if someone who’s closested proving they aren’t gay. Nobody would believe you can’t be romantically attracted to anyone and that’s what makes it hard. Because I’m just not giving them an answer and if I do they’ll think I’m either closested still or crazy. You can’t win @Spacenik86 this is so true all those stereotypes. I don’t think people will ever truly understand not even I do. I just know that this is my nature and this is how I function and work. I can understand romantic attraction from what I’ve seen on movies or around me but I can’t FEEL it for another person. The desire to kiss I don’t have. Liking someone platonically but not romantically. I wish people would stop trying to put peoples in boxes and stereotypes and just try and understand that everyone is different. Different strokes for different folks

I read it last night thank you. I’ve read into stoicism and like the philosophy

@nonmerci I’ve actually hinted that I’m asexual (to my college friends not my family) because I know that being asexual is more understood and has more awareness. But I also don’t have crushes and I know aromanticism isn’t as close to being popular among average people and they wouldn’t understand. Even for other people like my moms friend or people who barely know me I don’t want want to explain myself to them. I don’t think I owe people who aren’t in my life a run down explanation of my aromanticism and asexuality. And wooow lol I guess I just found the answer. My closest friends know about me being aro ace so it’s no big deal. But with new friends it’s a sensitive topic and I don’t know what they’ll understand about being a romantic and not having romantic attraction without viewing me as someone’s who’s weird. Have you told your family? @NullVector thank you a lot. What you said reminded me I can’t control what people think of me based on incomplete information. I just find it dumb how based on how I dress people want to assume I’m gay and make awkward ineudnos about it I’m just like?? I’m not gay, you’re just making me feel uncomfortable by assuming I’m gay. But they interpret that uncomfortbleness as me being closested! You really can’t win in these situations and I hate it. From now on I’m going to have the mindset that I can’t control what others think about me because it’s impossible and exhausting to even try. So those assumptions will be theirs to carry and not mine

Hi! Its my first post here. Im aro ace and just had something that’s been bothering me and wanted to get advice from you guys. Lately I’ve been stressed out and realizing how I look to other people. I feel very uncomfortable and I think I now understand Shawn mendes’s interview where he said that he alters his behaviour so people don’t assume he’s gay. I’ve never had this problem before. I don’t do any thing that comes off as gay besides I guess not being so feminine or dressing feminine. I’ve never thought how people viewed me or maybe even thought I was lesbian based on the fact I’ve never had a boyfriend or been interested in dating. I didn’t see it like that but now it’s come to my attention and I’m starting to be more aware of what I come off as to people and I hate it. Earlier in the year at college I was meeting my friends new friend. I’m really good at picking up body language and what not. My friends new friend who I had just met (female) asked me “so do you think any of the professors are hot? What’s your type” and I could tell she had probably asked my friend about my sexuality while I went to the bathroom. I knew it was a question to determine who I was into which kind of pissed me off because it was a way to confirm I’m into men or women. I went with it and didn’t let on that I knew what she was doing. I just told her one professor was attractive. I felt bothered for the rest of the day because of it and I don’t sexualize anyone so I felt uncomfortable saying I found that professor attractive. I guess it’s just college and people are horny thinking about that stuff. I don’t like how people are assuming my sexuality and it makes me feel like I’m not being seen. I don’t know why it bothers me if people perceive me to be gay because there’s nothing wrong with it but now it’s starting to bother me how I have to put more effort to be seen as who I am. It stirs anxiety and makes me feel anxious which people then pick up on which then REALLY makes me look like I’m hiding my sexuality. It’s like now if I can sense someone thinks I’m a covert lesbian I start behaving like a covert lesbian by trying to prove I’m not? It feels wrong and me pretending to be straight feels wrong too because I’m not romantically or sexually attracted to any gender. Does anyone else pretend to fit in? How can I stop feeling uncomfortable about people assuming my sexuality and what’s the proper response for when they do?