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Madame Giraffe

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Posts posted by Madame Giraffe

  1. OHMY this topic is so interesting, why it doesn't have enough visibility??

     

    It happened that I aksed some friends what it's like to be in love or having a crush and I find the answers pretty interesting, even if lots don't know how to describe it instead, lol

    Personally, I get confirmations about me being aro reading this kinda thing, 'cause it just freaks me out :'D 

    • Like 1
  2.  

    On 9/22/2019 at 2:40 PM, NotHeartless said:

    Hm, yeah I observed the perception of romance changes from time to time within me. Before learning about aromanticism I was rather positive about romance (provided that it wasn't directed towards me and I always found romantic movies very boring). Now I have times when I'm more repulsed, another time I can feel more neutral again. Once I realized I don't feel romantic feelings myself I stopped pushing myself to feel something I just don't and it changed my perception.
    It's connected to the media I consume, too. Such lyrics as you wrote down can make me shiver sometimes, other times I'm less or not bothered when I really like the melody/beat of the song, etc. However, cheesy romantic comedies or "serious" romance movies make me very repulsed most of the time. It's boredom mixed with a feeling of "ew" for me so I stay away from watching them (there can be exceptions, really depends on the execution).

     

    Yeah it's the same for me! It depends by how the romantic stuff is delivered to me, I really like romantic moments and also I'm moved when characters say "I love you" to others I ship them with, but at the same time I'm repulsed by all those cheese sentences I find on pinterest or by those kind of moments that usually make people goes "aaawww I want that too!!" and I can't stand movies or books that are all-about-romance, ew. 

    • Like 2
  3. On 9/26/2019 at 3:41 AM, TripleA said:

    I'm not sure if the term would apply to me that much; I do remember wanting to be in a relationship with her, but I think I only thought that way because I associated any strong feelings for someone to be a crush and that I would want to date them, even if I didn't really. Maybe the idea of a relationship with her did entertain me somewhat, but I never thought about going through with it, I mean I class romantic attraction as something like "to desire a romantic relationship or to do romantic things with someone". 

     

    This applies to me so much lol

    The few times this happens to me, I usually don't take it as "a crush", 'cause - well - I'm not actually interested in making something about it, I mean, I enjoy the person company, want to share time with them, think about them a lot, maye don't wanting them to be in a relationship with others, but don't ever wanted to do any romantic stuff at all, like i dunno holding hands, kiss, saying romantic stuff or else. I don't feel the need to "make a move", if this means something to you ahahah

    • Like 2
  4. I'm definitely not the right person to make assumptions, but - as an aro - I can tell you that I also lived this:

     

    14 hours ago, someonemaybe said:

    when I was in my first years of teenager all my friends had a lot of crushs in their lifes and I never really had one. I used to think that I was wrong, yk, I needed to have one. So I kind of choose some boys to like

     

    and about your relationship, maybe you gotta ask yourself if what you feel towards him is just deep friendship, or if the problem is only about physical contact (I don't like physical contact either, as in holding hands, hugs, and stuff, but also don't ever imagine myself doing couple stuff with anyone, it just doesn't feel right to me) 

     

    Hope this could be helpful! But in the end I guess it's up to you understand if you're aro, greyaro or else! Reading others' experiences on this site helps a lot, go take a look!

    • Thanks 1
  5. On 8/11/2019 at 10:06 PM, nonmerci said:

    I never think about it (Belle being one of my favorite princess) but yeah, the fact that the Beast can love romantically and someone reciprocate makes him dignified to be turn into a human again? And what if the Beast was aromantic?

    The movie is now ruined for me.

     

    Unexpectedly Beauty and the Beast is one of my favourite Disney movies, 'cause I like to read it as a fairytale about being able to give love to whoever, no matter the form, the look, or even the race and the skin colour, it doesn't bother me that Belle's love is intended as romantic love, I like her 'cause I think she's able to see the beauty in the different ❤️ very lgbtaq+ for me

     

    On 8/11/2019 at 3:56 PM, raavenb2619 said:

    ? yeah I like the Disney Renaissance movies but a bunch of them are love stories that don’t exactly hold up under much scrutiny. (And Beauty and the Beast is definitely the most arophobic)

     

    Yes, thank goodness we also have more modern movies like Mulan or The Emperor's New Groove and we discarged the old annoying true love kiss stuff... 

     

    (talking about disney movies, I always tought that Tiana is on the aro spectrum and her romance is a bit forced)

    • Like 2
  6. 8 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

    I understand that feeling. For me, it tends to be a fear that they won't be as interested in spending time with me if they have a romantic partner, or that they'll be constantly talking about them/engaging in PDA around me (I'm romance repulsed). It's an unpleasant feeling to have, and obviously you should be careful not to be a dick about it, but it's important to know that it's normal and doesn't make you a bad person.

     

    If it's Jotaro Kujo to tell me I'm not a bad person I feel blessed, ahahahaha

    No, seriously, it's hard but it's definitely better not to be a dick about it, even if it's apparently inevitable for them to put us just-friends second place..... gh.

     

    1 hour ago, Cristal Gris said:

    Just know you're not the only one. And you're not horrible for feeling this.

     

    It's a bit different for me, but i get what you mean. I feel it.

    Well, i don't hate that they're in a relationship, I hate that they consider me inferior to their crush. Being left behind, forgotten unless their crush is not around and i am the only one left… How could it leave me indifferent? 

    It would probably be easier without romantic feelings in the way. But would it really? I don't know.

     

    Yeah, I totally get the feeling, it always happens, tsk. Friends < partner

  7. Let's say I've got squishes veeery rarely, but when it happens - as me being a very possessive person, even of friends - I just feel this annoying jealousy towards them and don't want them to be in a romantic relationship with others, even if I know I can't (and don't want to) give them one with me, so I wonder if anybody here ever felt the same? 

    And I mean only I don't want them to have girlfriends, not other friends.

     

    (ohmy this is so selfish, I know and I'm ashamed, but can't stop feel this way, lol)

     

    • Like 6
  8. I discovered what I am is aro reading stuff and others' experiences on this site, like a mindblowing moment where most of the things I read sounded OMG THAT'S SO TRUE, so give it a try :'D And like it was already said: even if later it will happen to you to feel romantic attraction, you'll be able to set yourself confortable in the greyaro label, if you want ('cause never had a romantic attraction in 17 years feels surely not alloromantic to me)

    • Thanks 1
  9. On 8/4/2019 at 4:07 AM, Chemgirl said:

    So I'm fairly new to identifying as alloaromantic and I wanted to ask if it was normal to have squishes on both sexes? Even though I'm only sexually attracted to men, almost all of my squishes have been on women. 

     

    I do think it can be a thing, if it happens to you it can be. 

     

    On 8/7/2019 at 7:02 PM, Emerald Cheetah said:

    Every time I get close to a guy, I start to fear their intentions with me. 

     

    (this is so relatable)

    • Like 1
  10. On 7/19/2019 at 9:26 PM, Kzupir said:

    When I realized I was aromantic, I felt so relieved. Things made sense. Why I never wanted to do romantic things, why I even felt uncomfortable with the prospect of romance associated with me, why I never understood romance in movies, why I confused romance with a deep friendship. 

     

    ^^^ THIS 

    Love the mindblowing moment, lol

  11. Yeah, I do think this is a problem, even now I find myself lacking of someone who could put me first place (not counting my parents), thing that everyone else has or could have in the future, having a partner and stuff. I hate that everyone wants a relationship 'cause this way everyone around me will eventually have one and I'll remain alone, 'cause people put partner before friends all the time, often even before family.

    This is why I'm learning to do everything by myself, ohohohoho

    • Like 5
  12. I definitely feel the same way! Even if - usually - after knowing that I'm aro, people asks me if I'm ace, too..... like, it happened every times.

    Also, I noticed that people seems to be more interested in the absence of sexual attraction, those filthy ones! lol

  13. After discovering I'm aro, I also discovered that lots of things I tought were common were not and also that i don't understand lots of things.

    I mean, like I sincerely thought that two guys I met during an event asked me out 'cause they found me interesting and wanted to become friends... I was told by some friends that it doesn't work that way. 

    Also apparently it's actually a thing that people can fall in love at first sight and also can constantly think of a person or couldn't stay without such person. I had no idea. I thought it was a movie-thing!

     

    On 6/6/2019 at 8:20 AM, running.tally said:

    A problem I face: Constantly being asked out and hit on, even sometimes when I have explained aromanticism and asexuality to those people, because they think that my enthusiastic personality is flirting. Essentially, everything I do being taken romantically and not being believed when I say it's not.

     

    THIS ^^^

    I live in almost constant anxiety every interaction I have with guys, 'cause I'm always afraid they could read my actions and words in the wrong way and NO PLEASE I'M NOT HITTING ON YOU (specially friends, I hate to lose friendships 'cause of this)

    • Like 4
  14. I do think it's possible to be influenced to becoming aro or something else, but I also think it's possible to be born that way, 'cause we live in a society where is given so-very-much importance to romantic love, we're surrounded by romantic love stuff, so much that I myself tried to fit in for a long time, before discovering that being like me could be a thing and also has a name. So yeah, I put "born aro" 'cause I've always lived romantic love in the same conflictual way, I don't remember a time when it was different. 

    • Like 2
  15. On 6/18/2019 at 2:34 PM, Cristal Gris said:

    "are you sure you just didn't meet the right one ? "

     

    Ok this, despite being the number one answer an aro could get, it never occurred to me... til two days ago, when I told my mom (she was talking about some her collegues and how they said they were aro and how amazing women they are, so I took the chance) and among other things, she said that. I rolled my eyes so much.

     

    I also discovered that my granma was aro! Mom told me stuff about her that made me realize it! Amazing, and she never knew there's a name for this way of being...

    • Like 1
    • Thanks 1
  16. yay, thank you all!! And the ice cream seems a wonderfult welcome gist, i already like you guys, ahahah

     

    On 7/3/2019 at 6:16 AM, Kyle said:

    Interesting. I never realized how similar I felt when friends "put love before friendship". 

     

    I guess I get it. They're infatuated with new bae. But yeah it's disappointing. Like you JUST met them! Take it slow with them, give them time. no?

     

    Well, I guess it's more like people tends to think that love is more important to them than friendship, sadly :/ 

    • Like 1
  17. (Not sure if a topic like this already exists (this forum is huuuge), so I'm sorry if that's the case, you can erase it!)

     

    The title already says it: when you tell people you're aromantic, usually what comments do you get in response?

    I didn't tell it to lots of people, but as for now, the majority lacks of interest. Is more like they don't trust me, or believe is a sort of trend or something, not an actual way of being and they tend to pass over the topic. I'm super frustrated by these people.

    On the other hand, few instead asked me questions about it, 'cause they didn't know aromantic is a thing that exists, but they're interested in knowing more "if it's not a too personal question!" and bless them! 

    One even asked me what do I think during my days if not about romantic stuff like he does and thinks everybody does, LOL!

    • Like 1
  18. On 6/16/2019 at 5:12 PM, Spacenik86 said:

    Twilight. Bella wants to alienate herself from the entire human civilisation and become a blood-sucking demonic entity to please her romantic partner. She's an idiot, yet the viewer is supposed to empathise with her.

     

    OHMY, I read the book years ago when everybody was reading it and I literally throwed it away when she was desparing for months 'cause her boyfriend left her and she even tried to kill herself and COME ON--- is this how people feel love??? And all the girls were delighted by this stuff! I don't think it's a good example for teenagers. 

     

    Btw, I vote for Moulin Rouge. All that drama-- all that songs-- ew. 

    ((Actually i don't watch many romance movies, usually if someone put one on I run away))

    • Like 3
  19. Hi! I wandered on this forum for months and finally I decided to subscribe, 'cause I've been to the Gay Pride in my city and there wasn't any aromantic stuff and I dunno any aromantic people, so here I am, ready to share some aromantic thoughts with this lovely community! (or at least try, I'm like super shy, gh--)

    I discovered aromantic is a thing just this year, like few months ago, thanks to some comments under the song "Love love love" on youtube by a bunch of people talking about how the song is "for aromantics" and I was triggered, so I asked google and UOH, a new world disclosed in front of me!! (I'm guessing sort of everybody had a mindblowing moment like mine, lol)

     

    SO, hi, I'm an aromantic-maybe-asexual-or-at-least-greysexual giraffes lover, I'm from Italy (so I beg your pardon for my english), I'm a free-lance artist and comic artist wannabe, I hate when people put love before friendship, I like to ship fictional characters but lack of interest as long as they get togheter, aaand... uhm what else... I love you all in the community (not romantically, ehe) 'cause I read lots of your stuff here and I already feel at home!! ❤️

    • Like 3
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