Mark

Your explanation of "lithromantic" sounds quite clear. I'm had a similar response to saying I'm uninterested in marriage. Where being asked "why?" does not even make much sense. For me it's more tricky because I do desire relating to people in various ways, which dosn't include romance, exclusivity or "bundling".

Being lonely does not make me desire a romantic relationship. Even where the human interaction and company I might desire is, culturally, virtually impossible to find outside such a relationship.

Things like marriage, monogamy, being a couple, living together, co-sleeping, doing everything together, etc. I have always seen as uninteresting, unappealing and burdensome. Whilst everyone around me seems to enthusiastically want to do these kind of things. Whilst apparently oblivious that there are 101 other ways to go about things. At times the world can feel like a giant romance convention complete with rabid fangirls/boys.

At a wild guess I'd say this is about putting you "in your place" in terms of their romantic relationship being at the top of the hierarchy. Where as you who are "just talking" is a very long way down. With the optimal group size always being two people? Sounds not unlike religious faith to me.

I don't get exclusivity in the first place. Though I do see a certain irony in this senario. Given how common it is for people getting into romantic relationships to dump friends even if their partner does not demand it. Agree that someone demanding this is creepy, controlling and potentially abusive. It certainly isn't in anyway "cute"! IMHO it's a possible "red flag". I've never got why anyone would want monogamy. Interestingly "cheating" is not confined to monogamy, though seems crazy for someone to ask for something they don't actually want. To me partners having other partners feels the most natural thing in the world. Whereas someone wanting me as their only partner seems somewhat immature, clingy and creepy.

One interesting thing, which was recently pointed out to me on another forum, is that there are personality traits these tests are not even intended to measure. In that case those connected to relationship orientation. But they may also not address sexual or romantic orientation.

Exactly "benefits" does not equate to "sex", it could mean affection, D/s or something else not generally expected in a (platonic) friendship. IME many people do make the assumption that FWB implies sex. It almost appears to be the case that alloromantic people will tend to equate FWB with FB (Fuck Buddy: a relationship which is mostly/entirely about sex). Whereas aromantic people will tend to view FWB as being more akin to QueerPlatonic and consider the "friends" part to be of primary importance.

IMHO society and culture are hugely important when it comes to both both how romance is expressed and how it can be treated as such an important (and expected) form of behaviour.

Unless the TV show is something like Seven Days or Tru Calling my first question would be "What's the worst that can happen if X and Y don't get in a romantic relationship?" I'd also ask if a romantic relationship was an absolute requirement to defat Skynet; shoot down the alien mothership; banish Cthulhu; prevent a major war; etc. (Have a missed any apocalyptic movie plots here?) More seriously it shows that alloromantic asexuals and aromantic allosexuals can have very different points of view.

It's almost like movie producers have to check a "romantic relationship" box. Regardless of if it makes the slightest sense.

I find it interesting how so many aro people knew they didn't want to get married as children. However we are told effectively that we will "grow out of it"..

I appear to be the exception here. Really like all of these. Often struggle with finding people who want to do them with me. Especially kissing, seems that the vast majority of people will only kiss (potential) romantic partners. I have had to remind people, on more than one occasion, that they should not assume that I am ace because I am aro or assume that I am haphephobic because I am on the autistic spectrum and aro.

I simply never felt this way. My feelings have always been in the direction of wanting the companionship of people. That someone would specifically want to do anything with only one person is utterly baffling to me. Part of the reason I found the concept of polyamoury interesting. Though the common 'polynormative' varient with its hierarchicays, complex rules and "couple first" isn't for me at all Certainly at that age I was uninterested in romance or exclusivity. But interested in affection and sex. The other huge barrier was gender role expectations and my being a shy person also a far better fit for the traditional "female" roles when it comes to dating.

I have found a thirty year old song which contains the lyrics "I'll give you love baby not romance". 1986 version Better known version from 1988 check around 1:17

Or possibly mistaking squishes for crushes. Non romantic attractions can be strong. If all someone knows is that a crush is a strong attraction centred on someone else that's what they might call the strongest attraction they experience. Even if it's not romantic at all.

TBH to me the activity of "dating" or "going out with PEOPLE" actually still sounds attractive. However the idea of doing so to get a monogamous romantic relationship sounds more like a "booby prize". I like (and enjoy) human company a lot of the time, even though I tend to suck at it. The idea of doing something, with one or more people, where's a good chance of some physical (or sexual) intimacy sounds quite awesome. Especially when combined with a strong QP bond. A friend even described me as "hedonistic" recently.

The concept never made any sense to me. I'm unsure I ever started looking for "THE ONE(tm)".

I found the first question seemed sensible then it rapidly headed off into the "Twilight Zone". With some serious WTF moments.

There seemed to be quite a few questions where you could end up trying to pick the least daft answer. Guessing they expected skipping the question if you had no strong feelings either way.

Very much agree with that. Often wished I could get on board with amantonormative and mononormative thinking so as to fit in better with society.

https://www.morethantwo.com/polyglossary.html#vee

I never really got "love triangles", since typically the most obvious solution for the characters involved is a vee anyway. Must have worked this out at least a decade before I encountered the term "vee".

I'm a bad aro because: I don't have an issue with romance in fiction, per say, rather if it dosn't make sense in terms of plot. I like physical affection, kissing, cuddling, stroking, hand holding. I'd like to be able to go on "dates". So long as there is no expectation of romance or exclusivity involved. (Unfortunately it would have to be in the "askee" role which seems virtually impossible for someone of my age and gender within my society.)

Exactly. Consider also that LGBTQIA spaces can be far less sex negative than str8 spaces. In many cases wanting only sex is considered socially and politically incorrect. (Even without accusations of "predator" and "misogynist".) So negotiating consent under such circumstances is going to be extra difficult anyway. Most likely actual predators are capable of faking romantic interest.