There's this distinct and utter panic I feel every time I'm asked out on a date by someone I thought was just a friend. I think I wouldn't have such a hard time turning them down if they were just a stranger, but with friends I often feel almost betrayed (?) when I'm asked out. I'm not out to many of my friends, just my closest ones, and they're all people that are a) already taken, or b) gay guys and heteroromantic girls (I'm a cis female).
For example, I recently reconnected with one of my friends from elementary school, and we immediately hit it off. I kept thinking to myself, "Wow, what an awesome guy. I really hope this friendship works out." Eventually, about a couple months later we arranged a meet up to go out to the movies, and I honestly didn't think about the romantic implications of it all. So when he asked me out a couple of days later, I was completely blindsided. I panicked for hours, analyzing our every interaction for the supposed romantic subtext I missed. There was this like sinking feeling in my gut, because when I eventually rejected him a day later, he accused me of leading him on and I felt like such a jerk. It made me feel like I should be analyzing everything I do with all of my alloromantic friends just to make sure I'm not hurting anyone, which is something I never want to do. Does that make sense? Is this even something that's really specific to aros? This has happened so many times now that I feel like I really should be looking for this stuff, but it never occurs to me to look at my interactions with people I firmly consider platonic friends (and ONLY platonic friends) and analyze them for potential unwanted romantic feelings.