Enzi

Alright so, I'm just gonna put this as a slight disclaimer: I have a lot of emotional trauma that heavily influences how my romantic attraction works. Alright, so I identify as an asexual lesbian, but I know I'm somewhere on the aro-spectrum as well. I seem to have these "waves" of romantic attraction. It's very inconsistent. I have almost never been interested in someone I've just met. I need to know them to some extent. I need to feel safe around them and have a kind of emotional bond. But there are a few (rare) occurrences where I've liked someone after just a few conversations

I'm actually aromantic due to traumatic experiences outside of romantic situations. I grew up (and am still in) an emotionally abusive house. The emotional trauma that has resulted because of the abuse affects all relationships I have (platonic, familial, romantic, etc.). It's hard to explain, but it's not just fear that it comes from, it's just how my brain processes everything I guess. Like, when it comes to being with my friends or anybody, I do too much or am somehow too much or too little and somehow I just get this very sick feeling in my stomach. Really normal things trigger me and it c