Hi there! I'm brand new to the site; I made an account because I'm debating if I might be Aro. (mods if this topic is under the wrong category feel free to move it)
I'm 100% sure I'm Ace, so I tried exploring with romantic orientation with the labels biromantic or panromantic, researching and trying to find stories people had posted, and listening to my irl friends' experiences. But neither term really sat right with me. I thought since I felt no inclination to any one gender I might just like all or most or something. So I stumbled across the label Aromantic. A lot of the stories I found I could relate to; being uncomfortable/frightened when told someone has a crush on me, feeling numb/uncomfortable/restricted while in a relationship, pulling away when your partner tries to kiss you, etc. I've only ever been in one relationship but all those things matched my experience.
When my boyfriend broke up with me I cried for maybe 20 minutes because I thought this would be the end of our friendship and closeness as well, but then realized how free this left me, and felt a weight lift off my shoulders. No more worrying about doing things for him or going out of my way to see him because I felt like it's what I had to do. My therapist and parents were highly confused and concerned and since then have continuously asked me if I like anyone only to honestly get told "no" each time.
Sometimes hearing about romance is humorous, like when my friends lovestruckly tell me about their crushes it's amusing because it just seems so childish/foolish but other times it's boring/annoying. I've never sought out dating or someone to date-(the one relationship was pushed on me by my closest friend.) I thought I wanted to get married but as the years past I realized what that entailed it sounded less interesting I guess; for instance I forgot all about sex and blanked at the idea of making out or anything. I'd still like to spend my life with someone but I wouldn't want to have sex or kiss. Hugs and cuddles I guess sound good but anything past that I would be uncomfortable with. I'd ideally just want someone like a best friend? Basically like a SO but no kissing/sex? I don't know lol
Whew that was a lot of word vomit, I apologize! Any insight or anything would be incredibly helpful and would lay my mind to rest :'D