Jump to content

Lume

Member
  • Content Count

    43
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    2

About Lume

  • Rank
    Member

Personal Information

  • Orientation
    Aromantic
  • Gender
    gray-feminine
  • Pronouns
    she, they
  • Location
    Luxembourg
  • Occupation
    Sociologist

Contact Methods

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Same here I define as panplatonic, generally. But due to date/flirt culture I tend to make friends with men easier than women since I am an adult. In those friendships, I am more of a buddy, though, despite being feminine. I have never been friends with girlish women, the women I am friends with are not very conforming. Apart from that, there are some genderqueer/trans persons, but no mtf.
  2. What affects me, personally, as an aro person is: 1) Being invisible to others each time when a group of persons I am part of discusses romantic relationships, marriage, children etc. 2) Being excluded from social gatherings which are organised along coupled participants, i.e. double dates, dancing courses (I know, I could go with a friend, but they are coupled as well...) 3) Being neglected as a friend as soon as a person is in a romantic relationship, for these are seen as more important relationships 4) Being financially disadvantaged for not being married and ar
  3. Having alarm bells ringing in the head upon hearing/reading the word "love", even if it's not meant *like that*. #littlearothings Fighting the urge to insist that not everybody wants to love/wants to be loved upon reading about the Orlando massacre, and concluding that it is not necessarily about romantic love thy're talking about. (I feel really bad about that one, tbh.) #littlearothings
  4. Yes, for me, it's the same, just as being asexual belongs here. I know that these three concepts, being single, defining as aromantic and defining as asexual, and you could also add, being celibate and living alone, are distinct, and need to be analytical separated. But humans often refuse to function like that, and since these definitions came to me simoultanously (i.e., I always self-defined as aromantic AND asexual), I am not able to separate them. Maybe there's another thing to it: does anyone have a reliable definition for "being aromantic", except for "not feeling romantic attracti
  5. Hanging out Gathering? Or, we could re-vive "tryst", which is an old term for "date". Haha! "Trystin' the night away".
  6. I found that funny, although I had pretty much the same experience as Cassiopeia. What bothered me, though (although it would certainly not change my result - androgynous, feminine appearance, male socialising style (?), androgynous brain processes), was that there was no option indicating that neither was a choice: sexual preference? men, women, bisexual (or that weird neologism...). Whom did you play with as a kid? same gender, opposite gender, both. Your gender identity? male, female, both (androgynous). And so on. Geez, I prefer neither gender sexually, I played alone as a kid, I do not id
  7. I am not sure whether this is a linguistic thing, but I feel unconfortable with the term "date" in the first section. I would be willing to do much of it, but never, unless ironically, under the term of "date", since that word has a romanting ringing to it. But maybe it's really because I am not a native speaker, in German, the (english) word "date" is used for romantic dates/ initiations of romantic relationships only.
  8. Hm, I really enjoy dressing feminine, and even being charming. Somehow I refuse to aknowledge that coul be misread as romantic interest. But, tbh, and I really don't know where it comes from (maybe I am just not attractive or likeable, don't know), there is not much to handle. When I was at University, there were some guys who were interested, and it was super-emparassing to tell them that "no....". Additionally, I tried to be nice and said "I am not feeling it YET", which may be, hum.... Anyway, I don't recommend that. Maybe being very innocent when it comes to flirting help
  9. Potato.... I am really starting to have romantic feelings toward this aromantic thing. I mean, I wanna marry it and have children with it. And then, I'll have a divorce and start a polyamorous relationship with ice cream and potatoes. And then, I will really be into role plays and have my potato perform as french fries or baked potatoes or as potato fritters.... Sorry, I am silly. This is what eight hours of academic work make of me.
  10. I know that one very well. I could add: YMBAI you're at your best friend's wedding and feel very happy for her, and happy for you, too, because you are single. And of course YMBAI you never imagine how your own wedding will be, not even completely theoretical ("I would have my wedding gown such and such"), because you really know, regardless of any external decision you may or may not have taken, that you will never marry.
  11. Cristina and Meredith from Grey's anatomy.
  12. I am fairly sensitive, I think. That does not mean that I cry a lot and easily (and when I do, it's a sign for depression). But I am easily overwhelmed by noises, heat, lights, many people, the problems of persons I care about (colleagues etc.), general discomfort, light physical pain, hunger, teared or stained clothes (yes!), moods, rudeness or ignorance or lack of empathy by others etc. I tend to define as either high(ly) sensitive or as introvert, or as both, and make sure my environment is as low-stimulus as possible. I tend to feel very bad if this is not the case, I feel it both physical
  13. Well, that's the problem: same here, which is why I accepted in the first place. I didn't get that code, and it resulted in people accusing me for being rude and "changing my mind out of a sudden".
  14. C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-L-Y! "Wanna have a chat?" Sure! "Let's have a coffe some time" With pleasure! "Shall we take a stroll?" Yeah, why not? When did these innocent activities become DATES?!
  15. I would not say that being friends with an ex is impossible, I know cases where ex's are in fact very close friends. On the other hand, I have had one boyfriend, and I cannot be friends with him, I just don't want him in my life at all. I think the reason for that is that our romantic relationship (which I didn't want in the first place) ruined my (formerly very strong) feelings for him and actually wore me down a great deal. I feel I am still bitter towards this experience and regret it. I am not mad at him, to be sure. Still, I completely broke off with him, including de-friending him o
×
×
  • Create New...