NotHeartless

@awkwardchickenpotatodragon I uploaded the images I want to show to an external platform, e.g. here, and then just clicked (lower right corner)"Insert other media" -> "Insert image from URL". The photo should appear in the post then. There is probably another way but I'm a noob with forums. I'd really like to see some of your dragons (I love dragons) but I understand your feeling of discomfort. It took me quite some time to be comfortable with sharing my scribbles. Just to say, I don't think anybody will laugh or devaluate your works.

I've thought about it for a while now and realized the following: I'm definitely touch averse when someone wants to be smoochy with me, it's especially bad if the other person has romantic intentions. But like you, OP, I'm often averse to platonic touch as well. I rarely initiate it, often draw back when someone tries to touch me and most of the time I only touch my friends to comfort them because they are sad, etc. A former friend of mine wanted to hold hands as a sort of experiment between us. I felt really awkward during it and it wasn't because of him - I liked him. But the touch, urgh. And honestly I'm like this since my childhood. My parents weren't very physical with me which could be one cause. But I also didn't demand them to be. However, I sometimes got hugs from my grandmother and actually loved it when she stroked me. Since then they were only few people (can count them on one hand) I felt good with when they touched me. I can't put my finger on the exact circumstances needed for me to feel good with it. I said I'd need trust, which still calls true. But just because I trust someone doesn't mean I'll enjoy their touch (which I experienced with my roommate). It's complicated and I still want to figure it out. In my case maybe it's just cause I'm not used to being touched? Anyway, the question doesn't leave my mind too.

I'd rather live as nomad than get married.

Also, there is the Arocalypse Discord Server and the Arocalypse chat here, though it seems to be rather dead. Still, some people could agree on chatting here and meet up at a certain time. Personally, I'm up for chatting via WhatsApp.

A drawing I made because I admire and love Keith's and Shiro's (brotherly) bond in Voltron Legendary Defender And some plants in traditional fashion (with their scientific names)

Honestly, I always find it a bit creepy when people ship other people in real life. Then again, I also find some fictional romantic ships disturbing and/or pointless so maybe that's just me. I just enjoy two characters I like interacting with each other and having great chemistry. They don't have to be a confirmed pair at all, I just need the sensation of "yeah, they [would] get along great". (because of their history / development / matching personalities, etc. ) I'm more of a platonic shipper, even in fiction I struggle with romance. When it comes to fanfiction I prefer to read smut over romance and aroace (no sexual or romantic (sub)plot) - both can be tough to find. For example, there is rarely smut which doesn't end up in romance. My own works are focused on these preferences too. I feel too weird when I try to write romance, it always feels artificial and I don't want to feel sick while proofreading my own stuff.

I used to celebrate with my parents and their friends. There was food, firworks on TV and a lot of good conversation. Currently I always celebrate with my roommate which is cool. 2 years ago I was asked by an acquaintance if I'd like to go to a NYE party with him. I didn't know about the kissing on NYE but I can kinda imagine it can be depressing when everyone is coupled but you. Then again, I probably wouldn't really care. I'm indifferent when it comes to couples. As long as no one is trying to kiss me, I'm fine.

My mother is Protestant, my father Catholic. On paper, I'm member of the Protestant church too. My father is in actuality an atheist, my mother believes in God. I had many conflicting emotions regarding church and don't think the happenings in the Bible are true. Still, I do believe in something higher. I often find myself feeling sheltered and like something is just there. And if I do pray, it'll be heard. Through the (early) deaths of people I knew and loved, I experienced things I'd call supernatural - though they can also be viewed rationally. It's because I like to believe there is more to our world than what meets the eye. Even if the explanation lies somewhere in quantum physics (which is extremly fascinating). I classified myself as nonrelegious/agnostic. I'm understanding of people who do believe and people who don't believe in anything equally.

24 in exact one month

Alright...can't talk for everyone on here and I've been not a part of this community for a long time yet. But you're welcome here. Be who you are. I accept your identity absolutely and don't have these twisted views on (other) transgender, be it MtF or FtM. Or on people who aren't asexual. So, welcome to the forums .

Gryffindor. It's interesting to see how many of you are either Slytherin or Ravenclaw. Ravenclaw is my favorite house. I love Luna ?.

I suffered from heavy body dysphoria in the past but since my mental condition got better, I worked on my body and took steps towards transitioning... I'm rather shameless when it comes to my body and being naked. With other people I'm either indifferent or enjoy catching a glimpse. As drawing is my passion I also drew naked people or used them as models. In my opinion there is nothing to be ashamed about the human figure.

Tbh I'm not sure what you are trying to say but I still want to write something because your experiences sound horrible. Did someone ever came up to you personally and said you're a sexual abuser? Because you are trans* and not asexual? Or did you spend too much time in toxic SJW spaces and some random feminist insulted you? Also, let me get the asexual bit right: You're using the label to feel normal, so people aren't able to call you a sexual abuser? Did I get that correctly? Girl, in whichever spaces you hang out, get out of there. It's not normal to get called a future sexual abuser because of one's identity (or past). And you shouldn't tell yourself you are or will become a sexual abuser yourself because of a happening you had no control over. Aromantic allosexuals aren't creeps.

I'm rather averse to touch in general (yay, stereotypical aromantic guy). For example I don't like kisses on the lips unless they are a lead up to sex. Anything else repulses me. I can hug close friends and my parents with a good feeling but with strangers I feel (very) uncomfortable. It's rare I feel the desire to cuddle. I don't mind cuddling with animals but with other humans I often found myself getting annoyed at the closeness. Especially in bed, I just wanna role over and have my space. I often enjoy closeness without touching someone - only sitting next to a friend, feeling their presence can feel so nice. That being said I assume the more I trust someone/feel emotional connected, the higher is the chance I will enjoy physical touch.

This is really good. A perfect summary of the way I view romantic love. If I remember correctly, I read a post here on arocalypse that talked about Shakespeare. In another work he set the focus on the friendship instead of the romance - which was portrayed in a negative way. It seems to be a common theme with him. Guess I should start to read more Shakespeare. Was also very interesting to read romance in the mid-nineteenth century was seen as dangerous or as impediment. We as aros seem to be immune to it but I can sympathize with the notion that this kind of love is some sort of illness. And I realized once again I wouldn't like to be married, probably not even out of rational reasons . Anyways thanks for sharing!

Yes. That's why I definitely know it isn't for me and I don't feel the way alloromantics do. That's also how I found out I'm not able to live monogamous.

-sigh- I lost count of how many times that happened to me. Very relatable. I think fandoms are great and people can do whatever they like in them but I don't (always) get behind all the romantic shipping.

I didn't understand my sexual attraction for a long time and couldn't put into words if and when I've felt it. I always had a physical response to visual stimulation (with porn or comics rated R) and a noticeable libido. And I always enjoyed masturbation. But when it came to people in real life, most of the time I felt nothing. If I imagined a naked girl or guy standing in front of me I only felt indifference. The first time I had sex it was most of all because I was curious. Sometimes it felt mediocre, sometimes pretty good. I enjoy seeing and hearing the reactions to the things I do the most. And the more I think of it, the more I assume I have voyeuristic tendencies (though I wouldn't go out and spy on people). I enjoy being touched too but not so much as the former. And after all these years I now come to understand - the only people I can feel (as described in the thread) raw, sexual hunger for are people who I'm close to. In my case: friends. Not all of them, all the time. But definitely some. This striked me as odd. I'm odd. I don't love anyone romantically but still would fuck my friends (if they want to). Yeah I don't think anyone can understand it besides some other aros and maybe demisexuals. Sometimes I wish I could go over to two of my male friends and just say "Hey, I had a hot dream of you and me last night" and they would just answer "Nice, tell me about it". But it's just socially unacceptable - especially because the "aromantic experience" includes seeing many of your friends getting into a relationship, getting married, having kids. And I only wish for someone that would want to hang out with me once or twice a week, who likes me (platonically), wants to talk and wants to satisfy sexual needs together, have fun. No wonder I wished I was ace (or not aro). But I'm not. The dreams, the hot feeling I got nearby one of my friends, the detailed fantasy in my head speak a clear language. Being allosexual would help too, then I could get it on with strangers. But there needs to be some kind of trust and understanding and otherwise I just don't feel sexual attraction, for like 80% of the time. Sorry for the whining I needed to get this out of my head. It was a hell of a ride. And it's difficult to admit I'm feeling what I'm feeling since it's embarrassing. So in conclusion I only feel sexual attraction for people I'm somewhat emotionally close to. Guess it could mean I'm demi but still don't want to put myself in that category. And there are times when I see strangers where I think Damn, he/she's so good-looking. Or where I wonder what the person might be like between the sheets.

Sorry to dig this out but I agree. so. damn. much! I was quite the big fan of Naruto and always thought about Sasuke as aroace. You now shipping is fine but I couldn't imagine him with anyone. The closest person to him, that's still alive, was and is Naruto IMO. And with Naruto himself I don't think he's ace but I can totally imagine him being aromantic. He's just oblivious to romantic love as I am. His crush on Sakura didn't seem romantic to me and later in the series they have a really strong brother/sister bond. I don't know if that's the aro inside me but I disliked the ending for Sasuke and Naruto. Both of their "romantic interests" and marriages felt extremly forced, leaving me once more asking WHY and if it was necessary (no it wasn't). I would've strongly prefered if they just stayed single and treasured their strong friendship. As Voltron fan I stand my ground he's aro (and possibly on the asexual spectrum). Even if half the fandom seems to think he's a closeted gay for whatever reason (because no one can be friends with each other, there always needs to be romantic or sexual tension). For once I agree with you that I can't imagine him with anyone romantically and the brotherly connection with Shiro proved to me he loves people rather platonically - but very much so (and I love the bond they share in canon). The talk in season 8 with Lance gave this vibe off to me too. I admire the way Keith's and Lance's friendship developed. Also as he was alone with Allura in a previous season I found his reactions funny - because there were none. Everyone was like Uuuh they ran off together and Keith was only shrugging. I was afraid they would pair him off with her (again). I'm happy he ended up single and stayed single in the end card. The forced romance with Lance was enough for me, couldn't have beared it if they had done it with Keith as well. And yeah, Todd from Bojack Horseman is an official confirmed asexual character by now - I'm not sure about him being aro (because of Yolanda n' stuff). But he definitely has a special friendship with Emily and I love it.

Just very bad at romance with commitment issues.

...you tried to copy "romantic behaviour" from movies, books and other works of fiction because it was the only way to know what's considered as romantic in a relationship but you yourself never felt it. ...you read a well written erotic story but the romance part just annoys the hell out of you

- as child I pushed certain people of the opposite sex away from me because I was afraid they have a crush on me - in elementary school people around me had crushes and I was only like Why??? We're too young for this shit. I also did not understand why one girl who felt heartbroken couldn't just get over the guy she liked because I thought he was an asshole anyway - the first time I was with someone who liked me romantically I felt like I couldn't care less. My friends were still my top priority - not being curious about my first kiss but grossed out Oh and I already knew in elementary I don't want to get married and didn't get the fuss about it