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About BecauseMeg

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    cis female
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    Boston, Massachusetts, USA
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  1. I don't think this post is supposed to be in this topic, but it didn't really fit anywhere so I will just leave it here. I know I don't experience romantic attraction, but I never quite understood how it is supposed to feel or what it's like. There are no good descriptions on the web, or in any of the books I have ever read (and I read a quite a lot), and nobody seems to be able to explain it. As a fanhuman, I find it very hard to have ships because I don't understand it when the characters are attracted to each other and how it's different from them being friends. How do you figure out if a person is romantically attracted to somebody else? How is romantic attraction different than friendship?
  2. Yeah, I get it. I actually read a really good article about amatonormativity a few weeks ago. I mean, just the idea of dating when you are young (elementary/middle/high school) is weird, in my opinion, because what are the chances that you will actually stay with your middle school goyfriend forever and live happily ever after? And why is romantic attraction such an amazing feeling that your top priority in life is to find a romantic partner? It's impossible to explain this to alloromantic people because they had the idea that you need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy and have a fulfilled life drilled into their heads since they were born. I once tried to explain to my friend that I don't see why they are so obsessed with their crush because we are in 8th grade and it's unlikely that they will stay together into adulthood, and they told me that if I experienced romantic attraction I would understand. Aros are seen as the dumb little kids that don't understand the concept so it's fine to ignore us when we try to explain that the concept is useless. I think this is one of the hardest things about being aro, but I am happy for you that you are comftrable with your identity! Also, welcome to arocalypse! *goes to find that awesome icon*
  3. *screams with joy because WHERE DID YOU FREAKING GET THAT EMOJI?!* Welcome to the forums! I totally understand you confusion with relationships, because I share it. It's especially hard as a fanhuman and a writer, because I interpret relationships differently than most people. I don't get all the unspoken rules. I hope you find some good threads and info here and find a community
  4. For alloromantics, complaining about getting too much romantic attraction is like complaining over a 99 on a test. They don't get what it's like to be aro. They just don't .Even people in the queer community, even allies, the idea that romance is natural, that it is more important than anything else, don't understand what it means to be aro. Nobody makes the effort to understand, either. Because their romantic feeling are always more important. Even if they don' think we are broken, they still view us as lesser. They know so much about life and romance already that there is no need to understand the feelings and lives of aros. I think alloromantics not understanding how we feel is the biggest problem. In my opinion, friendship heartbreak for aros is worse than romance heartbreak to alloromantic people, because alloromantics are following society's standards and they can be understood and they can count on people to understand them and make them feel better, while nobody takes our friendship heartbreak seriously because "it was just a friend" and we are "broken" already. Nobody's probably going to understand what we are going through. Life as an aro person surrounded by alloromantics is hard, but that's why Arocalypse is so important - we do understand what you are going through. I love having an aro community that understands me, and I hope you will find strength here, too.
  5. I ship a lot, but it's important for me to have reasonable ships and not just be like "oh yeah these characters exchanged five sentences and didn't kill each other they are meant to be forever" which I think comes from being aro because I don't feel the need to find a ship for everybody or think all the characters need to date to be happy. I don't ship sexually, I'm ace and I find it boring. I have a few romantic ships. Most of them are canon. I have a bunch of platonic ships, most of them are canon but as romantic ships and one platonic ship are friends in the books and a super popular fanon romantic ship. I think I have a lot of platonic ships compared to romantic people because as aro I don't see every meaningful relationship as romantic. And for some unknown reason, I find slash ships cuter than any other ships. It's hard for me to see and understand romantic attraction, and most things people see as romantic ships I see as platonic ships or friendships. I have two romantic ships that I can think of right now, and a bunch of more ships who are canon as romantic but I don't see the romantic attraction or chemistry between them and ship as platonic ships.
  6. I also identify with the colors more than the symbols, and I think a shirt in the colors is slightly more invisibility cloak-like, because if somebody sees a symbol they might ask you what it means or something, but usually people outside of the queer community won't recognize the colors or will think they represent something. Personally, I will feel safer wearing a shirt with the aro colors. Maybe as stripes inside a shape?
  7. This also happens in fandoms, even if a character has no romantic interest you have to ship them with somebody. I mean, give them a break. Like Reyna in Heroes of Olympus - the girl has no partner at the moment, but everybody still ships her with someone, draws fanart of that ship, writes fanfics of her with like two hundred different people. It's like a character needs a romantic partner to be complete or relatable or interesting. Spoiler: they don't.
  8. Blitzen from Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard because his relationship with Hearth is not romantic but is definitely beyond friendship and they have an amazing connection. I think Blitz is aro because most romantic people don't have that type of relationship with other romantic people and there is no evidence of Blitzen ever having a crush or dating somebody.
  9. I don't think kissing has anything to do with sex. It's just a way to show affection, like hugging. The activity of kissing on the mouth isn't all that meaningful or significant, I just think that western culture gives it the meaning of love and affection so most people view it as that.
  10. I am Atheist and Jewish. Judaism is more of my culture rather than my religion. The rest of my family is Jewish. It really depends what religion, but I think most encourage romantic love and marriage but don't exclude people who are not married or something like that.
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