TripleA

I've heard neurodiverse was created for just those with autism, adhd, etc. and doesn't include those with mental illnesses

The term is very confusing. You can just not feel romantic attraction sometimes and feel it other times and still be alloromantic. Again, most alloromantics don't feel romantic attraction all the time. I don't think there's any way to feel romantic attraction and not feel it at the same exact time. You either do or you don't. It sounds like "I think maybe I'm aromantic but I also think maybe I'm alloromantic". Can't seem to find it on google search, do you have a link?

I never even thought of the flag design so actually no. I'm not someone who intentionally copies work. Idk why people think I have some ulterior motive against people bc of what I believe. If any designs look like anyone else's, it's usually an accident. It just happened to look like the alloaro flag, so I decided to make a revision by bringing out the colours more and making the stripes vertical. Here Also it's green, light blue, white, yellow, orange so not all the colours are the same. It's just the first design didn't bring the blue out enough.

They're not aro, they're allo, get over it. Including allos in aromanticism is arophobic. I have the right to be offended.

Just thought I'd share these to see what people think of these and maybe give constructive criticism. Platonic Partnership flag (quasiplatonic flag) Polyaffectionate flag Aromantic flag redesign

It's a valid criticism imo.

I made a post on the LGBT+ amino as to why the demi flags are problematic here Here is a Wikipedia page about the black triangle and how it was used in the holocaust against lesbians I found these great flag alternatives on Tumblr which I'd encourage people to use instead. My favourite ones are the ones by @ cockyroaches @cockyroaches ' alternatives for Demiromantic, Demisexual and Demisexual & Demiromantic @crimsxnflxwerz 's alternatives for Demiromantic and Demisexual

My story is a more muddled up, bc I used to be female, so I used to be a Homosexual Aromantic. For me, finding what sexuality I was was still difficult for me; it came with a lot of denial, confusion and internalised homophobia. I thought I was asexual due to not experiencing sexual attraction until age 15, and when I experienced it towards women, I basically just left it there. I didn't know being aro or not being both heterosexual and heteroromantic was a thing, and just assumed I was also homoromantic because people usually experience sexual and romantic attraction together, or their romantic and sexual orientations match up nicely. However, that isn't the case most likely, and questioning my romantic orientation has been quite hard. And questioning my gender on top of that also takes a toll on me. I'm also Autistic, so understanding romance is quite hard for me. Basically, I didn't know that romance was more than just the fluff in movies or books, and I always saw sex as the no.1 priority.

I mean just heterosexual. So you're also saying I'm bi basically?

So, I have recently had conflicting thoughts on my sexual orientation again. To keep it simple: - I like both female and male genitalia. - Only sexually attracted to women, regardless of genitals - Only sexually attracted to men when I see their genitals - Not attracted to any male secondary sex characteristics - Only attracted to female secondary sex characteristics - I'd only have sex with men because of their genitalia, not because I find them sexually attractive in any way. I've had some people say I can still be straight, but others say I'm bi because me liking dick means I'm attracted to men, which I don't believe I am. I enjoy flirting sexually with men (no romo), but only because of his genitalia (especially male genitalia).

transgender is not its own gender. I am not a separate gender just because I am a trans guy and not a cis guy. It others us, and it makes me dysphoric. I know english is not your first language, but I wanted to point that out. Nous apprenons encore To me, gender is the sex of your brain, aka your brain tells you what gender you are based on how your brain is structured - there are biological differences between male and female brains, this is part of what validates transgenderism. One example is the amount of white matter you have vs grey matter. Gender doesn't always match up with your sex (which is pretty rare), but gender is usually very closely linked to your sex. Socially constructed things such as clothes, makeup, etc. don't matter when it comes to your gender. Also not caring about your gender as much is really being a normal person. So I take a pretty factual stance on the matter.

QPRs are platonic though, that's why it says Queer Platonic Relationship. That's why I prefer Platonic Partnership, as well as the fact that I don't think Aces/Aros who are not gay, bi or trans (LGBT) should be using 'queer'at all. I understand that there are no specific sites or apps to find PPs specifically, and it's something I'd love to see. However, some people who search for regular friends may want to 'upgrade' to a PP like how alloromantics do with romantic relationships. Also all friendships are platonic, platonic attraction is wanting to be friends with someone. What is a 'non-platonic friend'? I prefer a combination of fwb and pps - those are the only 2 non romantic relationships I can think of that aros would want to have outside of familial ones, as well as just regular friendships. What other types are there?

I mean this whole argument of who came up with it first is pointless, it sounds just like a petty argument some 6 year olds have to avoid getting into trouble. As was said before, I think we should just focus on making a healthy community for aromantics which isn't full of arophobic allosexuals and asexuals alike. Personally, I think QPRs are only that important in the AroAce community for aces, alloaces have romantic relationships, us aros don't. I believe it's much harder to find someone as an aromantic than as an asexual (especially alloromantic asexuals, not saying dating isn't hard for you guys though). I tend to always find people who are in this community (especially on tumblr) who shame allosexual aromantics like myself just because we cannot feel this 'pure' romantic attraction they can. I've also had shit from my ex for this too, and it's really isolating. I think a lot of AroAce communities are very ace biased, AVEN being the biggest example, but I can understand that bc it's just Asexuality Visibility Education Network. Other aroace communities claim to be inclusive of aces and aros equally but there's so much hyper romanticism in some of them that you have to question if they're really a space where aros who are romance repulsed/romance negative are really thought about. This is why I prefer using Aromantic specific sites and groups like this one. Also, reparations isn't the thing aros need imo. Aces and aros don't need reparations; they weren't mass murdered like the jews. I just want to be treated as a human being and to be at least considered when people make ace and aro spaces, like if we were to make a discord server for example, have a pda/romantic/lovey-dovey channel just for alloromantics and romance positive aros to enjoy whilst not making the rest of us uncomfortable. That sort of thing.

There are 2 apps which are more focused on making friendships and (therefore) PPs (Platonic Partnerships, I know it sounds like peepee XD) which are Patook (however it's not very active) Yubo I mean there is an option on some dating apps where you can say you're just looking for friends but most people want a romantic relationship eventually from those friends. I would love to have a place where you can be confident everyone wants a fwb or pp of some sort

First video: Are Aces/Aros LGBT?: I just wanted to let you know that I've started a new channel dealing with ace and Aro topics, such as discourse, what Asexuality and Aromanticism are, etc. as an Aro. A lot of the videos about these topics on YouTube are by people who have the same opinions as each other, and so I wanted to put out my perspective. Watch it if you want and leave me suggestions as to what videos to make next if you want to.

https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Aromantic_Allosexual I understand that this was made to be just an alloaro flag, but I believe it can work to be used by all aromantics, the meanings don't need to be changed. I like the meanings and the design looks better. I mean, from what I know, the aro flag has not been finalised as the ace flag has been, sooo

I don't think it's an issue with my aromanticism, but with my touch aversion, I don't want anyone near me usually. I am between being solo or having one other person (a partner) and having separate beds. two allo aros? lol I find it hard finding other allo aros

actually saying grey, demi, etc. romantic people are aromantic is harming the community. This over inclusion is harming the community. Eventually everyone will be able to say they're aro bc the word would lose its meaning if we keep letting allo people (or what you guys call aro-spec) just say they're aromantic, this then lets arophobes say that actual aromantics are just less attracted people and that they're lying about having no romantic attraction, which is not true. It's arophobia to let non aro people say they're aro just because they want to be included where they don't belong. Just because there are maybe one or two similarities, doesn't mean we are the same. Like how bi and gay people aren't the same just because they both experience same sex attraction. Maybe people should just be ok with what they actually are. if you're greyromantic, great, if you're demiromantic, great. It's not bad to be alloromantic. I don't want people who aren't aromantic speaking for me when they don't understand what it's like to be aromantic themselves. I wouldn't speak for greyromantics bc I don't know what it's like to be greyromantic, because that's...I think greyphobic would be the word? People like myself are constantly silenced just because people want to virtue signal and be over-inclusive, and it's erasing aros who do not subscribe to the "aromantic spectrum" idea. Why are we favouring people who aren't actually aro over actual aros with a different opinion? It sounds like aro erasure to me. Like maybe accept that, yes, grey, demi, lith, etc. romantics can go and be in aro/ace spaces (unless it's a specific ace and aro only place) and talk about the things they relate to them on (aka not having a conventional way of feeling romantic attraction), but they aren't aro themselves. I still go to aro/ace spaces or more ace biased "aro/ace spaces" (like AVEN) even though I'm not ace, but I understand that I am not ace. You could also just be an aro ally which is cool as well. I'd refer to myself as an ace ally.

people who feel excluded from what I say are probably not actually aromantic. Not everything is about inclusion. Like we wouldn't let bi people say they're gay (seriously) just because they experience same sex attraction like gay people do, so why would we let people who just don't experience romantic attraction as often (which is pretty normal) say they're aro? Also, you could consider gay as an umbrella term in a sense too. I don't relate to people who just don't experience romantic attraction as much as other allos or only under certain circumstances because I am aromantic, whilst they are not. Also, my definition (aka the actual definition) of aromantic isn't outdated or incomplete, it's perfectly accurate for every aromantic. Some definitions are best kept simple, like this one. Also, it isn't just me who believes this, I know others that do. Just because a lot of people want to be over-inclusive, doesn't mean that the whole aro community is for that, that's just arophobic in itself. If we are going to use these 2 definitions, when why not have a specific flag for the first definition for actual aromantic people to use?

I clearly said that I think greyromantics, demiromantics, frayromantics etc. are valid so I don't understand how I would break that rule anyway. There's a difference between saying that a term outright doesn't exist and saying that these terms are valid but they aren't the same as something else aka, me saying grey, demi, etc. aren't aro doesn't invalidate them being grey or demi, etc. itself, but it does mean that it invalidates them being aromantic, since they don't fit the definition of what it means or what it represents.

Well I said my opinion fairly respectively from what I remember, so idk. Also I get confused whether it was that server or another server where I got banned just because I said I don't like social justice in a political channel, whilst social justice was the actual topic of discussion, whilst everyone else were allowed to say they were for it. Well sometimes there is a line between being inclusive of every trans person for example (nb people are trans and so it makes sense they're included on the flag since they have gender dysphoria like binary trans people) and using a flag that includes aromantics and non aromantics - the latter, to me, is just being way too inclusive. Like gay is also both an umbrella term sometimes and a specific label, but the gay flag is only supposed to be gay people or just lgbt as a whole, not for gay and bisexuals, etc. So how come Aromantics only get a flag that encompasses many terms that aren't aro (having no romantic attraction) but demi, lith, fray, grey, etc. have their own specific flags that are perfectly fine to use? Also, I wouldn't call aromantic an umbrella term. Oh yeah, I actually forgot that was the case for the ace flag. However, I've never seen anywhere where it says that one of the stripes on the aro flag meant similarly.

they aren't aromantic. if you have romantic attraction, you're allo. I don't want people searching up Aromanticism and being confused bc they found out some "aros" can have romantic attraction, it confuses me and everyone else. It just seems like they want to be special - you can be grey, or demi, etc. but that doesn't make you any less allo. Aromantic: no romantic attraction greyromantic (for example): little romantic attraction How is that not contradictory... It's not a spectrum. Not everything is a spectrum. Stop saying alloromantics can be aro just because they may not experience romantic attraction as often - guess what? loads of alloromantics are greyromantic or demiromantic - in fact, my best friend is demiromantic (demihomoromantic specifically), but she's still allo and she knows that, and she's fine with not being included with people who are actually aromantic. Demiromantic, Frayromantic and Greyromantic people are normal, alloromantic people. It's like when lesbians get rightfully mad when a straight man starts calling himself a lesbian, when he is clearly not. If we lump in all of this other stuff Aromanticism will lose its meaning altogether eventually. It's rude to say people are aro when they're not just to feel special or to seem different. Also, greyromantics, demiromantics, lithromantics, etc. all have their own flags for their own labels and there are many others like themselves to talk to. Aromantics don't have a flag that is just for them specifically, but these others do? I think it's fair for aros to have their own flag which is just for actual aromantics, like demiromantics have their own flag for actual demiromantics, etc. I support equality, after all.

Not wanting sensual stuff like hand holding or hugging doesn't mean you're aromantic btw, it would make you asensual. But I think you could be Aromantic.

Disclaimer: It looks like I have to point this out (bc otherwise people will just twist my words), but I don't think greyromantic and demiromantic people, etc. don't exist, their experiences are valid, I just think they should stick to using their own flags instead of trying to use a flag that doesn't represent them. I'm glad that there are demi and grey and lith flags for those people to use for their own labels, instead of needing to use the Aromantic flag when it doesn't represent them. Also, I don't care if demiromantics, greyromantics, etc. want to use these forums to help them learn about Aromanticism or to help support an Aromantic friend or family or whatever. This site is clearly for everyone who doesn't experience romantic attraction as conventionally as Alloromantics do, including Alloromantics in the grey area of Alloromanticism like greyromantics, demiromantics, lithromantics, etc. I also don't believe Aromanticism is on a spectrum, you either have romantic attraction (aka you're Alloromantic) or you don't. At least read what I have to say and discuss this civilly. Why do Greyromantics, demiromantics, etc. Get their own flag while Aromantics have a flag in which the grey and demi romantics are just squished in when they aren't Aromantic? Here is the Demiromantic flag, used only by those who only experience romantic attraction when they form a close, emotional bond with someone: Here is the Greyromantic flag, used only by those who experience romantic attraction rarely: This is the Lithromantic/Akoiromantic flag, used only by those who have romantic attraction but don't want to actually have a romantic relationship or have their feelings reciprocated: And this is the Aromantic flag, which is supposed to be used by only those who experienced no romantic attraction at all: ...oh wait, no it's not, it has the grey stripes to represent greyromantic people, who have romantic attraction and already have their own flag... This doesn't make any sense. Why do people who have romantic attraction have to be lumped into a flag that should only be for those with no romantic attraction, if they have their own flags which are just for them that people already know about and use? I don't mind Idemromantics, cupioromantics using the Aro flag because they are actually Aromantic, they have no romantic attraction at all, unlike grey and demiromantic people, who are Alloromantic. Those are just Aromantics with microlabels, and that's fine. I just find it a bit unfair. Why can't Aromantics get their own flag to represent no sexual or romantic attraction like how greyromantic people can get their own specific flag to represent how they only experience romantic attraction rarely? It's like if a bisexual woman used the lesbian flag - it just doesn't make sense, since the lesbian flag is only for women who are exclusively sexually attracted to other women. Bisexual women are attracted to both genders, and they already have their own flag representing that. You get what I mean? By the way I have, in fact, designed a new Aromantic flag just for Aromantic people to use, like how demi, grey, etc, romantics have their own flags for them to use, which I will link here: http://aminoapps.com/p/fr5dgh

Well what do you believe would be the best definition of alterous attraction then? Also what is the 'obvious flaw' with part 2?