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QuestionsConfusion&Panic

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About QuestionsConfusion&Panic

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    Newbie
  • Birthday March 24

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  • Name
    SJ
  • Orientation
    no idea anymore
  • Gender
    female
  • Pronouns
    she/her/hers

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  1. I had a really deep discussion with a friend the other day and I think I agree that I was unknowingly in love with my best friend because I sort of denied it and I thought i had never felt love but the more I think about it the more I think I really did love her, my feelings are just without like kissing + desire which would be more ace than aro... like i wanted to be her most important and I would do such extravagant things for her and think about her constantly and she was so grateful for my love but never acted the same way and I understand why now. Plus I desired a physical closeness too, not kissing but I wanted to be cuddling with her, playing with her hair, it was all stuff my friend I was discussing this with agreed was more than friendship feelings. My feelings for that girl mimicked my friend I was talking to's feelings with her boyfriend. Thing is, I've fallen out of love and its good because she like has a boyfriend and that could have been a bad disaster if I kept loving her like that,. But now I like someone else but I blocked out my feelings until too late because he asked me about us and i denied him very weirdly and i feel terrible especially now because I have similar feelings for him as I did for this friend so I think it's similar but its most likely too late and its all just very problematic and confusing. especially now i have no clue what orientations I am and like my sense of self is gone but I can't really find it and I am just so lost . yeah idk what you guys can say really but I just am so confused because I really thought I was aroace and i dont think its true at all... i mean i could still be ace but maybe i just have rhe same kind of mental bblock with that i did and sort of still do with romance? I'm just so confused. idk what happened.
  2. hmm i do like dressing up occasionally because i like to be like dang i look good and i really like fun bold styles. i always like bolder vs muted and stuff but its never to like attract anyone its just for fun. like makeup too, i don't do it often but when i do i'll go all out and i enjoy doing it. i used to practice weird designs and i've done a couple things for halloween, ( I can make a good cheetah makeup) and yeah fun stuff like that. but then there's days where i won't dress up for a while. i just never wear sweatpants in public or much in general because my parents put it in my head that its not acceptable haha.
  3. yeah : / it can be really confusing like at this point i'm pretty much 99% sure everything ive felt has not been romantic towards everyone because i still don't really understand it but its just so confusing . I'm sorry you lost your friend : ( it really sucks when that happens.
  4. Okay thank you for that input. You might be right about the romantic and platonic feelings because it is different than how I feel or act towards the rest of my friends, so it could be romantic. That's certainly interesting
  5. This is related to a post I just made but I need someone to tell me if this sounds platonic or romantic: I have been friends with this person for a while but only because close with them like 2 years ago. Last year we became very close and I really loved spending time with her so so much. So I looked forward to spending time with her and used to hug her bye during her sport season almost every day before i left school. I went to most of the games for her and a couple other friends, and loved watching her shes SO GOOD at it omg. I write, draw, and make things for her telling her how important she is to me and how much I adore her. I miss her a lot when I don't get to see her. I went to her dance recital and couldn't stop smiling because she was amazing. During this year I've been away so when I do come home we get to spend a little time together and I get so excited and I hug her forever. I love hugging her so much it's the best thing in the world. We text daily and I get sad when she doesn't text me for long amounts of time. I miss her and hugging her so much when I'm not around and I talk about her to my friends a lot. If she's sad I work for long time trying to think of ways to make her feel better. I love her so much but I'd never want to kiss her or anything like that but that has to do with asexuality not necessarily romantic love and I love cuddling with her (but I love cuddling with other people too) so like... **oh but also I at one point admitted to her that I had never felt such strong love for anyone which is true So what do you think? romantic or platonic? I've always just thought of it as strong platonic love but now I'm worried it's not. How do I tell the difference?!?.
  6. I don't think I love her romantically though. Then again maybe I don't actually understand what romantic love is so who knows. Because definitely no sexual love there but romantic and platonic are more similar without including a sexual aspect most people consider with romantic it's so hard to tell the difference. Do you think if I explained our relationship more someone could help me out on if it's romantic or platonic because I thought it was strong platonic love..? If I actually love her romantically that would be hella awkward because of multiple reasons so that idea actually scares me I hope that's not what it is.
  7. ^ I play clarinet too. I've played for 9 years now and I currently do pep band and pit band hehe.
  8. Because I don't know if it is. I don't mean a squish because we're best friends. I mean that I feel such strong love and emotional attachment to my best friend that there is no other words to describe it than being platonically in love with her. Like I write, draw , and make her things telling her how much I love her. I live for hugs from her stay in her arms for very long durations of time (I'm a very cuddly person in general). I call her the love of my life sometimes and I tell her how amazing she is a lot. I'm always there for her. But none of this is romantic even though I feel like I almost am doing romantic things. I just love her so much I am in love with her as a friend. Has anyone ever felt platonically in love with someone? Or am I just pretty weird here
  9. I'm Catholic and it never really had an affect on anything except maybe that my whole family really sticks to the whole idea of "you'll find someone eventually" and I've while I've thought I'm ace for a long time I've never fully said it to my parents because they'd think it was silly. They just don't get asexual stuff because like I said, I just haven't met the right person. Which is funny to me because I disagree but whatever haha.
  10. I've been trying to learn spanish for a long time and I've also tried to learn a little polish and french but that didn't get very far yet haha. I want to actually learn spanish first and then go back to the others after I feel more confident.
  11. ^Thank you so much I probably am aromantic and I'll try to talk to him about it soon because I feel badly about this since I really don't think I feel the same way he does right now.
  12. Hi, So I'm new here and I've been struggling with my romantic / sexual identities for quite a while at this point. I'm now in college and I've wondered about being asexual since like beginning of high school and was pretty confident it was true. But even as a kid I've never had a crush, and I had to deal with those "who's your crush" conversations where people would think I'm lying when I said no one. Then as I got older it became more prevalent but i always liked romance movies and the idea of romance and I thought that one day I was going to have a romance probably. But I never really got into the detail of that. And as years went by, I still have never had a crush. I think I've had very intense squishes; those were purely platonic but very stressful. But basically I never thought about dating people or having sex, while I didn't care if other people did it, the idea made me incredibly uncomfortable for myself. But I never wanted to admit the possibility that I could be aromantic, because I thought it meant I would be alone. But now I have such wonderful good friends to rely on and I've realized that simply isn't true. But I did make a mistake because recently I became overwhelmed with being complimented a LOT and ended up going on a date with a lovely, very sweet, funny guy. And I don't think I felt any romantic attraction. Was it a great time? Yeah! Do I want to hang out with him again sometime? Sure! But I feel like it was much more platonic for me and I felt terrible about it because it is obvious how much he likes me and I want to try again to make sure but I need to let him know soon. I just am hoping that maybe I'll get attraction because he's so sweet but I don't think I will. Do you think I'm aromantic from what I've said because if so I definitely have to stop sooner than later because it's not fair to him. And also I really just feel like aro-ace really sounds like how I feel but I don't know if I should warn him about that now or wait longer. We really have only gone on one date so I was hoping that maybe I would change, but I really don't feel like I will so I don't know!! Agh (Also not positive this was the right forum for this because it's kind of like a mix between what am i and relationship so like sorry if this is the wrong place I tried) Thanks
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