Misanthropy

10 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I'm a flexitarian
Actually I eat almost exclusively vegan but I don't tend to describe myself as such because for most vegans it seems to be an all or nothing kinda deal. Also I do use some animal products such as down pillows.

Do you have any specific motivation for being vegetarian @greyromantic kittay

Various reasons- stopped enjoying meat,never felt completely at ease eating meat when younger,want to reduce animal suffering.Health wise there are reasons to limit animal products. I think reducing suffering is something we should all strive towards. Having said that,I let people make their own decisions and try not to impose my views on others.I tried going vegan for awhile but switched to vegetarian (I have depression and anxiety problems so a compromise was needed. Having said that,I'm sure there are healthy vegans around). 

                       As for being flexitarian while eating a mostly vegan diet- makes sense. The vegan label when applied to people becomes tricky due to perfection being ultimately impossible. I think anyone that at least makes an effort is on the right track though.

So, I'm wondering how someone would potentially talk about being in a queerplatonic relationship,while also being romance repulsed. Staying with someone full time is also not an option.Basically I'm hoping to be in a friendship that's based on emotional intimacy as well as sensual benefits( I'm touched starved). This relationship will definitely fall into the friendship category,seeing as there are quite a number of boundaries involved. While I've had friendships with strong emotional intimacy present,I really do get snuggle struggles haha.Romance and sex are obviously off limits. I also don't want to feel like there is a dependency and control factor involved. Not trying to change the other person is of the utmost importance. And personal space obviously (I love alone time)

I've heard of want, will and won't lists etc and I suppose the easiest way to broach the subject is to talk about it, but would want some advice nonetheless (wow ,I actually ask for advice for once haha).

While I desire such a type of relationship,I also don't really think I need it to feel fulfilled ,so probably won't actively seek it out. I definitely am able to be content completely on my own if need be. It's kind of nice  actually. Still: touch starved and all that.But just in case such a scenario were to present itself by chance: What's the best way of communicating my intentions?

Definitely prefer cold temperature,I feel much more awake then.

Just curious to see how many vegetarian and vegan aros there are on here. I'm vegetarian btw 

Recently discovered horror author worth checking out: Charles L Grant. If you enjoy horror that's beautifully written and filled with atmosphere,then this "quiet horror"  writer might be of interest. 

" Past sunset in early February,the worst time of the year.Too far from Christmas and too far from spring.Too cold. Too quiet.The light,never strong,too soon gone.Trees without leaves,scarred bark,empty nests,fading into the dark; weeds along the roadside,trembling stiffly,shedding burrs,flaring in passing headlights,and fading into the dark;house lights and streetlamps and traffic signals growing brighter,growing brittle,trying desperately,and failing,not to fade into the dark.

No snow.

No wind.

The landscape grey and dead."

From "Raven" by Charles L Grant

Welcome! I'm agender and asexual as well 

Hi! 

On 4/2/2018 at 11:31 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Yes. I hate the idea of performing romantic affection, and I hate the idea of being tied to one person. It sounds like psychological prison. 

THIS.

The controlling aspect of romantic relationships really sounds awful to me: Being expected to act in a certain way,feel the same as the other person etc. Being around another person daily, and ending up becoming another person altogether just to please that person. Ugh I get anxious just thinking about it.

Some people have a fluid romantic or sexual orientation,so yes it's possible. Other people feel like their orientation is fixed.Another thing to remember is that people sometimes don't have the right words for their experiences, and may change how they identify later after coming to a better understanding of themselves. Having said all of that, I'm not very fond of "born this way" or "fluid" arguments for various reasons. Firstly,people should be able to identify how they want. Secondly "born this way" arguments make it seem as if there is something almost shameful about an identity,a "they cant help it" sort of attitude. I honestly couldn't care less whether someone feels they were born aro,ace,gay,bi,greyro etc or not. All I care about is supporting that person and accepting them for who they are.Some people have a more fluid romantic or sexual orientation. Others don't. Humans are complex at the end of the day.

Post about any horror related content here (horror films,horror fiction etc).

As a kickstart here are two horror authors worth checking out:

Shirley Jackson

Edgar Allan Poe 

I've always been wary about coming out but have realized that being as open as possible is best for communication purposes. People are far more likely to understand and be supportive if I am able to explain my experiences to them (without giving too much of a life story or trying to justify my feelings). Seeing as I am interested in being in a QPR, being open about being arospec (and ace) will hopefully assist me in communicating my intentions more effectively,thereby enabling others to better understand my experiences,while also helping me navigate my relationships with others better.

Hey everyone,I've started a new blog where I will be discussing the importance of aromantic (and asexual) visibility. Please feel free to check it out,there's a link on my profile page.Thanks!

PS if you are a horror nerd then my blog may be of interest as well

Welcome ☺

Welcome!

Hello!

Some people have a more fluid sexuality than others,so it's a possibility. 

Hope you enjoy your stay here

On 8/31/2019 at 5:57 AM, KymiNyci said:

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧(*´ω｀*)<(￣︶￣)>(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ( ͡°ᴥ ͡° ʋ)✧\(>o<)ﾉ✧♪～(´ε｀ )¯\_༼ᴼل͜ᴼ༽_/¯┻┻︵¯\(ツ)/¯︵┻┻ಠ益ಠ༎ຶ‿༎ຶヘ（。□°）ヘ⟵(o_O) (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)～(つˆДˆ)つ｡☆ᕙ(ಠ ਊ ಠ)ᕗฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾┐(´(エ)｀)┌ಠωಠ(๑´•.̫ • `๑)ミ●﹏☉ミ*･゜ﾟ(^O^)↝

くコ:彡

～>`)～～～ 

…ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

/╲/\╭(•‿•)╮/\╱\

 

<(￣︶￣)>

Exactly ?

I don't mind interacting with others in a professional context. Socially-as little as possible and preferably one to one.Then again I would be okay with moderate social interaction if the person "gets" me. This does not happen often of course haha

On my own for the most part ,with someone that can stay over every now and then as a long term arrangement (seperate sleeping spaces obviously).

The idea of someone else being in the same living space as I am daily freaks me out a little (okay more than a little),even if the person does give me personal space. 

I would be okay with staying on my own long term (assuming practicalities do not get in the way) should the "right" friend not come along though. 

1 hour ago, treepod said:

This hasn’t really happened to me (maybe a point of privilege) but I am often worried that sometimes after coming out to someone as a way of stating that I’m unavailable, that person could interpret it as a phase, something they can wait out until I get over my inhibitions or whatever. Maybe I’m just paranoid, but it feels like they don’t take me seriously. If I’m asked whether being aro/ace has to do with trauma or body confidence, that seems like a red flag...

I have actually been in such a situation unfortunately. Wasn't fun.Which is why I've decided to stop explaining myself. People can accept me as I am or they can leave haha

On 8/15/2019 at 8:14 PM, Abirchtree said:

Hello! This might be somewhat of a controversial  topic but before I go into it, I want ro make it clear I do not think aromanticisim is a mental illness in any way. I don’t think any sexuality is. And in my case, I don’t even think I can talk about an identity but more like an experience.

I’m 17 and identified as bisexual since I was about 13. I was a really horny early teen but at the same time I never really has crushes, fictional or real. I based my lavel on the fact that I didn’t have a fixed interest in boys (I’m a girl), so that for me meant a kind of “I don’t care about them specifically, therefore I can do anybody”. A few years have passed and two thingshave happened: I became depressed and I got a boyfriend. We’ve been together for 5 months now but the whole time I haven’t been really invested in the relationship. I do care about him deeply, we were best friends before we got together but he’s definitely more passionate about the “being together” than I am. We do kiss and cuddle and gold hands but I don’t vare for it much and mostly do it bc he wants to and sometimes I even get a bit uncomfortable. We’ve talked about it and he is super supportive and understanding but I still feel bad for not meeting his expectations. I also don’t want to do anything sexual with him, I physically freeze when he asks me to touch him but am still ok when he does it to me because again, I want him to get something out of hanging out with me. And I’m also not interested in anybody else, only in making and having good friends because I feel happiest being around a bunch of good people and not someone in particular. But I know I used to want a relationship and desire romantic and sexual contact when I was younger. So does anybody else have similar experiences of their sexuality and romanticism changing along with their mental health and can I even tie it to my identity?

Hmm interesting.You mentioned that you never really had crushes but then later talk about the fact that you used to want a relationship.Not sure if you want to elaborate on that? I'm not very fond of telling people how they should identify ,  theorizing why they identify a certain way etc. Having said that,you might want to ask yourself whether you knew about aromanticism or asexuality when you started identifying as bisexual.Many people simply spend years not knowing that identifying as asexual or aromantic is an option.Furthermore,you might want to ask yourself if societal pressure to be in a romantic/sexual relationship might be influencing your emotions in any way and what impact it had in  the past.As for being depressed,it doesn't invalidate your identity whatsoever.You know yourself best  Sometimes it helps to be brutally honest with yourself about your feelings,without judging yourself or being concerned with what others might think.Easier said than done of course.

As for having a similar experience- yes and no.I spent quite a number of years not knowing that being aromantic/arospec or asexual was an option.Societal pressure also made me try to convince myself that I was interested in romance and sex when I really wasn't. I'm not sure if you find any of that information helpful though.The only advice I can give you is to be as honest with yourself as possible while remembering to be kind to yourself as well. 

Welcome! Best of luck with the discovery process

Tell me how terrible I am.

Welcome!

10 hours ago, Ace Of Hugs said:

Honestly, I'm not sure if this is the right forum for me, because  I tend not to fit into simple categories, and that's made it very difficult to actually identify with any one group.

Basically, this is known:

• I'm a 50-year old touch-starved male (both by birth and gender preference) of Italian-American descent.

This is probable, but undiagnosed due to familial obligations:

• I have wrestled with mild anxiety and bipolar disorder my entire life, as well as some sensory sensitivities. 
• And I strongly suspect I'm on the spectrum somewhere.

This is where it gets confusing:

• I'm pretty sure asexual.  I'm not so much averse to sexual intercourse, as apathetic about it.  It's just not something I look for.
• I call myself quoiromantic, because I just can't understand what "romantic attraction" means.  I just can't wrap my brain around the concept.
• On the other hand, as my name suggests, I rather enjoy affectionate physical contact, in particular hugs. 
• And to make things even more difficult to categorize, I find the idea of bare skin-to-skin contact very appealing.
• However, my preference is to receive said contact from people of my gender, which would make me "homosensual", I guess.
• I also have certain aesthetic preferences regarding just what kind of male I want to hug and be hugged by, so that would be "homoaesthetic"?

It's all very difficult to explain, and gives me a headache....

 

 

Hello and welcome!It sounds like you could be considered sex indifferent asexual.As for the rest- attraction is rather complex , don't worry too much about it. Take things at your own pace.

24 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Does Uzumaki count?

Not sure,but think it might. Have not seen the film so can't really comment. Googled it though and it seems like it can be described as a  mix of psychological horror and body horror