The Angel of Eternity

1 hour ago, Flurkin said:

I keep having to go back and look over it because 'Is it forced? Am I spending too much time on the aro/ace thing?' and 'What if it's confusing?'

In my opinion, this doesn't matter, because when you write a story, you should always have your soul's desires and preferences at the forefront. If others don't understand the story and it doesn't become a New York Times bestseller, so what? You put your authenticity into your work and you answered your soul's yearning. As long as you can revisit your story with fondness and the ability to relate to it, that's all that matters, and you've achieved success.

Have you heard the term cupioromantic before? A cupioromantic person is someone who doesn't feel romantic attraction, but wants to be in a romantic relationship.

4 hours ago, Blake said:

You can tell her this, this is something that is real, this is knowledge about yourself that at the beginning you did not know. Do not expect to know every answer about yourself from the start. The path of self discovery is what makes us better people.

Exactly. OP, I would definitely recommend to sit down with your girlfriend and tell her, in detail, the evolution of your emotional discovery. Part of being a sovereign being is to be honest to yourself and to others. This is something I'm striving to do every day. If your girlfriend doesn't take it kindly, oh well.

14 hours ago, Guest Help said:

She's made comments in the past that if I ever left her she'd do very unkind things to herself.

Do you have her parents' contact info? If not, get it, and let them know if she tries to attempt such a thing.

14 hours ago, Guest Help said:

But we've been together for a long time and she clearly loves me romantically as well as sexually.

Based on this, I think it would be wise to part ways from her temporarily after you end it, so she can let her feelings for you subside. If she doesn't take time away from you before you two jump into friendship, I worry her feelings for you might linger longer, and might even get stronger, as I imagine she'd be contacting you regularly. After her feelings for you have subsided, I'd say it's safe to enter friendship. This one may be a bit risky, though, as her feelings for you could return, and I don't think there's any way for you to know for sure if she's over you romantically and sexually.

1 hour ago, Ice Queen said:

professional chess player ❤️

Do you want to compete for championships? I think that'd be a thriller with a whole range of emotions, from anticipation (from earning an opportunity to compete in a championship match) to excitement (from winning a championship) to sadness (from losing the championship to someone else).

On 5/15/2020 at 11:53 AM, ScarfOfSexualPreference said:

We had this group circle in my high school and we were talking about LGBTQ+ and there was this sheet we had to fill out with bars of sexual and romantic attraction, like a slider, cuz it's a spectrum.

Anyway, I still wasn't sure about anything yet so I said 100% female and left everything else blank.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused. What do you mean by "100% female"? That part kind of eluded me.

With my parents (and other family), I kind of feel that my ace and aro identities need to be secret. I don't fear their disapproval, etc, but the thought of telling them feels so wrong in my body.

With everyone else, it's neutral. I don't want to keep it a secret, but I don't want to blurt it out randomly to them.

I do not want kids. First off, procreation requires sex, and I am absolutely repulsed by sexual stuff (I'm asexual). I'd rather take a bullet to the head. Also, overpopulation is an issue today. I won't be contributing to that. I do, however, want pets (namely, a cat or two, and an African Grey).

One time, my dad and I (and maybe my sister) were at the movie theater, waiting for our movie to begin. We were watching the pre-movie commercials. Apparently, in one of the commercials, there was a girl, and my dad leaned toward me and said something similar to "she's cute, isn't she?" I replied, "not as cute as Katie [Katie is my really fluffy and cute cat]".

Now that I think about it, I look back on that moment with a little annoyance.

Hanging out with someone and talking to them, etc., is platonic to me.

Holding hands, kissing, flirting, etc., are all seen as romantic to me.

As an aroace, I'm sex-repulsed and romance-averse. If anyone were to express either romantic or sexual feelings toward me (or, God forbid, BOTH), I'd say to them something along the lines of:

"Hey, I'm a sovereign being, and I don't want anything to do with sex or romance. Please don't touch me."

On 3/10/2020 at 9:41 AM, Korbin said:

"So are aromantics sl*ts, then?" My mom upon being explained what an aro is after she asked. 

What about us aros who are also asexual? What does that make us? Prudes?

What's your dream career? Are you in your dream career now?

My dream career is in the waste and recycling industry. I would like to tackle recycling issues, like curbside recycling. I either want to start my own trash company, or get hired by Waste Management or Republic Services. Right now, I'm a once-in-a-while volunteer at my local recycling center, and I'm an aspiring recycling/waste advocate at my local Smith's (where I work as a Courtesy Clerk).

I'm excited to read what the career passions of fellow aros are!

P.S.,

To you asexuals, there's also a trash company called "Ace"!

I wonder if there are aros who are arophobic, and aces who are acephobic.

6 hours ago, Cheerio said:

remember

The word "remember" is only said twice throughout this song, but both times, it is so distinct and beautiful-sounding. I think you'll like it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5B1lOmU5LM

Godspeed, provost

Ascension, battle, war, channel, knowledge, hardship, freedom, dimension, Gaia

What are your favorite words (in any language)? If you list your words, but you remembered another word that you didn't list, always remember that there's nothing wrong with posting here again (or editing your original post). Also, there's no limit as to what you can put here. If your favorite word is vulgar and you'd still like to share it, I won't judge you. This will be a judgment-free zone to share words that tickle your fancy.

My favorite words that currently come to mind are "steadfast", "bereft", "Jerusalem", "Salem", and "impending".

1) When I was a little kid, I didn't like to be called handsome (I still don't). My parents would always tell me that one day, I'd like being handsome. Well, I'm 21, and I'm still waiting for that day to come (spoiler: it never will come).

2) I remember, in my elementary and middle school years, coming up with stories for these characters in my head. Their names were Papa Murphy (me), Drew Reilly, and Nico Matamoros (Drew and Nico were two people I knew in real life). The only times where romantic interest was involved in these stories was when girls tried to pursue Papa Murphy romantically, and he, Drew, and Nico always countered their romantic attempts. They usually countered the girls' romantic attempts by Drew, Nico, and others protecting Papa from the girls, and making sure the girls didn't get to Papa. Papa, Drew, and Nico always found the girls' failures to pursue Papa romantically, hilarious and entertaining! Anyway, other than that, nothing to do with romance was involved in these narratives. These narratives mainly involved Papa, Drew, and Nico hanging out at their elementary school in the special ed room, jumping from high heights on the playground, hanging out at each other's houses, wandering around on empty roads in the middle of the night, etc.

On 3/28/2020 at 4:36 PM, horriblegoose said:

Re-watching Gravity Falls and I forgot just how aro Soos is!

• Never dated (until Melody)
• Never really tried to date
• Never talks about dating
• Only tries to date because his grandma asks him to
• Doesn't know how to flirt (outright admits it)
• Uncomfortable and scared in situations where he's supposed to be romantic
• Is more comfortable with a computer game "girlfriend"
• Completely happy to have a long distance relationship, in fact more comfortable than hanging out in person

The first time I watched GF, I remember how creepy and upsetting I found the computer girlfriend (Giffany) episode. It stood out to me as one that really didn't fit in with other episodes and didn't belong. It felt forced and heteronormative and amatonormative. This time around, watching Soos through a different lens and realizing how aro all his actions come off as, I reacted a lot differently to the episode. It still does ring of heteronormative and amatonormative, but I realize how Soos is just kinda going with the flow and trying to make his grandma happy more than seriously pursuing dating for himself.

Well, I was intrigued by this Soos character to the point where I watched the episode where he went out with the real girl. Even though he and the real girl may be compatible, if I were in Soos' shoes, I'd tell his grandmother, "I don't want to date whether you like it or not!". Well, maybe I wouldn't be that aggressive about it, but I'm sure you get the point.

@Twig55 Do not let this person harass you! Get the police involved if need be! Honor yourself!

Set boundaries and speak your truth. Who cares what others think?!! Your opinion matters! Also, there's a guy on YouTube named Phil Good (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4P-B-CFmY1zAJTXBE8aoHA). Look him up. His videos can help you set firm boundaries.

You're going to love how you feel after that 24-hour dry fast (no food, no liquids)!

Dear Elementary School Me:

You liked the feeling of jumping from the highest heights on the playground, because it gave you the feeling of exhilaration and freedom. You'll be using that feeling (and the many truths that come with it) when you're in college.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I remember a couple years ago, a woman (who was in her thirties I think) said she thought I was cute (I was 19). I said bluntly to her that it was inappropriate. After my parents and I got home (my parents were present during my interaction with this person), they basically told me that I should take it as a compliment, because it's socially accepted as one. While I could see their view, I nonetheless got even more annoyed. I mean, if someone makes comments like that, even if they're hitting on me, am I supposed to smile and say "thank you"?!!

Exaggerated Situation:

Female [to me]: Hey, sexy! You're hot!

Me [to the female]: THAT'S INAPPROPRIATE!!!

My Parents [to me]: YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT, BECAUSE IT'S SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE!!! MOST GUYS YOUR AGE WOULD LOVE A GIRL TO TELL THEM SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

Me: [Fuming -- I excuse myself from the situation]

I chose "Definitely not" for both. I'm 100% satisfied to live by myself.

1 hour ago, leaflvr said:

hi! i’m allo-allo and have a specific situation that i would really like some aro advice on. So, i’ve had a crush on this guy for 3 years and i finally feel ready to ask him on a date. However, a mutual friend who knows i like him told me that he is aro. I don’t know what to do know. I’m not really sure what kind of aromantic he identifies as so would it be rude to ask? Would it be weird to not tell him i have romantic feelings for him? If he’s grey-aro can he date people? Of course if he doesn’t feel romantic attraction at all hopefully we can still be friends! Thank you in advance for helping my clueless ass out  

Hello, @leaflvr!

Here are some options:

1. You could rationalize not asking him out, and forever be left wondering "what if..."

2. You could be brave and go for it, and if he says yes, great. If he says no, at least you went for it. If he says no and comes out as aro in any way, shape, or form, the info from your friend is confirmed. If he says no and he's rude about it, he isn't worth your time, anyway.

I know, I know, accepting rejection may be a lot easier said than done. I can imagine that receiving a "no" from the person you like might feel like a big stab in the heart. However, try to take what that feeling may want to teach you, which will probably involve looking inward and asking "What did I like in this person that can be found within myself?" As I have learnt from experience, when you see a quality you admire in someone, you admire it because you, too, possess that quality. That quality is in harmony with your deepest, truest being. Your admiration of this quality is the desire of your truest being to be expressed in your everyday life.

Finally, when you're ready, continue to venture out and meet new people who are potentially date-worthy.

If it's short enough, why not type it out on this thread?