tiger_hoods12

I’m aromantic but I also identify as borearomantic. It basically means that I have a set romantic orientation (for me it’s aromantic) with an exception usually revolving around one person. When I found this term, I, at the time, had a really intense crush on this one guy at my school. But then, I thought I was aromantic and strongly believed so. I was really pissed and confused. Then I found this term and felt so much better. I knew I was still aromantic, but whenever I was around him it was always urges of wanting to be near him, love him, date him etc. which are things I never feel. In fact, they went away whenever I wasn’t around him. I actually switched between different terms before landing on and identifying with this one but I’m glad I did. I knew this was only going to happen once because I really don’t want those things.

I hate my dad sometimes. He never opens up. Anytime I need to vent, complain, or be emotional, all he does is just shut it down and try to lecture me. I swear, does he himself have any emotions? He never tries to be empathetic. I just need to be heard and have him validate my feelings but instead he ignores and goes straight to using logic. Which I get but there is a time and place for that, and it’s not now. Like literally this one time he caught me crying in my closet and I told him how I thought I may have depression. This man literally looks at me and goes, “If anyone should be depressed, it’s me.” LIKE WTF!! I’m still pissed about it. How could you say something like that to your own daughter who is clearly asking for help?! Just make things about you. I swear he never actually listens to me. Our conversations are always centered around him and what he thinks. He’s so selfish! And he wonders why I have a wonder time asking for help and opening up to people!

Hey, just wanted to say that Republicans are fucking stupid!! I truly cannot stand them! I live in a red state, and I have never been around more hateful and uneducated people in my life. Like cheaper groceries was enough for you to overlook the irreparable damage and hate that is going to affect people’s day-to-day life?!?! I can’t stand these people!!! These people and their ignorance!!! Like people really see immigrants as just illegals. That is so dehumanizing!! They truly don’t care what happens them, they just want them gone. That is so dangerous to think about. I will NEVER FORGIVE any Trump voters, Trumps supporters, people who didn’t vote, and people who voted for a third party. Cause now look at where we are at!!! You can say I’m being harsh, but these people don’t deserve peace. I don’t talk to anyone where I’ll and I will continue to do so unless they are an ally. I am so disappointed in America and so many don’t even think they did wrong!! I fucking hate these people! This country is so fucked and it’s their faults. They really don’t care about others. Just themselves. They don’t care about POC, LGBTQIA+ people, immigrants, or women. Just themselves. But it’s okay, because guess who also doesn’t care about the people and just themselves? TRUMP! I swear, he only cares about himself and his other rich white male billionaire friends. All these tariffs, cutting social security, jobs, and the Affordable Care Act will only benefit him. Leading to him getting more money. I He doesn’t not care about America. Let alone making it great again. News flash, it never was!! I cannot wait to see all these MAGA voters start working jobs that immigrants usually worked. I can’t wait to see the look on people faces when they realized the voted against their own interest. Every person who is in a marginalized community that voted for Trump are gonna fucking get it now. I’m not even mad, honestly. Can’t wait to see y’all suffer. Unfortunately, everyone else will have to suffer with you!

1. Home Alone 2. Polar Express 3. Gremlins 4. Klaus (There is some romance kind of but not much. Still highly recommend you watch it!)

Sometimes I’m open to being in a relationship. I’m 90% aromantic and 10% romantic. I have experienced a crush before and because of that I am kind of open into being in one. Only because ever since that one crush, I’ll get romantic sometimes. But in reality, I won’t actually pursue someone. The aromantic in me, is like “That’s too much work.”

Maybe this is just me, but I am so immersed in the worlds of Arocalypse, AVEN, being wrapped up in my own thoughts, and liking being alone that I honestly forget people are actually out here wanting to be in relationships! I know that sounds stupid, but really! I’m so used to doing my own thing, not thinking about those things that when others talk about the need/want to have romance, like truthfully I go, “Oh, right!”

Song came out when I was nine years old. It spoke to me on a NUMBER of levels! No joke, it was my favorite song for the LONGEST time!

Just now realizing that I think I did this too. It was back in kindergarten and everyone was telling me who their crush was. They asked me who I like and I originally said no one. Everyone seemed shocked and continued to ask me. I didn’t understand and still don’t understand why they all cared so much when we were all only five years old. Anyway, I got tired of people asking so I just picked a random person to like. Well, it wasn’t completely random since I was careful who to choose because I knew they were going to ask specific questions about the guy. So I chose someone I did like (on a friend level) and was interested to get to know. I actually really tried to trick myself into liking him. I mean I remember thinking he was cute because he wore glasses that made his eyes look super large, but I don’t think I ever liked him on a romantic level. But I knew that I would need some type of proof to show my “affection.” So I tried to make moves on him. During story time, I would sit next to him and place my head to his shoulder to rest on. I even tried holding his hand, blowing him kisses, and even winking at him during class. You know, despite me not actually liking him, five year old me was a huge flirt and did not hold back. Probably because I had nothing to lose lol 😂! However, I only did this once and never again. This first time was too exhausting to keep up the lies with. After that, any time someone asked if I liked someone, I was completely honest and said no. I kind of just thought that at some point in the future I’ll get a crush and there was no need to force/rush anything. Then I found the term aromantic and then was like “oh.”

It’s not bad. A lot of people go through a questioning period. I did. Mostly with my romantic orientation. I previously thought I was ace/aro then it changed to greyromantic, then demiromantic, then aroflux, to cupioromantic, to greyromantic again, to preromantic, then back to greyromantic, until I finally circled back to aromantic again.😅 It was a confusing period, but necessary nonetheless. It’s perfectly normal for people to go through this regardless of their orientation. It’s important just to take your time and be comfortable knowing that identities can change later on.

Despair by Leo. I deeply resonate with this song. I am aromantic and I have experienced a crush before and this is exactly how it felt. I wish I found it sooner, it would have really helped. Meanwhile, it still resonates with me because after experiencing that crush, my feelings about romance has shifted. I still feel this exact things whenever I or someone else brings up the idea of me being in a relationship with somebody.