nonmerci

I remember this manga, Darling in the Franxx. The concept is cool but the amatonormativity and sexnormativity was big. Like it is so ingrained in the writers mind that they haven't realized how inconsistent it is that in a society where romance and sex were forbidden, kids would think attraction is normal (not saying attraction is not normal of course, just saying that in this context, you find a character talking as if every boys were attracted to girls).

Yeah, the place where I live is very queerphobic. Last year the school did an event for 17th May, some kids destroyed the posters we made and said shitty things behind our backs (they weren't brave enough to say it to our faces as we were adults, but I think the teens who helped reported it to us). I think this generation is split with people who are very open minded and on the other side, people who are the opposite. It was just a clarification.

Not as bad in my country but from what I read, even if denying adoption based on marital status is illegal, some agencies will see the person is not in a hetero couple and will immediately put their folder aside, even if the person recieved the authorization to adopt (the people who gives the authorization are not the same as the people who take care of the children). The stigma around medicalized procreation for single women is even harder though (I don't think it will be denied as it was made legal, but people will judge you more I think), so I still prefer adoption even if I think it will be harder.

Well, I also was born in the internet, my family got it when I was something like 10 or 11. I still didn't find out until I was 23. I think it is not only about internet but also how we talked about it. For years I've only see the word "aromantic" used as a synonym of "psychopath" talking about characters like Voldemort or Light. And I really thought this word meant "psychopath" at the time, until I find out asexuality, which was not easy either cause I've only seen it used as jokes and I thought it meant "someone with no sex" (despise the fact that in my language, we have two different words for "can reproduce asexually" and "no sexual desire"... and everytime Google autotranslate it, it still choses the word for the wrong one... I also remember someone who wanted to do good and support us and use the wrong word during all her speech...). The asexual community was the first time I heard the right used of aromantic. And as @Jot-Aro Kujosaid, it makes it harder for aroallos. It is only recently that I've seen people started to say it outside of the community. OK, to be fair, maybe it is also because I started to watch other kind of videos lol, as a teen I only used YouTube for music. But still, a few years ago, you were unlikely to find any aro ressources if you googled "never been in love". This is not the case anymore I think. So yeah internet has a role, I think most of us find out thanks to it. But I don't think it is the only explanation. I think people find aromanticism easier simply because our community did a great job at increasing our visibility. So thanks the community!

I personally plan adoption. My point was to say it is harder for us, even if there are way to do it, so it is not a benefit to be a-spec here.

I put aroace but in my daily life I say just aro, and only use ace if it is relevant to the conversation. I suppose one day I'll drop the ace label entirely but I am not there yet. I think this statistic is biaised because aroallos are less likely to discover aromanticism. I would not be surprised if the statistics was more something like 50/50.

I mean, you can be allosexual and not want children, and be asexual and want children. I do and being both aromantic and asexual is not an advantage here. I plan to adopt and that's not easy. Though yeah, being asexual, you are less at risks to have an undesired pregnancy. But yeah, I wouldn't change my orientation if I could. Being aro is cool.

Maybe ask her why she struggles so much, so you can know if it intentional or not (at some point, when people do that a lot, it could be because they don't respect your identity). Just the other day I was reading a comic about a non-binary person, and there were a part about correcting people : the author had struggled to correct people ar first cause they don't want to bother them or look like they annoy people for nothing. But then someone point out that it is putting them in a very uncomfortable situation, while correcting people would not make others in a situation as uncomfortable. And when they start to correct people, it goes well. Qo my advice would be : don't hesitate to correct your friend everytime she uses the wrong name and pronouns.

Talk about how it makes you uncomfortable and is not ok. And if they keep going, well... find more accepting friends.

Actually I think in their mind we are supposed to feel sexual attraction, we are just supposed to not act on it. Cause if we don't feel it, we can't resist it. Not having sex is seen as a virtue cause it is supposed to be hard, but if you don't want it, then it is not hard and there is no merit to it. At least, I think this is the logic.

I want to claim Japan as the aro country. They gave us some dramas now with aromantic people, which makes them the King of aro representation.

Japan also gave us Koisenu Futari a drama about two aroace women who ends up in a QPR.

You can be sure even if you don't date. I never date and I am sure. Remember that alloromantics go on dates because they are romantically attracted, and not to become romantically attracted. It is attraction, then date, not the other way around (except if they do things like blind dates or spoed datings, but that's not the typical case). So if you never feel romantic attraction, it is a big sign that you are on the aro spectrum and dating will not change that.

Are you fricking young? Yes. Does it mean you can't be aro? No. A lot of people already had their first crush at 15. Nothing stops you from ID as aro for now and change label later if you need to. Cause the problem when we wait to "have it set it stone" is that it never is : people will always tell you you are too young, until the day they tell you you are too old. So don't think about it and go woth what you are feeling right now.

The concept is cool but I have no use of it. The only relationships I need to distinguish are friends, coworkers and acquaintances, and what I expect of it are the same that what society expects, so no need to define these terms myself.

Why do someone made a quiz like that? I suppose it presented itself as quiz fror trans people? Thay last sentence. "I'm going to deny your existence but I wish you well", the hypocrisy.

I am lucky, we don't talk a lot about that seuff with my friends... Except with the one who is complaining cause her mother tries to organize an arranged marriage for years, but, well, she us escaping it, not wishing for it, so we understand together just well. I think it is best, if you are comfortable, to explain your situation, even if you don't use the word "aromantic". If not, they'll just keep assuming. I agree this is very annoying. People try to be supportive when they say that, but real support os when you listen to what the other wants.

Of course you deserve it! And if you are not broken at all. You jusy love differently and that's OK! It is not is not less or more, it is just different. Just like, I don't know, an alloromantic person that is aplatonic and can love romantically but not platonically. It is jusy different kind of love, and diversity is great! I can't answer for you but usually, this is because of amatonormativity : we are told we should love and that we should do it in one way, so we deal with self-hatred when we don't. But there is nothing to hate and there is nothing we should do. We feel what we feel ans there is nothing wrong about it.

Diana from Anne with an E - aroallo Jack from Rise of Guardians - aro (I never thought about his sexuality but I don't know, just aro sounds right) Merlin from Merlin - aroace

There is Koisenu Futari. It is a Japanese tv show with two aroace protagonists and I think they end up in a QPR together. This is official.

Never heard of it but that's awesome!

I'm exactly the same. Some aros tend to replace romance with friendship in the amatonormative discourse, which doesn't destroy the discourse, it just changes the object. And I don't like when other kind of partnerships as used to humanize aros like "we don't have romantic partners but we have other partnerships don't worry", it reminds me as aces were like "we don't have sex but we have romance, so we are still humans". And outside of the aro community, I saw some people using "self-partnered" instead of single (term coined by Emma Watson), and I don't blame them if they relate to the term, but like, it just reminds me how you can't escape the pressure to be partnered, if even feminists coin terms that makes you partnered when you are single... I wish the aro community advocate more for all types of partnerships and non-partnerships to be valid instead of creating a new norm.

Wow that sucks. She has to accept that what she wants id not necessarily what you want. What she is doing is toxic.

It sounds like depression. If you can't afford therapy, try to open up about it with your closed ones, they can at least offer emotional support. I also think there are free hotline you can call for help, you'll find the one in your country if you google them. Making researches and finding internet support groups can also help. I had my biggest depression when I was doing a job that wasn't good at (well maybe I could have been good at it if I had tried it at a different time,, but that's not the question). The depression disappeared when the job changed. So it is indeed possible that you stop feeling like this if you job situation changed. However, it may took more time for healing completely, as depression can damage your self-esteem. It was the case for me. But you see, now I am perfectly happy. So yeah, you won't always feel like that, it gets better.

A coworker told me all the aphobic things you could think about when I told her I was aro. My favorite was the last one : "there are name for so many deviances these days" (I don't even think she realized it was an insult). For the rest it is not necessary something people say but they expect you to fall in love and get married.