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#AromanticProblems

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Aro problem: "Eh I guess I am straight?" "Actually wait no, I am not particularly attracted to girls/boys then I must be gay/lesbian" "Wait not that too, I am not exactly particularly attracted to boys/girls too... bi then?" "Ooooh Pan makes sense." "...wait. You can be not attracted to anyone? Nice." "...I miiight be demi actually. I really like getting close to people and only then feel some strong pull towards them" "...Okay but what is romantic attraction? Isn't crushes just overreacted obsessions?" "Wait that does not seem like it..." "What???? Is????? A???? Crush????" "Ok I am Quoiromantic then because again wtf is a crush" "...hold on what do you mean not being able to understand what a crush is a sign of aromanticism?" "How do you even know you are aro for sure?????????" "...Uh, I might take it on and try it, I guess...? Wouldn't hurt...." "Holy hell everything makes SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW????" "Lmao yea I am an aro and I %9000 don't get this romance stuff so huh."

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On 6/16/2017 at 10:36 PM, Dodecahedron314 said:

Me at pretty much every music with words ever: "The music is so good...but the lyrics are so alloromantic...what do?" #AroMusicNerdProblems

 

I actually don't have a problem with romantically themed music, provided it's done in a way that I find interesting (case in point: Lorde's new album). I enjoy a bit of poetry set to music as a means of communicating the diversity of inner worlds different people experience. Inhabiting an allo-romantic person's head for an hour or so via a well-crafted pop album can be an interesting experience. I think the problem with a lot of the 100% mainstream radio pop (aside from it often being both musically and lyrically boring to me!) is that it usually only focuses on the euphoric 'high' that comes along with romance and ignores the negative or darker aspects of it (e.g. the emotional fallout after that 'high'). But the more interesting (to me at least) music out there doesn't do that (e.g. PJ Harvey's songs are full of that side of things!).

 

Although I do agree that more diversity of themes would be nice - not every popular song (or even just 99% of them :P) needs to be about romance!

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On 6/25/2017 at 8:45 PM, NullVector said:

 

Although I do agree that more diversity of themes would be nice - not every popular song (or even just 99% of them :P) needs to be about romance!

Truth. Two of my all time favourite songs are about going to space on a dangerous mission (Europe: The Final Countdown) and flying a fighter jet (Cheap Trick: Mighty Wings), among other things. Why's it always got to be about romance or sex when there's much more epic mind-adventures to go on? 

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On 6/25/2017 at 9:45 PM, NullVector said:

I think the problem with a lot of the 100% mainstream radio pop (aside from it often being both musically and lyrically boring to me!) is that it usually only focuses on the euphoric 'high' that comes along with romance and ignores the negative or darker aspects of it (e.g. the emotional fallout after that 'high').

I found “You Belong With Me” an unusually negative song about romance by Taylor Swift. So it happens, but very rarely.

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Another simple solution to music being too romantic is to listen to music in a foreign language.

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On 19.6.2017 at 11:46 PM, ApeironStella said:

Video game OSTs and Anime OPs/Endings are like only thing I listen by now so I feel this....... Also OST remix too.

Basically my entire music playlist consists of video game/series/films OSTs :D and piano music!

 

On 20.6.2017 at 4:50 AM, Coby Asola said:

Being asked who you like and having people not believe you when you say no one.

I never understand this question, because I "like" a lot of people. If a friend asks me this my head goes :"Well you're my friend so I like you! Isn't that obvious!?" but then I remember that they probably mean something else... BE MORE CONCRETE PLEASE!

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On 7/4/2017 at 4:16 PM, Momo said:

Another simple solution to music being too romantic is to listen to music in a foreign language.

Japanese and Russian FTW!

 

I don't understand anything at all in those languages.

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Stranger, or someone whom I don't know well or whose presence I'm not used to starts showing signs of a crush on me. My natural reaction is to RUN FOR LIFE. However, the more familiar I am with the person, the lower my level of unease and fear. (because when it comes to a buddy/friend, we can talk about it on a whole different level, you get it)

 

#aromanticproblems

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Always worrying that people interpret you being nice as flirting :/

 

Same thing with cuddling, for me it's just a way of showing platonic affection to my close friends but I often worry that they think I'm romantically interested :/

 

#aroproblems

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4 hours ago, Aava said:

Always worrying that people interpret you being nice as flirting :/

 

Same thing with cuddling, for me it's just a way of showing platonic affection to my close friends but I often worry that they think I'm romantically interested :/

 

#aroproblems

 

Me every day.

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On 6/20/2017 at 3:19 AM, Mark said:

Don't listen to the lyrics too closely or try to use some creative interpretation (including parody).
With a fair proportion of songs about "love" there's little or nothing in the lyrics to indicate that this is romantic rather than sexual love.
e.g. "Gimme Gimme" by Abba,  "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, Touch Me by Cathy Dennis, Naked in the Rain by Blue Pearl and Rooms On Fire by Stevie Nicks could be describing a passionate ONS.

OK but I just found the song "Don't Fall in Love" by Danko Jones  and it's amazing.  The most aromantic song I've ever heard, I love it. 

 

It's already on my feel-good Playlist on Spotify lol.

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On 21/06/2017 at 1:19 AM, DeltaV said:

Maybe you should listen to different genres. Like Metal (nothing too soft and no “Gothic Metal” or you'll get loads of songs about love). Probably Industrial is also very safe.

Industrial is pretty good, and the lyrics are generally so abstract-poetic-prose that the meaning is unclear anyway. S+M A Love Song by Kidneythieves is not a love song, I don't even know if it is mutually enjoyed, but there are many verbs. 

 

On 04/07/2017 at 11:46 PM, Momo said:

Another simple solution to music being too romantic is to listen to music in a foreign language.

yes. All the time. Japanese music saved me in high school and Korean pop reminds me so much of the boy bands I grew up hearing (lots of costume changes and good dancing which seems to be completely missing from western male singer's music videos now) but I don't understand the lyrics so every song is good to sing along to! 

 

 

Seeing my friends happy when they get into a relationship then when I meet the new significant other I am the only one that spots warning behaviours, then no one believes me when I point out budding emotional manipulation or abuse because I don't know what I am talking about or I'm obviously jealous and trying to sabotage their relationship, then my friend gets offended when I offer a couch any time no questions asked.    Perceptive #aromanticproblems

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I'm not playing "hard to get" I don't want to be got

 

No, i'm not waiting for that one "perfect person", I'm not waiting for anyone.

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Someone flirted with me for a month, which was fine I guess. She then stopped just last week. I have no idea what's going on with her right now, but I'm pretty sure it counts as an #aromanticproblem.

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11 hours ago, briesplease said:

I'm not playing "hard to get" I don't want to be got

Nor am I interested in doing the getting thing.

 

11 hours ago, briesplease said:

No, i'm not waiting for that one "perfect person", I'm not waiting for anyone.

However I do want to share my life with a variety of "imperfect people"....

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Having to explain aromanticism to random people on a bus because it's socially acceptable to inquire about a stranger's 'status' as a conversational point. Or, if you simply state 'I'm not interested in a relationship', having to endure them ramble on about the importance of 'making yourself a priority' to 'be a better person in a relationship'. All with a growing suspicion that they have more than a casual interest in you...which is inevitably proven correct when they either ask for your number, or want to set you up with a son/grandson/nephew (sweet old ladies are the worst for this...)

#aromanticproblems 

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Trying to hang out with friends on the one day I'm back in town (after moving 6000km away), and they all have dates. So I guess I'm just going to...see no one and go out by myself? 

#aromanticproblems

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8 minutes ago, ladyasym said:

Trying to hang out with friends on the one day I'm back in town (after moving 6000km away), and they all have dates. So I guess I'm just going to...see no one and go out by myself? 

#aromanticproblems

 

That's ridiculous.  >:(

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Being told that we are being special snowflakes and just making up a word to hide that we are ugly and no one wants us.

 

#aromanticproblems

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On 14/12/2017 at 5:36 AM, ladyasym said:

Trying to hang out with friends on the one day I'm back in town (after moving 6000km away), and they all have dates. So I guess I'm just going to...see no one and go out by myself? 

Personally I would call them out about being crappy friends. The only thing keeping me and my friends apart at the moment are family commitments for Christmas and work because most romantic partners don't mind weird hours for time together. Plus it is not like their romantic partners are unwelcome for most meetups. 

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On 13.12.2017 at 11:15 PM, byebyeshadowlands said:

Being told that we are being special snowflakes and just making up a word to hide that we are ugly and no one wants us.

 

#aromanticproblems

Which is funny in hindsight to me because I precisely avoid spending a lot of time on my outlook partly to avoid having anyone who could hit on me or have a crush on me because the idea that someone could think of me that way feels icky to me and I am quite prone to being guilt tripped so it is bound to be a disaster if I actually were to look ~attractive~ and had to deal with others'.

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32 minutes ago, ApeironStella said:

Which is funny in hindsight to me because I precisely avoid spending a lot of time on my outlook partly to avoid having anyone who could hit on me or have a crush on me because the idea that someone could think of me that way feels icky to me and I am quite prone to being guilt tripped so it is bound to be a disaster if I actually were to look ~attractive~ and had to deal with others'.

 

So true. I'm glad that I look very child-like and I actually try to higlight that with my style. I could never wear anything too sexy or feminine because I hate the attention I get. 

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