Hello there~

[ApeironStella]

Heyya~ Call me Ira. I am actually glad to find an aro forum (an active aro forum, to be more specific. There are some smaller, dead ones I could find) as it kind of gets... tiring at some point, trying to deal with tumblr crud andd I am not exactly much for AVEN either (despite also being an ace.). I seem to fall on a bit more extreme end at aro-ness, I get some strong squishes but it is never really... romantic? 

 

I also find that I relate less to ace side of myself as a problem than aro side. That's my personal experience of it, of course, but where I live woman are often both oversexualized and also expected to be not as "focused on sex" and keep their virginity until "one true love" comes and they marry. So, I find that I always felt (and still do feel) a lot more disconnection with my friends and society when it comes to their romance obsession.

 

Which is, also kind of funny because I am the type of person who doubles down on something she can't as easily understand and can spend YEARS trying to understand it- so for a while, I used to write a lot of romance stories/have romance roleplays with a friend but constantly only found myself thinking that we were really just writing some attachment issues and obsessions than an actual, what is supposed to be "holy grail of emotions". I also recently realized that just how aro and ace I tended to write the character I rp as- nothing I consciously do but I simply??? Seem to not think about flirting etc naturally and my choose of characters often tends to be more childish or mature types who don't go around flirting (perhaps I felt more comfortable writing them as they weren't too off from how I would and could see one act so that was only natural?) so until a friend commented on how my characters seemed to only RESPONSE whatever their character was doing when it comes to such issues and not really take the first step, just going along with it, it also made me feel a lot more certain that no, I really, reaaally don't understand romance and crush stuff other than an analytical level.

 

So it kinda gets tiring. I also find that I get quite tired of ace side of aroaces being always put a lot more upfront than their aro side often times, finding a lot more ace stuff while searching for aro stuff than vice versa, it kind of feels like a fresh air to find SOMEWHERE it is actually discussed and people who can relate and not as likely to pull what is an aro problem to "this also applies to X". Sorry for almost rant-y intro, I just. Have lots and lots of aro feels okay.

 

 

So, hello there to y'all~

[Aava]

Welcome! Hope you have a lot of fun here

16 hours ago, ApeironStella said:

so until a friend commented on how my characters seemed to only RESPONSE whatever their character was doing when it comes to such issues and not really take the first step, just going along with it, it also made me feel a lot more certain that no, I really, reaaally don't understand romance and crush stuff other than an analytical level.

Ahh I know how you feel! Happens to me as well, especially when it wasn't supposed to be a romance rp and the other person just kind of turns it into one  that always confuses the heck out of me