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Awesome Things About Being Arospec

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Being relieved of the responsibility of handling a relationship and not having to constantly maintain their happiness or make sure not to hurt their feelings etc

 

Also being relieved of the burden of going through a breakup/heartbreak etc

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On 4/19/2017 at 7:16 AM, Cereal Tendencies said:

Being relieved of the responsibility of handling a relationship and not having to constantly maintain their happiness or make sure not to hurt their feelings etc

 

Also being relieved of the burden of going through a breakup/heartbreak etc

Aromantics can get heartbroken, too.

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I don't quite know how to describe it but...freedom.  for one thing, we don't have to deal with all the drama, sacrifice, and heartbreak of romantic attraction and relationships--I, at least, feel much happier having my time and energy free for more important things.  this brings me to my main point: my appreciation for platonic love.  I can't be sure, but I really feel that I treasure it more than most allos.  I love my best friend more than anyone in the world and more than I can imagine any romantic attraction could match.  honestly, it sounds like a nightmare.  platonic and sexual attraction are more than enough for me, not to mention my own company. 

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Never being dragged to a crappy event because 'boo' wants to socialise (heard this one from an Aro/Ace Youtuber :D)

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Not giving up awesome opportunities like an exchange year because "can't leave bae" ;)

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On 6/28/2017 at 0:08 AM, aro_elise said:

I don't quite know how to describe it but...freedom.  for one thing, we don't have to deal with all the drama, sacrifice, and heartbreak of romantic attraction and relationships--I, at least, feel much happier having my time and energy free for more important things.

 

Exactly! I never want to live life feeling chained down and forced to put excessive time and effort into a romantic relationship. *shudders*

On 7/24/2017 at 10:02 AM, hippiecat said:

Not giving up awesome opportunities like an exchange year because "can't leave bae" ;)

I agree, I never want to miss cool experiences and opportunities.

 

Additionally, I feel like people, (usually women) tend to put aside a career as they settle into a relationship, get married, and start a family. I couldn't imagine why someone would give up a path that they have traveled along and studied in for so long just to become a housewife (the reason is twuu wuvvv of course!!). I know this isn't as much the case today, but even at that, having to invest such a large portion of your time into the twitterpated disaster that people call marriage sounds like a ball and chain to not only your life aspirations but a hindrance to happiness.

At least to me. :P  I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a biiit against settling down in a romantic relationship. I'm perfectly happy with no romantic commitments and lots of ice cream!! :aroicecream:

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3 hours ago, meesemouse said:

Exactly! I never want to live life feeling chained down and forced to put excessive time and effort into a romantic relationship.

 

3 hours ago, meesemouse said:

as they settle into a relationship, get married, and start a family.

 

For those who want to pursue a QPR many of these points actually still apply, especially if you want a live-in QPP. Personally I'd love to have a relationship. 

 

I feel like the important bit here is having kids/starting a family. Kids are a big commitment, for both parents. Part of me wonders what the family dynamics would be like if two aros in a QPR had a child (either because they were allosexual or adoption).

 

I don't personally want kids, and my QPP is sex adverse. But I wonder, in all the wonderful variety of life out there if there's a pair of aros out there who do and how that worked out for them. 

 

Me, I want to travel and take my partner with me to see the world together and she agrees. A relationship is definitely not the end of interesting things to do! 

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7 hours ago, meesemouse said:

At least to me. :P  I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a biiit against settling down in a romantic relationship. I'm perfectly happy with no romantic commitments and lots of ice cream!! :aroicecream:

 

Same :D:aroicecream:

 

4 hours ago, Momo said:

For those who want to pursue a QPR many of these points actually still apply, especially if you want a live-in QPP.

 

That's very true! I sometimes get everything about being aroace, being single and not wanting kids (for example) mixed up in my head.

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On 8/1/2017 at 0:06 AM, Momo said:

For those who want to pursue a QPR many of these points actually still apply, especially if you want a live-in QPP. Personally I'd love to have a relationship.

 

I feel like the important bit here is having kids/starting a family. Kids are a big commitment, for both parents.

That makes a lot of sense! After mulling it over a bit more, there are definitely similarities between qprs and regular romantic relationships, which I did touch on earlier (rather vehemently haha) but didn't notice the connection. For me, I guess I'm just not that interested in relationships (not really sure if I'd want a qpr). I'm rather curious, though, as to where the concept of families fit regarding romantic and sexual attraction. Any insight you guys have or good threads you know of?

On 8/1/2017 at 0:06 AM, Momo said:

A relationship is definitely not the end of interesting things to do! 

I think I've been stuck in the opposite mindset of this due to just my past experiences and observations. Regardless of whether a qpr may or may not be my thing, it's definitely a comforting thing to hear!

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On 8/3/2017 at 0:56 AM, meesemouse said:

That makes a lot of sense! After mulling it over a bit more, there are definitely similarities between qprs and regular romantic relationships, which I did touch on earlier (rather vehemently haha) but didn't notice the connection. For me, I guess I'm just not that interested in relationships (not really sure if I'd want a qpr). I'm rather curious, though, as to where the concept of families fit regarding romantic and sexual attraction. Any insight you guys have or good threads you know of?

I guess it very much depends on how you approach relationships, because QPRs are very diverse--some are considered by the people to be in them "like dating without the romance", others are considered to be like the dynamic between siblings who aren't related to each other, others are like the kinds of best-friendships that everybody promises they'll have in grade school but few people ever really achieve, still others are like something else entirely. And all of those different kinds of relationship, while still being lumped into the category of QPRs, have radically different implications for what a family structure based on them would look like (e.g. the partners, say, raising a kid together would obviously probably be more likely in the first and last types mentioned than any of the others).

 

Family structures in general are something totally different, though--I studied this a bit last year in my gender and sexuality studies class, and it turns out there are a lot of different ways to define what a "family" really is. There are some cultures with a lot of communal parenting components, where extended families share parenting duties, and so different people who are unrelated by any sort of bond based primarily on attraction might still be considered close family members due to their siblings or parents in such a way that replaces something like, say, relatives-in-law. There are also some places where it's normal for people to contribute in different ways to different households and consider themselves a member of all or none of them, so they might live with one group of people, eat with another, provide financial support to a third, have an attraction-based relationship with someone in one group or none of the groups or no relationship at all, etc., which opens the door to considering what exactly defines a "family"--is only one of these groups this person's family? Are all of them? Are they all different kinds of family, or the same? Why? These are often really nuanced and situational questions, but just interesting to think about.

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finding a community I can connect with! also never being bothered with unrequited love. from what I hear it can be very painful and emotionally destroying

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On 2017-08-01 at 2:43 AM, meesemouse said:

Exactly! I never want to live life feeling chained down and forced to put excessive time and effort into a romantic relationship. *shudders*

I agree, I never want to miss cool experiences and opportunities.

 

Additionally, I feel like people, (usually women) tend to put aside a career as they settle into a relationship, get married, and start a family. I couldn't imagine why someone would give up a path that they have traveled along and studied in for so long just to become a housewife (the reason is twuu wuvvv of course!!). I know this isn't as much the case today, but even at that, having to invest such a large portion of your time into the twitterpated disaster that people call marriage sounds like a ball and chain to not only your life aspirations but a hindrance to happiness.

At least to me. :P  I don't know if you can tell, but I'm a biiit against settling down in a romantic relationship. I'm perfectly happy with no romantic commitments and lots of ice cream!! :aroicecream:

 

In my country women almost always stay at work. But still I see that it's more common for women to give up at least some of their career to the relationship. Women more often choose work with shorter commutes than the guy. And they tend to take more of the parental leave.

 

I like the idea that I can put my career first every time if I want. I can move to another city if I find an interesting job there. I could choose a job where I'd have to go out and mingle every evening if I wanted too. I can start my own business without having to worry about anything else than my own needs.

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-KNOWING WHAT SQUISHES ARE (because honestly everyone needs to know this term)

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Aromanticism is cool, like our “cake-analogue” :aroicecream:. Because whatever positive words are used to describe romance, “cool” isn't one of them!

 

It's also sweet, because it makes one take friendship far more seriously. So, sugar and ice, isn't it nice?

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On 8/1/2017 at 0:06 AM, Momo said:

I feel like the important bit here is having kids/starting a family. Kids are a big commitment, for both parents. Part of me wonders what the family dynamics would be like if two aros in a QPR had a child (either because they were allosexual or adoption).

 

This is actually kind of where I'd like my life to go.  I'd like a QPP/life companion/Permanent Platonic Partner TM and I'd like a kid or two.  I don't know if I'd be able to commit to adopting without a QPP though since raising kids nowadays is so expensive and time consuming, especially when working full-time. :(  

 

I feel like a kid raised by at least one, if not two, aros/aces would grow up to be the most logical person ever about romance and sex and orientations and consent and the LGBTQIA community and everything related, rotfl.

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-not having to share the bed or bedroom with anyone else

 

I'm not sure if this is just me, but prior to realizing my aromanticism, one of my worries was explaining to my future partner why I don't want to sleep in the same bed. Seriously I sleep terribly if I don't have my own bed and I'm super paranoid so I won't want to move because then I might annoy the other person in the bed, etc. etc. I've learned well from sleepovers that I NEED. MY. OWN. ROOM. Luckily, I don't have to worry about this anymore 😏

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This one is very specific to me, but: I like being aromantic because it matches that I'm asexual. There are some complications that may arise if my romantic and sexual orientation were vastly different from each other, so I'm grateful that I'm a bit "simple" to be aroace. Not wanting a sexual relationship or a romantic relationship is easier than wanting only one of those things, for me 🙂

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4 hours ago, OttR.Invictus said:

This one is very specific to me, but: I like being aromantic because it matches that I'm asexual. There are some complications that may arise if my romantic and sexual orientation were vastly different from each other, so I'm grateful that I'm a bit "simple" to be aroace. Not wanting a sexual relationship or a romantic relationship is easier than wanting only one of those things, for me 🙂

Same.

 

And alsI,  I like to escape all the questions and anxiety : "Does he loves me bac?  "Does that smiley means something or not"? "How can I flirt with him?"

 

And I like to escape jealousy and conflict and heart ache

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A lot of people murder each other over romantic love... so I'm thankful for my increased life expectancy 😁

Also glad I don't have to pressure myself into looking pretty all the time in case I "meet someone".

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