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Awesome Things About Being Arospec

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From what I could tell this hasn't been done yet, so I thought it would be fun to make a thread about all the awesome things about being aromantic. I'll start:

 

- Sometimes coming out can be quite entertaining when your existence confuses people

- Having an unbiased opinion when giving others relationship advice, often resulting in simple solutions they might not have thought of

- Having a free pass to be as affectionate as you like once you're out, because your friends know that you aren't romantically interested in them

- Having the ability to come out without using labels if you don't feel like being a walking dictionary

 

This one is kind of unrelated but I also like being knowledgeable about LGBT+ identities and being the go to person to educate others about them

 

What are your favourite things about being arospec?

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The aro-spec community. Awesome.

 

And of course, the puns.

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I second this

2 hours ago, aussiekirkland said:

Having an unbiased opinion when giving others relationship advice, often resulting in simple solutions they might not have thought of

I always wondered why my friends always came to me, the resolutely single one in our little group, for dating advice, until I realized it was because I was able to see through all the romantic BS, did not experience the emotions that were clouding their minds (I suspect that the neurochemicals that create the feeling of limerance are just as mind-altering as any illegal drug), and was able to help them figure out how to get through the various relationship crises.  I was also not afraid to tell friends whose relationships I believed were starting to go toxic that they should bail out.  

 

 

I believe that we are less likely to fall victim to catfishing and other romance scams.  We tend to look at romance with an analytical, critical eye, so when someone tries to quickly get very close to us using romantically coded means, we will invariably back off and examine the situation skeptically.  Strip away the romance, and the scam is revealed.

 

 

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-Feeling like your life lays ahead of you open, without the obligatory check points of dating, marriage and children

-Not having your happiness depend on whether one specific person loves you or not

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Arocalypse, of course!

 

And not worrying about whether people will ever love you romantically. I know so many people who think they'll be literally alone for their entire lives just because they don't have a romantic partner right now, in high school...

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11 hours ago, Holmbo said:

-Feeling like your life lays ahead of you open, without the obligatory check points of dating, marriage and children

-Not having your happiness depend on whether one specific person loves you or not

 

I second this! It is a bit daunting to have no predefined roadmap. The template most people apply to their lives just won't work for us. We have to define our own paths, which is a bit overwhelming, but also very free.

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No unrequited crushes? Squishes aren't really about monopolising someone's affections so our chances of getting what we would like are better. There is still rejection but it's not as black or white as in case of romance 

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- Being Aro gives you so much more time to spend on other stuff. From what I have seen, relationships are very time consuming.

- When people complain about their spouses, thinking about how you don't have to deal with that sort of stuff.

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17 hours ago, Dodgypotato said:

-A clearer sense of what the word 'love' means..

Yeah. FOOD! :P:D

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I thought of another one
-Having different priorities than the norm makes it easier to question other expectancies of society too. Like knowing that I don't want to live with a partner makes me really think about how I want to live and what I want to do with my time. I think people spend a lot of time doing what they think they should do and just going through automatic steps society tells them they will enjoy without really thinking how they feel about them.

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6 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I thought of another one
-Having different priorities than the norm makes it easier to question other expectancies of society too. Like knowing that I don't want to live with a partner makes me really think about how I want to live and what I want to do with my time. I think people spend a lot of time doing what they think they should do and just going through automatic steps society tells them they will enjoy without really thinking how they feel about them.

 

Yes, that's very true. Eventually you start to realize that society is mainly setup for the purpose of coupling and procreation. It's a self-fulfilling benefit. The more people there are, the more stuff we can build, or think up, or practice the faith of, or create as a human race. There's a huge benefit for a particular establishment (such as Catholicism, or the city of Houston, or the carpenter's union) to increase it's numbers. So, it's ingrained in these establishments to push towards the goal of making more babies and multiplying it's numbers.

 

That might have been a bit of a tangent. :)

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For me, my main advantage is that my period of questioning led me to research and talk to people from a lot of queer identities, making me much more knowledgeable and accepting of LGBTQ+ issues.  I think it made me a better and more understanding person overall, so I'm glad that happened. 

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Valuing my sibling bond more, because I'm designed to have my strongest bonds be platonic. 

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On 10/30/2016 at 9:39 AM, Dodgypotato said:

Icecream, papos, and puns.

What is the aro lore about ice cream :aroicecream: (sorry, don't know)? Feel stupid, please explain. I know about the AVEN cake, though! :)

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Being appreciated as the one person who'll "always be in their life", by my closest friends. Turns out even people with partners can be saddened by losing friends due to circumstances and relationships. Having people be grateful for the fact that I value and always will value our connection greatly, makes me incredibly happy.

 

Being called family by people who accept me, even though we're not blood related or an item. Having people in my life who're open to other forms of family, outside the nuclear stereotype and being able to experiences those deep bonds myself is really fulfilling. Even if I can't help but think of them as temporary and fleeting...

 

I also agree with @Holmbo. Not being able to feel something as fundamental as romantic love really teaches you that nothing is 100% for granted or "the right way". I feel like I'm more open minded for it. Even if society at large doesn't really supports/enables my future goals xD 

 

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Friends: *are playing Never Have I Ever* *someone says something involving romance*

Me: *acquires extremely smug expression* *exaggeratedly leans back in chair* *tosses tater tot into air and catches it in mouth*

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Less worries about another person romantically and more time to myself is nice while still enjoy the thoughts and entertainment that comes with it only being in theory.

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Being able to spoil the shit out of my friends by doing random nice things for them, and not having them question whether it's because I have a crush on them

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The upper hand you get in social interactions when people can't pin you down.
"oh that guy is not your boyfriend, I'm so sorry for assuming"

"oh you're not a vegan? but you always bring vegan food at lunch"

I'm an aromantic flexitarian mystery.

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Winning the "two truths and a lie" game against people who don't know your orientation, by having your lie be something tied to romantic attraction. (Eg having a crush on someone.)

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