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What You Thought You Were Before You Identified as Arospec


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I thought I was a standard straight but kind of a jerk because things like hookups and marriages of convenience were appealing. xD I remember thinking to myself "what's wrong with you? Like someone back already so you aren't alone!" 

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I have indentified as bi/bi with commitment issues or phobic of love.. hmmm, or also just decribed myself as a "relationship-virgin" more like a joke since I dont really like the virgin

label or just simple a person who isnt good with romance. as facebook put it "its complicated"

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I never really thought about it. I thought I was just normally straight if anything, having been "interested" in a couple people and finding girls aesthetically attractive. After being on AVEN for a while I went with hetero grey ro, deciding that was a better fit than anything else. There was a few times not too long ago where I was wondering if I was leaning towards being more aro though.

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I thought I was straight because that's the "default" and I've never had any crushes, although whenever someone asked what my sexuality was, I would usually reply with "straight, probably," because I guess I could tell that I wasn't quite. I think if I had really started to investigate that before I realized I was aro I would have thought that I was pan, because I generally experience the same level of aesthetic attraction to all genders.

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I never really thought about it until my first romantic relationship, so I just kind of identified as straight by default (both in romantic and sexual orientations) for a long time.  After finding out about asexuality and the existence of romantic orientations, I was questioning for a long time and didn't really identify with much of anything until I settled on aro. :)

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5 minutes ago, deltaX said:

I never really thought about it until my first romantic relationship, so I just kind of identified as straight by default (both in romantic and sexual orientations) for a long time.  After finding out about asexuality and the existence of romantic orientations, I was questioning for a long time and didn't really identify with much of anything until I settled on aro. :)

 

Yeah. It took me finding aven to finally settle with aro :P

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I thought I was straight (because no attraction to girls), but a straight person who had serious issues or who needed to find True Love who would Unlock my Romantic Feelings or some other Hollywood crap. 
 

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I used to think I was straight. Then I found out I was ace, but still identified as heteroromantic. A couple months later I realised something was off about that as well, so I started researching stuff again, and came to the realisation that I was aro as well as ace.

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I always knew I definitely wasn't straight, at first I thought I was gay and then bi and then pan, until I finally realized I'm aro haha. I never cared for romance but I didn't know about aromanticism so I thought romantic feelings would come to me eventually.

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I've tried pretty much every label there is, haha. Obviously I started with straight (that didn't last very long though), then bi (because girls are pretty too!), pan, gay... (because sex with guys actually didn't seem very appealing. If I had to choose, then I'd pick girls.) Only learned like two or three years ago that asexual and aromantic are options as well. And also that aesthetic, sexual, and romantic attraction are completely different things. 

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"Straight by default" was my go-to way of identifying. Plus, my love of men's fashion made me think I was straight, though it turned out that I just like wearing nice masculine formalwear myself. (In fact, once I shattered the notion of "straight by default," I had to let go of "cis by default" too.)

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Honestly, at first, I just thought I was a late bloomer and assumed I would eventually start to like the opposite sex. I thought my "squishes" (which, to me, sounds kind of stupid, but that's the most widely used term) were all crushes. And I found out they weren't. They were barely even "squishes" because of how low intensity they were. And then, when I realized I didn't like the opposite sex, I started to think I might be gay. But that was also false. So I kind of ignored everything and told everyone I was straight until I found out that aromanticism and asexuality existed. Otherwise, I would probably think I was either straight or bi right now.

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my attraction varied wildly?? at first i thought i was straight as a 'default', then a lesbian once i discovered there were orientations other than het bc at the time i identified as a girl + just?? thought girls were pretty?? and then thought i was bi/pan for a while, bc i found ppl of any/every gender cute, tho i didn't feel any actual romantic/sexual attraction. once i found the terms ace/aro, i started identifying as those!! tho occasionally i get crushes on boys, i don't really get them in the way other ppl describe

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I just kind of went with what everyone told me, "one day you'll think of girls differently" so before I just thought i was a really, really late bloomer. Some people labelled me as gay since I wasn't chasing after girls and "didn't tell anyone my crush". I thought crushes were a joke for so long, especially when people were saying they got crushes on fictional characters. Once I realised no-one would accept me saying I didn't have a crush whenever someone would ask me I'd just pick whoever was the popular person to have a crush on at the time. I thought there was something wrong with me for so long till i found the term aro

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Before I realised I was aromantic I thought I was asexual. I actually dismissed aromantic at the time because I tried to imagen what it would be like to not experience romantic attraction but I just couldn't. Turns out that's because I was trying to remove an experience from my life I had never had, hence finding it impossible to do.

 

And why did I think I was asexual? I have no idea, it's a complete mystery to me. (Although if anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them)

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