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Have you ever been in a relationship?

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I have been in several romantic relationship. It wasn't really because I loved them (obviously or I wouldn't be aro XD) but more because it was what was expected of me and I didn't really mind being in one. Anyway they never lasted long and I never exepected them to last so...

 

Now I'm in a QPR and I hope this one last ! I'm more confortable in this one than any of the other 😊

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I technically had 2 high school relationships, but they both lasted a week and ended because they would try to hug me or take me on a date (you know, ~dating stuff~) and I would freak out and dump them. For the most part I would say I've never had a relationship and I've never done ~relationship stuff~. Mainly because I don't want to lol. 

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ive been in a romantic and a queerplatonic relationship, i knew i didnt feel attraction; but i still had a desire for those relationships only,,, as it turned out,,, im not good in relationships.
I get too uncomfortable, i don't show as much affection because it feels to serious and like its something i need to do; rather than want, and don't like getting affection from partners, because it still feels like something im obligated to accept rather than want to. Pretty much as soon as we stopped dating i went back to being overly affectionate with my ex bf.

Every so often i still crave a qpp, i think because on one level i want that commitment; but on another level it doesnt work out for me. :( 

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I have been in multiple romantic relationships and presently attempting a QPR with a homoromantic woman. My past pattern that is on repeat is:

 

have intimate platonic need/feel platonically lonely... start romantic relationship because they are cool or I enjoy their company... ok for the first "best friend" bit but as it gets more romantically intense I start to feel suffocated... break up with them usually badly with no explanation, the usual clueless "it's me not you" argument... after around 6-12 months have intimate platonic need/feel platonically lonely...

I'm starting to feel like a record on repeat 😥. I'm romance-repulsed aro but far from aplatonic unfortunately. I crave the best friend relationships I had back before they were sidelined. 

Basically if I'm with a man I end up feeling like a straight man who enjoys their company trying to function in a romantic relationship with the man. The same in terms of any other gender, with a woman feel like a straight woman etc etc. It never ends well.

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I had one, and got burned pretty badly by him. He simply would not take my "no" for an answer. But idiot that I am, I ended up caving in. He tainted several of my dreams as well- when I said I'd like to be a librarian, he was all, so you can do the hot librarian thing then? (That really hurt.) Also, he all but called me evil the first time I tried to break it off. The straw that finally broke the camel's back was when he said, "We're going to turn those quick no's into slow yeses." I really hope another woman doesn't get stuck with him. It completely put me off getting into another relationship, and is muddying the waters for me as to if I really belong here.

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I've been in three long term relationships. I haven't hated it. There's a lot about a relationship I like: I like sex with someone I know well enough to explore a lot of different fantasies, I like emotional intimacy, I like having a friend who is very close to me and knows about all my stuff. And all of my relationships have been pretty unconventional, very chill and based on friendship and in the case of the last two, non-monogamous. And there hasn't been a lot of... flowers or moonlight walks or any of the more overtly romantic stuff.

 

Two of my first longer relationships I just ended when I felt they'd run their course. It sounds kinda terrible but I felt like I'd explored this person and seen what there is to see, and just didn't see the point in staying any longer. A bit like I'd visited a nice museum or something and it was good but now I was ready to go do something else? We weren't sexually super compatible with either of them, and my initial feelings of loving the feeling of being liked and wanted had faded. My last partner was a bit different, I felt like we just had a deep friendship and companionship and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him. But ironically enough, he left me because he says his romantic feelings had faded away. I felt kinda very betrayed at that initially. I guess it was so different for me than for him, I kinda didn't get the whole romance thing in the first place but the companionship was still pretty good for me.

 

But right now I'm exploring having friends with benefits or long-term lovers. I don't feel the need to get in another relationship really, at least not for now. Maybe with another aromantic person it would be nice to start some sort of a partnership, where both of us are on the same page in that we like each other's company but don't feel the rush or butterflies or rollercoaster or whatever love is supposed to be. I'm done feeling like I'm not enough for a partner, like I'm cold and letting the other person down by not feeling enough.

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