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Cassiopeia

Anyone else feels like they are betraying the "Gay Agenda" because you don't want to get married?"

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It's just everywhere, and if you come out as someone with same gender attraction, the first question will be whether or not you wanna get married. If you say no, they going to use you as the poster person for the "good gays" who know where their place is...and as the dirty gay who only wants sex.:eyebrow: This political debate just so tricky to navigate as an aro. 

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5 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

It's just everywhere, and if you come out as someone with same gender attraction, the first question will be whether or not you wanna get married. If you say no, they going to use you as the poster person for the "good gays" who know where their place is...and as the dirty gay who only wants sex.:eyebrow: This political debate just so tricky to navigate as an aro. 

 

Twenty plus years ago when I pointed out that marriage seemed to be something on an expectation/obligation in the "str8 scene" I was basically laughed at by gay marriage advocates. Sounds like I have been proved right, even though I'd prefer to have been mistaken.
The idea that someone is intrinsically "good" because they want marriage (or monogamy) is nonsensical. With there being plenty of non-monogamous forms of RELATIONSHIP. Even if someone does only want sex so long as they only do it by mutual consent what's the problem?
IMHO any "betrayal" is on the part of LGBT+ organisations failing to recognise and acomodate diversity.

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1 hour ago, Mark said:

The idea that someone is intrinsically "good" because they want marriage (or monogamy) is nonsensical.

 

Those two words were in quotation marks cos I used them ironically. You know those conservatives (even in the LGBTQ+ community) who preach the idea that the right way to be gay is in private, and we should keep quiet and be invisible so we don't bother straight people, therefore straight people will respect us. They basically want to ban Pride parades, gay marriage, tell people that coming out is exhibicionism. 9_9 Its a twisted logic, they clearly have some self hate to sort out, and I really don't want to be used as their token "good gay" person. Or be associated with them in any way.

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29 minutes ago, Cassiopeia said:

 

Those two words were in quotation marks cos I used them ironically. You know those conservatives (even in the LGBTQ+ community) who preach the idea that the right way to be gay is in private, and we should keep quiet and be invisible so we don't bother straight people, therefore straight people will respect us.

Sounds like they need to see this

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Where I live there is a difference between the lgbt+ community and the queer community.

The queer community is in general agenst mariage, while the lgbt+ want marriage, so being frank I have not seen that being agenst marriage as a paticular "aro things" (even alot of straight people dont marriage) and neither have I felt marriage was somehow going agenst lgbt people.

 

however it's obvious that I do get to offend people within the mainstream lgbt+ movement when I say I think marriage is stupid and I don't want to do it. And yes I do get the "bad represent thought" because I know where the focus is and that i'm going into the zone that makes "straight people unconfortable if I talk to much" it was actually one of my great concerns onces that I would be "a bad representation" because i'm aro and don't do all this typical stuff so many want. but now i'm not very political active so it's not a part of my concern anymore.

 

A thing that also annoyes me is same-sex marriage is often shown to be symbolic and a way for people to ignore lgbt people or overlooking real facts like how lgbt people in the country really are feeling. often it seams like if you can get mariage then its a good country to be lgbt person, and its an extremly narrow way to look at it ignoring every detail from violance, to discrimination and even ignoring the question on whenever or not people in that country want marriage?

 

 

 

 

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8 hours ago, Natkat said:

however it's obvious that I do get to offend people within the mainstream lgbt+ movement when I say I think marriage is stupid and I don't want to do it

Whilst I have no interest in marriage I feel it should be permitted for people (including polyfi) who want it. But any legal or financial privileges should be kept to a minimum. Possibly not funding marriage (and divorce) using taxpayers' money at all. (Including marrieds having insurance to cover all the legal costs of a divorce.)

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Actually I feel the LGBT and Queer communities are the ones doing the disservice to themselves but putting the huge emphasis on marriage and ignoring other problems. It's proof gay people and  straight people are not different.  Both groups emphasize one thing only: being in romantic relationships. What about housing and employment equality? Those issues take a back seat to marriage equality. It's the same in the asexual community. If your discissions aren't about romantic orientations and finding a partner you don't belong. 

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I feel that they have betrayed the agenda of civil unions. 

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On 26.6.2016 at 5:06 PM, Just like Jughead said:

Both groups emphasize one thing only: being in romantic relationships. What about housing and employment equality?

 

Now that you said this, I think you're right. I always thought my country might be behind, because we "only" have recognized gay partnerships, that get a little less, but still some legal benefits. But while this is ridiculous and we should just equalize them already (seriously, just do it, my dear government. It's so overdue. Germany is almost 90% PRO LGBT god dammit), we have almost all other LGBT rights checked out. That's because, after WW II, we had a lot of activists and protesters. Since the country wanted to distance itself as much from the nazi's as possible, they immediately abolished all anti-gay legislation after Germany became united again.

 

From there on out, protests focused on being treated humanly and equal under the law, which led to anti-discrimination laws in employment, housing, hate speeches and indirect discrimination. We still haven't done nearly enough, but as far as the process goes, I think we've followed a good order (aka, first abolish all anti-gay laws, establish all anti-discrimination and transgender laws so everybody can life their lives free from government interference, and then focus on gay marriage).

 

We should still do better, though. I can't tell you how frustrating it is that we still haven't legalized full gay marriage and full joined same-sex adoption (we have a recognized partnership, one-parent adoption and joined stepchild adoption rights). Just_legalize_the_full_package_already! There's nothing standing in your way! But yes, as far as priorities go, I think establishing human rights should be above marriage... Not everybody want's to be married, but no one wants to be fired or homeless for their orientation.

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