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paporomantic

Negative masculine traits

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51 minutes ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:

Long-tongued lesbians enjoy this privilege too :P

Spoiler

 

No not really. One does not just go into wlw spaces with long nails. Nails are a major thing...its like a collective fetish or something.

Having long nails is like having an erectile dysfunction but its obvious to everyone. You get looks.

 

(/tmi)

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3 minutes ago, Cassiopeia said:
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No not really. One does not just go into wlw spaces with long nails. Nails are a major thing...its like a collective fetish or something.

 

Spoiler

Once a longterm partner is found, though, there's a chance that the partner will allow to grow the nails ^_^ Anyway, thanks for the explanation and gl with finding a permissive steady partner! :hugs:

 

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36 minutes ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:
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Once a longterm partner is found, though, there's a chance that the partner will allow to grow the nails ^_^ Anyway, thanks for the explanation and gl with finding a permissive steady partner! :hugs:

 

Its is still humiliating?

Also its slightly inconvenient?

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On 22/06/2016 at 0:32 AM, aroMa(n)tisse said:

The 'female privilege' that I'm most jealous of is the 'moral right' to wear long nails... though I wouldn't call it an advantage because short ones are more practical.

My own laziness is the reason I have long nails (I also really like the feeling of having smooth nails). So I chalk it up to that to get away with it. Although, noone really seems to notice anyway.

 

TMI: Genitals

 

This isn't really a negative masculine trait, but one thing I don't really understand about cis men is their obsession with penises; both their own and other guys. It's like these guys tie the majority of their masculinity and self worth to them. Even homophobic guys seem to care more about penises than I do, and they're the ones who think that liking penises is bad or something. And then there's those teenage boys who draw penises just everywhere. Why? What is so great about them? I don't get it.

 

 

 

 

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@Zemaddog TMI

Spoiler

The fear of emasculation would be considered merely a type of the fear of losing the body integrity if not for Sigmund Freud, who famously thought that the former fear plays an important role in the psychosexual development of a boy. His theory made its way into the popular culture.

 

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@aroMa(n)tisse

TMI: Same reason as my earlier post.

 

 


That still doesn't explain why guys like talking about their penis, a subject I find inane and boring. Sure, Freud had some absolutely bizarre theories, but even if that wasn't the case, cis men would still enjoy talking about their penises. Especially about the size of their own penis.
 

 

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8 hours ago, Cassiopeia said:

Congrats :D:clapping:

 

Being ace and trans sounds like an eldritch horror of a social nightmare.

 

Thanks! I'm pretty early in my transition and don't pass at all, so I don't have much to share on the topic yet. While perceived as a girl, people never really prodded about my orientation, and I think people just assumed I was straight. Now that I don't shave anymore, I occasionally get mistaken for a lesbian, but that's all whispers and people trying to prod my orientation out of my best friend, so nothing direct. I never try to intentionally hide my orientation by feigning interest or anything, but I imagine that people might prod more directly once I'm perceived male. I'm probably going to seem even weirder because I don't think I have a libido, even now that I'm on T and have been anticipating the spike in sex drive that T is known for. 

 

Still, being aromantic as well as asexual means that I at least get to sidestep the clusterfuck that is dating while trans! (I'm sure there will still be bullshit associated with being aro and trans too, mostly associated with claims that dysphoria is causing my aromanticism, even though I know that it isn't.)

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8 hours ago, Zemaddog said:

My own laziness is the reason I have long nails (I also really like the feeling of having smooth nails). So I chalk it up to that to get away with it. Although, noone really seems to notice anyway.

My uncle used to grow his nails out, then sharpen them into claws. xD **totally not off-topic**

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On 6/24/2016 at 0:05 AM, Zemaddog said:

My own laziness is the reason I have long nails (I also really like the feeling of having smooth nails). So I chalk it up to that to get away with it. Although, noone really seems to notice anyway.

 

I tend to keep my nails on the longer side too. Because I'm lazy mostly. And nails are useful sometimes!

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22 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said:

 

I tend to keep my nails on the longer side too. Because I'm lazy mostly. And nails are useful sometimes!

I keep mine super short so that I don't claw myself to death! I think I keep mine shorter than anyone I know.

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On 7/16/2016 at 5:06 PM, Dodgypotato said:

I keep mine super short so that I don't claw myself to death! I think I keep mine shorter than anyone I know.

I should remember to do that. How often do you cut yours?

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4 hours ago, Pufflehugs04 said:

 

I should remember to do that. How often do you cut yours?

To be honest I have a horrible nervous habit of chewing mine.. You can tell how stressed I am by how short they are. But out of a stressful period, all the time - I don't let them get longer than a couple of millimetres. I can't really give a number, I don't keep track. Just anytime I've noticed they've grown.

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25 minutes ago, Dodgypotato said:

To be honest I have a horrible nervous habit of chewing mine.. You can tell how stressed I am by how short they are. But out of a stressful period, all the time - I don't let them get longer than a couple of millimetres. I can't really give a number, I don't keep track. Just anytime I've noticed they've grown.

Well, mine are quite long right now. I haven't cut them in about a week.

 

 

On 6/24/2016 at 0:05 AM, Zemaddog said:

My own laziness is the reason I have long nails (I also really like the feeling of having smooth nails). So I chalk it up to that to get away with it. Although, noone really seems to notice anyway.

 

TMI: Genitals

  Reveal hidden contents

This isn't really a negative masculine trait, but one thing I don't really understand about cis men is their obsession with penises; both their own and other guys. It's like these guys tie the majority of their masculinity and self worth to them. Even homophobic guys seem to care more about penises than I do, and they're the ones who think that liking penises is bad or something. And then there's those teenage boys who draw penises just everywhere. Why? What is so great about them? I don't get it.

 

 

 

 

On the TMI:

 

 

I have no idea. As someone who semi-regularly showers with other men, penis is penis and everyone has them. When it gets down to it, no-one cares about what you have downstairs. Just get clean and go. Look if you must, but don't compare or comment. 

 

8===D

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On 20/06/2016 at 10:19 AM, paporomantic said:

I'd say that drinking strong alcohol, smoking and swearing are rather masculine habits, though they're present in both genders.

I don't mean to nitpick but I don't think these are great examples of masculinity. Most women I know either drink strong alcohol, smoke or swear (often two or three. I'm personally a fan of vodka, rum and swearing haha). Although, I think that has a lot to do with Australian bogan culture and social standing. This is a very common subset of habits among both men and women of lower socioeconomic standing in Australia. But I think this just goes to show how useless gendered stereotypes are, as they are heavily dependant on cultural influence.

 

On 20/06/2016 at 3:11 PM, Louis Hypo said:

I find any gender roles complete artefacts that should be put behind glass in the British Museum!

Couldn't have put it better myself :P

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On 21/06/2016 at 0:41 AM, Mark said:

There's the idea that men should be obsessed with team sports such as football.

Another great example of how gender roles are as diverse as culture (and not at all meaningful :P)

On 12/09/2016 at 11:25 PM, Kaiger Pufflehugs IV said:
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I have no idea. As someone who semi-regularly showers with other men, penis is penis and everyone has them. When it gets down to it, no-one cares about what you have downstairs. Just get clean and go. Look if you must, but don't compare or comment. 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

8===D

 

This!!! Why are so many straight guys obsessed with penises!? And the boys at school drawing penises everywhere was so annoying!

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4 hours ago, aussiekirkland said:

Another great example of how gender roles are as diverse as culture (and not at all meaningful :P)

This!!! Why are so many straight guys obsessed with penises!? And the boys at school drawing penises everywhere was so annoying!

Gender roles are weird. As much as I'm trying to become a better man (which can be defined as a gender role), I do it in such a way that "masculine" things are balanced with "feminine" things, by using Atticus Finch as a rolemodel (him having many "feminine" traits (compassion, empathy, and so on). And as for why penii are obsessed over: no clue! They're primarily wastepipes after all.

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Yeah... that obsession with their nether-regions perplexes me too.  Why do guys talk about their penis so much?  Why do they think us female-bodied types actually want to see their penis?  What is with unsolicited dick pics?!?  Ugh!  Gross!  I'm sorry, but from a purely aesthetic sense, the penis hasn't got much going for it!  Its downright ugly, really, and it's primary function is waste disposal.  Why send photos of *that* to unsuspecting women?  If guys really wanted to impress me, they should have sent photos of their hands (I love the look of hands... so functional but so expressive, and often lovely - much better subjects for photos than a penis). 

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not to bring the convo back to nails or anything but 

On 22/06/2016 at 0:32 AM, paporomantic said:

The 'female privilege' that I'm most jealous of is the 'moral right' to wear long nails... though I wouldn't call it an advantage because short ones are more practical.

This is one thing I find attractive on males! okay I did know some classical guitarists in the past, and maybe I was a teensy weensy bit OBSESSED with vampires when I was young (pre-Twilight when vampires were 30-40 year old men with long hair and claws). When I see anyone with even length natural long nails my respect metre for them goes way up 'cause I know how hard that is to get and maintain.  

 

This is a definite negative, and I have only seen men do it in real life but I don't know if it is particularly masculine, is eating in bed then leaving the dirty dishes and food remnants around the bedroom! Sure, I have seen mother's day breakfast in bed scenes on tv but that is vastly different from finding a half eaten crumpet that is so old it has gone green under clothes on the floor. Even my normally neat freak male friend puts all his teabags into cups he then hides behind his computer screen until they fuse into one thing and you can pick up the cup using the teabag string! How can they live with old food filth so near their bed!!!! 

 

also muscle flexing. Like why? yes you have arms. At university there were a group who would stand in the middle of one of the lawns and flex at each other and expect to be admired. 

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I find this thread a bit… bizarre. A mix of very serious issues and [tongue-in-cheek-remarks | petty complaints] (not so sure?) like “caring about big engines”  …  and now teabags!

 

The thread “Things you've never understood about romance” is comparatively very reasonable. :)

 

I also don't think that neglecting your bedroom is regarded as gender-conforming for men, rather it's neutral in that regard. But it's regarded as unfeminine for a woman to not keep your place clean.

 

The fault lies probably in the opening post: “annoying” is such an incredibly low bar… Maybe we should rather talk about “harmful”, okay? And it's also unclear if the focus should be on the social pressure to conform or on the behavior itself.

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@DeltaV yes, blame the low bar for us treating it as finishing line tape rather than the pole vault. 

I don't know if this topic is saveable if you want to pull it to serious waters with "harmful traits being expressed or expected by society". 

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