What kinds of physical touch do you like/dislike? (Poll)

[MargauxTheArtist5]

In the aftermath of my first and only romantic relationship, I can't even think about cuddling or kissing someone on the lips without thinking about the way my ex-boyfriend treated me. He did not hurt me, but he didn't seem to understand that because I am autistic, I can't stand French kisses or kisses on the neck. Even when we broke up the first time (we were still friends at that point), he still wanted to cuddle with me. At the time, I just went along with it, because I didn't want him to be upset. Looking back to when we first met, I think he took advantage of my naivety, because I told him that I had never been in a relationship before then. Every time we kissed, he was a bit too passionate about kissing me, so it was always a mini sensory overload for me. Of course, I didn't think to tell him that I didn't like it, but I am glad that I ended the relationship when I did. I even told him that we couldn't be friends because I felt that uncomfortable around him.

 

But I still like hugs from my friends and family. Other than that, I don't like being touched.

 

EDIT: I've recently discovered that I love platonic cuddles, but it depends on who I am with.

[NotHeartless]

I'm rather averse to touch in general (yay, stereotypical aromantic guy).
For example I don't like kisses on the lips unless they are a lead up to sex. Anything else repulses me.
I can hug close friends and my parents with a good feeling but with strangers I feel (very) uncomfortable.
It's rare I feel the desire to cuddle. I don't mind cuddling with animals but with other humans I often found myself getting annoyed at the closeness.
Especially in bed, I just wanna role over and have my space.
I often enjoy closeness without touching someone - only sitting next to a friend, feeling their presence can feel so nice.
That being said I assume the more I trust someone/feel emotional connected, the higher is the chance I will enjoy physical touch.
 

[yester]

Idk; hugging is not uncomfortable for me but I don't find it to be necessary in my platonic relationships, you know? Maybe I'm just awkward when initiating hugs so I just...don't? I really don't know, but my friends know me as the kid who doesn't like hugging people.

 

Kissing is nice in theory but seems gross/uncomfortable in reality.

 

I like the idea of cuddling, but idk how I'd feel about doing so in real life.

[lonelyace]

Holding hands for some reason makes me very uncomfortable. Hugging is great and I enjoy it, but I don't like to cuddle unless I know the person really really well. There are maybe 2 people in the world that I feel comfortable cuddling with and even then its more of sitting close together than actually like, holding each other. I've never kissed or been kissed but the thought of doing so just makes me vaguely uncomfortable.

[Arostar]

I would feel a bit annoyed about kisses but I'm not sure if I really hate it that much.

Cuddling and hugs seem ok depending how emotionally and platonically close I am with someone.

I'm usually fine without it.

[Misanthropy]

1. Sometimes 2. No. 3. Yes 

[The Angel of Eternity]

I only like hugs from family members or very dear friends who are male-bodied. If they're female-bodied I feel it's too "intimate" and the fact that I don't like to touch females like that.

Kissing and cuddling? I don't like to do those things with people but I could do those things with furry animals!

[dsm2k1]

Well, i have never been cuddled so I can't say through I get the feeling I won't like it too much.

[blackwatch]

I only have the desire to hug my close friends.

but when I imagine myself cuddling and kissing with someone it feels good, so I definitely will like to try it someday in the future.

[Raphael]

All of these depend a lot on context for me. I hate hugging strangers—I need to have at least strong affection if not genuine emotional intimacy to be okay with hugging, and even then it's usually more for their benefit or as a way to express or respond to emotions of some kind. There's only one person in my life rn I'm okay with cuddling (my best friend, who is honestly more of a QPP), and that's... It's nice, but it gets a little boring, and it's mostly for her benefit. I don't hate it with her, and sometimes I like it, but it's kinda meh. I have mixed feelings about kissing. It grosses me out if I think about it too much or if it's too...wet. But I also like kissing (including French kissing) in certain more physically intimate contexts. I've also done it for other people's benefit outside that context, and that's fine, but it pretty much only has the one purpose if it's for my benefit. Then again, I'm romance favorable and allosexual, so. Might be a little different for me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Arostar]

I tend to dislike kisses although I try my best to tolerate it if it's not done with romantic intentions.

Quick and needed hugs are fine but I'm usually not the hugger and rarely ask for one.

I'm not sure what cuddling is supposed to be like so I have no clue whether I'll enjoy it or not.

[Cottoncandy]

i'm more than ok with hugs and cuddles, cheek kisses are also fine because of culture, but i perceive lip/neck kissing as more of a sexual thing.

[aroalien]

i'm a very touchy and affectionate aro ghsdjfhsjhjsfh i like hugging anyone that might need one or just cause!

[D0NN13_D1N0]

hugs are good if they are occasional and with someone i'm close with, sometimes it's just nice for comfort or to show someone i care abt them:) I really don't get hugging people you just met and doing it all the time it can be so awkward:/ Cuddling is the same ig, sometimes me n my friends just kinda lie on each other and idk i just really like the contact. As for kissing i've never seen the point it just looks gross

[The_BigGay_Aro]

Hugs only from close people and if it involves cuddles it's only a want from a squish 

[WrenIsNotMyRealName!!]

On 6/16/2016 at 2:42 AM, brsajo said:

I've always thought of cuddling as like an upgrade or more intimate version of hugs, so I'm surprised to see that more people are okay with cuddles than hugs!

Well, for me, cuddling just means lying next to someone and basking in their presence. Like when your whole friend group lays together to watch a phone or something. I'm like a cat in the sense that I feel more comfortable when I have a point of contact like knees or something.

On 8/30/2018 at 12:34 PM, squaggly said:

kissing if we are really close is good in small amounts. Other than that, I'd hate it.

I'm, personally, completely adverse to kissing. More than I thought, actually. 2 of my friends kissed for the first time and I started to have a panic attack(I don't get them chronically) so apparently I REALLY hate kisses.

[AroAnomaly]

I like being huggged and cuddled by all of my friends, but not my parents 

 

I enjoy being kissed (not lips that’s weird) but like kissed on the head or shoulder by my friends

but like if any of that begins to have romantic connotations for that friend it immediately becomes awkward 

[Blake]

Hugging only with people i know and I'm very comfortable. If im not comfortable, there will only be a salute by nodding my head. Only exception is in family meetings since everyone salutes by hugging, and well, little choice there if I want to avoid explaining my aversion to affection to people that simply won't underatand and say is just rude to no greet someone. 

I enjoy sometimes cuddling if it's with a close friend. The warmth isn't that bad, and usually is because we are seeing a movie, so we all know is just non-romantic.

Kissing is only good to salute my friends and in the cheek. I dislike make outs, french kisses and long kisses because i get bored. Swapping saliva is just icky for me, keep your tongue where it belongs please.

[frutiger aro]

i'm honestly pretty touch-averse in general.

[TripleA]

I like all of these things and I am touch starved I think but I'm demisensual so I don't want any affection with people I don't know too well or don't trust. It's important to know that I'm autistic and very touch averse because of it. All of these have no romantic intent for me, they're either platonic, sensual, alterous or sexual.

 

whilst I like kissing, french kissing still confuses me.

[sunny]

i'm very much in the boat of touch that's labeled "with who i want/ when i decide" and I feel that's ridiculously common. sometimes i go whole weeks without wanting to touch someone, and tasks of being hugged or brushed up against make me tense and uncomfortable- even if i know the person. at the same time, i often go without touch at all, not receiving for a few weeks only to be painfully aware of it. hugs are something i treasure, and things as simple as leaning up against someone can be so nice.

 

kisses are a bit more particular. i often vacillate between being okay with them and also, hating them. i oven get squicked out by (pardon) tongue-kisses, despite having tried to enjoy them.

 

cuddles- I wouldn't know. i haven't ever experienced it proper, but in the few instances i was huddled beside someone (not someone i trusted, but someone) i was uncomfortable. i ended up with a crick in my neck and my side burning from how i was stationed on the mattress. i think it's something i'll have to experience in time, or maybe it's just not for me and i can hold someone's hand to bed. who knows.

[Zephyr]

I've always been extremely touch averse, particularly with hugs, it just feels like a violation y'know? Especially since a lot of my friends are s u p e r touchy, sometimes they'll just hug me without warning and it's just a horrible experience. As for kisses, I've never really kissed anyone (maybe when I was like 5 but I don't remember that far back) but the idea makes me really anxious and uncomfortable, and while I like the concept of cuddling, I feel like it would just be really awkward and uncomfortable in practice.

[Krate.99]

I really only like touches i.e. hugging and cuddling with people I comfortable and familiar with like friends and family, and I know that I am adverse to kissing (despite never having done it) I've only had 1 relationship and I didn't do any of those things with him; I was just to uncomfortable with it.

[Adriano]

I could hug my friend without any problems Kiss never ever. Cuddling... I can't see a difference between hug and cuddle in english(it's not my own language). Can someone explain it?

[Momo]

1 hour ago, Adriano said:

I can't see a difference between hug and cuddle in english(it's not my own language).

 

A hug is a once-off thing that only takes a few seconds and is typically done standing up, though not always. A cuddle is longer, minutes or hours and is often done on some piece of furniture like a bed or couch and isn't necessarily face to face, it can be side to side as well.