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Aromantic Moments

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People complaining because their family-in-law is shitty.

Me : just find another reason why being aro is great.

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lmao my latest aro moment was when I was trying to write a scene for nanowrimo and I got stuck bc I Still haven't figured out what the relationship between two of my main characters is going to be. I kinda want it to be romantic but I have absolutely no idea how to write it convincingly bc it's never going to really convince me.

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In English class we were supposed to find synonyms for good and I found like twenty of them. The next day I wanted to present them and then my teacher started with "Well, it's not just a good kiss, it's an amazing kiss" and continued that way with all the words. Turns out, I didn't contribute to class that day.

 

In German class we were analyzing love songs -- which was totally annoying, but whatever -- and I just couldn't figure out what everybody else thought the lyrics meant. For me stuff like "possessing someone" sounded more like Stockholm syndrom or something similar, whilst for everybody else it was a clear declaration of love.

 

Another time in English class we were supposed to share the story of our first kiss. I said, that I once kissed a platonic friend to freak a homophobe out (I passed as female, she was female) (the homophobe actually ran away tho xD), but then my teacher just said that I was supposed to share the story of my first "real" kiss... Like,,, no,,,

 

Is it really a surprise at this point tho that I was the only one who didn't learn how to use a condom in class? I'm quite sure that my grade suffered because of that, but whatever.

 

Oh, and I once tried to write some romance. Yeah, I wrote a case of Stockholmm syndrom and the next time I wrote a QPR...

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Most recently on one of my papers, we had an assignment where we "dated ourselves" and took ourselves out on a date. food and an activity, right? i had fun, but I wrote in there that i wasn't a romantic person. and the paper was supposed to be analytical, so my grader put "why?" underneath it.

 

I ended up laughing because, golly, that's a page or two on itself. I often just say that I don't experience romantic attraction, instead of saying aromantic. It skips a step, but it was so weird that this was a... wildly unheard of phrase. my grader genuinely was confused by what i meant.

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On 11/25/2019 at 4:45 PM, Morgenfluss said:

In German class we were analyzing love songs -- which was totally annoying, but whatever -- and I just couldn't figure out what everybody else thought the lyrics meant. For me stuff like "possessing someone" sounded more like Stockholm syndrom or something similar, whilst for everybody else it was a clear declaration of love.

 

Haha, I always thought romance and monogamy were akin to slavery.

 

William Blake understood this well, when he was describing two kinds of love.

 

Spiritual love (agape):
Love seeketh not itself to please
Nor for itself hath any care
But for another gives its ease
And builds a heaven in hells despair


Possessive romantic love:
Love seeketh only self to please
To bind another to its delight
Joys in another's loss of ease
And builds a hell in heavens despite

 

So the problem is, humans know this and yet cannot help themselves out of this prison. (At least interpreting Blake in this way is my aromantic moment 😜 )

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On 11/25/2019 at 1:26 AM, Artemis's Aro said:

lmao my latest aro moment was when I was trying to write a scene for nanowrimo and I got stuck bc I Still haven't figured out what the relationship between two of my main characters is going to be. I kinda want it to be romantic but I have absolutely no idea how to write it convincingly bc it's never going to really convince me.

Oh I got you. I remember, before I know about aromanticism, when I was describing the first crush of my hero. During the whole scene I was thinking "but this doesn't happened in real life". Expect it apparently does  😂

Once, I also solved a love triangle with my character realizing that none of his love relationships was healthy and rejecting both girls.

 

But at the same time, I realized that the romance plot, I wrote is usually healthier than what allo do. Part because my characters are also friends with their love interests, and because I intellectualize it so much that I evacuate all the things I view as toxic. But I'm sure I have to use beta-readers for romance scenes if I want to publish something with it lol.

 

I hope your nano was a success.

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So, I've based a character on Twenty-One Pilots member Josh Dun (hard to explain). In this narrative, Josh is aromantic and asexual. His friend, Tyler Joseph, leaves to go on an LDS mission. Since Josh isn't LDS, he must stay behind. However, months before Tyler leaves on his mission, Josh and Tyler post an ad in a newspaper for someone to let Josh live with them. Josh meets the family with whom he'll live while Tyler is away. Shiva, a teenage female, is a member of this family. Apparently, Shiva falls into love (lust, really) with Josh upon seeing his identity in this newspaper. Shiva meets Josh in real life, and her heart is racing, because she wants to be sensual with him. Later, Josh visits her high school to spend the day. He meets some of Shiva's friends, who also develop crushes on Josh. I'll spare you all the details, but Shiva and her friends keep being "lovey dovey" and romantic around Josh. This makes Josh VERY uneasy. He always declines all their moves. 

 

Fast forward a few years, and Josh and Tyler are in college. Josh is glad to be away from Shiva and her friends, finally, because he thinks that such a situation won't happen at college. Boy, is he wrong. A hefty handful of girls start to flirt with and make moves on Josh until, ultimately, Josh hits a breaking point. He yells at all the girls who have a crush on him, saying that he feels uncomfortable with it, and that he just wants to be left alone. This leaves the girls in shock and confusion, never having seen Josh lash out like that. Josh then tells Tyler what transpired, and they set up a time to discuss it with a counselor.

 

During his appointment with the counselor, Josh doesn't hesitate to tell it like it is, passionately and angrily telling the counselor that he just wants people not to crush on him, etc. Then, Josh starts to cry in front of the counselor, because of the years of trauma built up inside of him from all the romantic, sensual, and sexual attraction directed at him. That night, Josh cries himself to sleep.

 

The next morning, Josh awakens refreshed, having figured out why all these girls have been crushing on him. An aspect of himself that he's been "showing" to the world is being mirrored back to him in the form of girls hitting on him. With that realization, Josh starts to find that girls aren't hitting on him as much. Even Shiva and her friends stop hitting on Josh (Josh visits Shiva and her friends later, and they apologize to Josh for their behavior around him). This makes him feel holy.

 

Fast forward a couple more years, and hardly anyone hits on Josh. Now, he can focus on his Earth mission, which is to help the environment by finding ways to recycle more. He does this through activating his 12D Christos Self, as he helps birth the new Earth he wants to see.

 

END

 

 

Now, I don't know about you, but this is what I call a romance story with a happily-ever-after!

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On 11/25/2019 at 4:45 PM, Morgenfluss said:

In German class we were analyzing love songs -- which was totally annoying, but whatever -- and I just couldn't figure out what everybody else thought the lyrics meant. For me stuff like "possessing someone" sounded more like Stockholm syndrom or something similar, whilst for everybody else it was a clear declaration of love.

I recently realized that I often misinterpret love songs I hear to be aromantic. For example with "You say" from Lauren Daigle I consistntly heard it as "You said I'm in love / while I can#t feel a thing" with the rest of the lyrics being in the past tense, transforming it into a song of an aromantic at the end of an unhealthy romantic relationship.

 

A similar thing happened with "A Moment like this". I never really listened to it closely and always heard the refrain as "some people wait a lifetime/for a moment/like me" (don't ask me how you can mishear me instead of this, I'll just say it wasn't that clear in the recording I heard). I always thought it was about the feelings of a cupioromantic who wants to fall in love and waits for it but is sad that it probably will never happen😂.

 

I guess you always hear what you want to hear.😀

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12 hours ago, Tagor said:

For example with "You say" from Lauren Daigle I consistntly heard it as "You said I'm in love / while I can#t feel a thing" with the rest of the lyrics being in the past tense, transforming it into a song of an aromantic at the end of an unhealthy romantic relationship.

Same! I wanted to share in th "aromantic songs" topic so I look closer to the lyrics, and I was disappointed.

The fact that I'm not a native English speaker, and that I have difficulty with oral comprehension, doesn't help me at all.

 

I also interpret romantic love songs as platonic love songs. I know they are not, but really I enjoy reading it this way.

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4 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I also interpret romantic love songs as platonic love songs. I know they are not, but really I enjoy reading it this way.

 

Back when I was religious I interpreted them as songs about love of God.

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On 12/3/2019 at 8:31 AM, nonmerci said:

Same! I wanted to share in th "aromantic songs" topic so I look closer to the lyrics, and I was disappointed.

The fact that I'm not a native English speaker, and that I have difficulty with oral comprehension, doesn't help me at all.

 

I also interpret romantic love songs as platonic love songs. I know they are not, but really I enjoy reading it this way.

I like to see how far along in a song that is romantic-coded I can pretend it can be about a relatively normative friendship.

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