Shipping

[NotHeartless]

Honestly, I always find it a bit creepy when people ship other people in real life.
Then again, I also find some fictional romantic ships disturbing and/or pointless so maybe that's just me.
I just enjoy two characters I like interacting with each other and having great chemistry.
They don't have to be a confirmed pair at all, I just need the sensation of "yeah, they [would] get along great".
(because of their history / development / matching personalities, etc. )
I'm more of a platonic shipper, even in fiction I struggle with romance.
When it comes to fanfiction I prefer to read smut over romance and aroace (no sexual or romantic (sub)plot) - both can be tough to find.
For example, there is rarely smut which doesn't end up in romance.
My own works are focused on these preferences too. I feel too weird when I try to write romance, it always feels artificial and I don't want to feel sick while proofreading my own stuff.

[mythlady]

I absolutely despise shipping people in real life. I think its a horrible invasion of privacy.

I wish I could stop shipping my OTP, unfortunately I don't want to leave the fandom just yet. Leaving a fandom for me means leaving any pairings I was shipping behind as well.

[Guest Xinah]

I like to ship my own characters when I'm writing, but it's never "a love at first sight" - I'm demiromantic, so that's probably why. Also no romance just to have romance, if you know what I mean. I H A T E real people shipping. Please don't. I know I would be really uncomfortable if someone shipped me with, for example, my friend. Ships in fandom are cool, I have a few "OTPs" and sometimes I enjoy reading ship fanfics, there has to be chemistry though. I also prefer canon ships. And as a sex-repulsed ace, I don't like lemons/smut.

[nonmerci]

On 6/29/2020 at 3:54 PM, Guest Xinah said:

I like to ship my own characters when I'm writing, but it's never "a love at first sight"

I remember when I describe the first crush of my character, not exactly "love at first sight" but he was indeed attracted to her at soon as he saw her. And it was si strange to write, the while time I was thinking "but that doesn't really happen in real life". Now that I know I'm aro, I understand why I feel this way about that scene. 

[Blake]

I usually ship in fiction when it is obvious that there is chemistry between the pair. (Ex. Dean-Castiel cuz it is just there the connection between both). I don't like real life shipping cuz I think that people are not toys to play with and thus making a ship between real people seems like playing. The only shipping I believe 100% is me with coffee tbh, other than that it is up to interpretation of the actions between the two or more inside the ship.

Before identifying as aro, I think I believed in Love at First Sight, even though it seemed weird. Now I do not believe that and kinda repulsed by the idea of it cuz I see it as unreal at best. People choose to fall in love, the do not fall in it, cuz the concept of falling is like a mistep, a mistake.

Lastly, my vision of otp and ships change when I finished watching on netflix sense 8, since the description made there (no spoilers) is what I would believe should happen.

[ObliviousPineapple]

I ship Dax and Kira from ds9, but that's it. 

[chairdesklamp]

Real life ugh why would you. Those are real people.

I don't even write fic for live action stuff (barring "there are live action versions of this but it was originally drawn in some form") 

As a result, I'm only in two fandoms. 

I have a massive project that has grown to cover both fandoms, separately while sharing lore and eventually merging. Excluding prequels, they merge 17 years into the story. There are no timeskips. What have I done help me. 

This is gonna be long, but I swear I have a point:

Anyway, the main character of one (both canon-wise and here) I ended up writing him greyro demisexual without realising it. He's literally slated to break up with his best friend because he loves him, but "he doesn't feel comfortable with" romantic stuff basically and best friend needs it, so they're incompatible (it's'97 in Japan. People know about trans stuff, he's living as male already because I made him trans male instead of cis male, but there's no words for this yet) he later becomes poly with that guy, but they have an understanding, and that guy's (trans) wife is the one he indulge in romance with. The main character's husband at this point, they're kind of likemega-best buds on the adventures of life, a problem solving team, they're always the first to validate each other, and making a giant family together (because the world demanding sterilisation to be valid sticks in my craw, so there) but they're not romantic at all, despite the main character's parents imaginations of them being allo, they're both greysexual and I'm still figuring out what romantic boundaries are, but they're definitely arospec, even though they don't have the words for a long time. (The reason they're greysexual is mostly meta for unplanned pregnancy, and making them cupiosexual was not something that occurred to me, even though if that's a word, it me, as the kids say) The closest to romantic they get is actually husband calming main character down because it's the 2008 housing crash and they lost their shirts. And one other later, reason would take too much words. But both are just... slow dancing to lite rock and the words "I love you." Then cut to others in the room and it's back to being a written sitcom. 

I wanted to share this here in detail because I've been nailing this out since I abandoned the old version (in my native, but this is in English), on Pixiv in *2011*. When I was still claiming bisexual. And had no idea what this meant, let alone I could be it. I only realised what any a-orientation meant *last year* Eight years after I started this. (Though I'm not demi anything, so it's not the same. I'm pretty sure no one exactly matches what I am) So I did this *completely subconsciously.*

One of the prequels I'm actually trying to write an allo (bi trans man+gay cis man) relationship starting, and I feel like that DJing dog meme. Even though we've all been deluged with allo romance portrayals. 

The point is, though, that while yes, I ship, I've realised I do it in pretty arospec ways. When I do try to write romance, it's like when you try drawing with foreshortening for the first time. You know it looks off but you don't know how or why. 

 

AND SOMEHOW NONE OF THIS CLUED ME IN. That's the real kicker. 

[Guest]

Shipping peoples in real life sound really invasive never mind their relationships, orientation etc.... Just because they are celebrities don't mean you can do everything you want. In fact, i know some cases in wich it made things really awkward for them. 

 

For fiction, i usually don't care, or sometime i got along with it if it's not too bad. I can even like it! 

I am not a fan of romance, understand. And if it take too much place or it's done in a way that annoy me i stop i guess? My only problem is romantised abuse, romantized jealousy and you know, incest, pedophilia, etc

Edited July 10, 2020 by Guest

[ScarfOfSexualPreference]

I love watching any kind of well thought out relationship thrive, whether it's with family, friends, or partners. 

I unfortunately can't write it, at least not without seeming forced or rushed, since I don't have the life experience of wholesome relationships to build off of

Most of my characters are lone wolves

[WilmaW]

I don't like it when people ship IRL people. DON'T DO THAT!!!

I also wish people would stop matching every single character up with someone romantically. I am also very aware that I do this as well pretty much.

I don't really know WHY I do it and it's not that I WANT to do this the whole frk time but my mind just goes "ohh those two would be cute and they're gaaaay" like the whole time... I guess it has a lot to do with how allonormative our society is, that my mind has learned that that's how it's "supposed" to be and then my mind tries to create that picture. I wish I instead could go "aww they could be in a qpr" but well... my mind doesn't agree. I hope I'll be able to stop shipping romantically more and more, but I'm not there yet.

BUT DON'T SHIP IRL PEOPLE!!!

[Iron_Maiden]

I ship fictional characters alot, although it's mainly a holdover from my teenage days back when I thought I was still allo. I don't do this with any new fandoms I get into, although I do it with old fandoms I've been a part of for a while.

[Queasy_Attention]

Realizing I was aro changed the way I viewed relationships in media. I realized that what I really liked about those relationships was the specific attractions I related to- platonic and sexual attractions, specifically. I really like it when two people have an interesting relationship in which their friendship is unique and unexpected, or unlikely yet enduring. I like stories where their physical attraction is unexpected or forbidden, so gay romance really hits with me, particularly historical gay romance. 

I also like the friends-to-lovers trope, because I think my self-insert fantasy is to just have a really good friend with physical attraction/affection/intimacy added into the mix.

I used to ship a lot. Now that I actually know what it is that I like, it takes a little more to get me invested than just a few spare glances. I haven't shipped anything new in a while, but I have a handful of old ships and saved fics that I keep in a back filing cabinet in case I need a pick-me-up. Most of them are for books, TV, or movies, but I do have one old lil' RPF ship that's stuck around with me through the years. They have such a cute dynamic ❤️ 

But now I've mostly been reading original books instead of fanfic. There's a lot of good trashy romance if you know where to look for it, and I've found a few really good ones. It's funny to see which authors know how to write good chemistry and which authors paint by the numbers, lol. I'm not saying original fiction is any better or worse-- and in fact, a couple of books are much worse than some of the stuff I've read on AO3-- but I think I just got tired of having to interpret my own queer reading onto obviously straight media. I like reading books written about queer people for queer people, and I find it more rewarding when the canon text has the guys or the girls get together in the end.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Queasy_Attention

[Rolo]

If I get really into a book then chances are I will end up shipping some of the characters. I'm no writer but I read a fair amount of shippy fanfiction, it's hard when I end up shipping rare pairings or unpopular fandoms though. 

But yeah, I don't get shipping real people... how does that even work? People you know IRL are too complete as people for that to work in my head. I suppose celebrities are distant and unknown enough for some people to project onto them, but they're so boring!

[eatingcroutons]

On 3/19/2019 at 3:38 AM, mythlady said:

I absolutely despise shipping people in real life. I think its a horrible invasion of privacy.

Things that are invasive: Sending or showing any sort of explicit sexual or romantic material to a person who hasn't consented to receive or view it. Stalking or harassing people for any reason whatsoever.

Things that are not invasive: Fantasising about other people, or relationships between other people. Sharing those fantasies in spaces that exist to share fictional fantasies and are clearly marked as such.

[SkyTuneRein]

I don't really get shipping. If it makes one happy then live and let live, just don't include me.

[--------]

Reading and creating fanfiction give me some distraction and stress release. I had a problem with writing romance fanfiction because everything I did was awkward and I didn't feel comfortable writing it (so most of my fanfiction had some  romantic relationship on background or just none). As a fanfiction reader I'm basically "came for a pairing, stayed for plot" because even if characters are to ooc (out-of-character) but I wonder what will happen next, I'll continue reading. I don't mind reading really trashy fanfictions out of curiosity and to be honest, they sometimes give more emotions. Now with aromantic culture I found out about other types of relationships and it gives me completely different picture of shipping options. 

About shipping real people. I have some celebrities that I like seeing together, not in romantic relationship but just doing some interactions or being dorks together. 

The thing I definitely don't tolerate is when some shippers bully others because in their opinion these characters can be only with each other. 

[Neon]

I don't ship any characters I even slightly relate to, but I can ship characters that I have no connection too. For example, when I watched the office, I hated all the character pairings except Dwight and Angela, who I can't connect with for the life of me. As far as I know, thats the only ship I've actually liked. Normally I vary between having to stop reading/watching(disgust), boredom, or frustration that the author ruined a perfectly good friendship to make money(I swear thats most romances in YA fiction).

Real life people is absolutly not. If a friend is in a relationship I don't get invested and try to make sure its healthy.

[Queasy_Attention]

10 hours ago, Neon Green Packing Peanut said:

As far as I know, thats the only ship I've actually liked

I feel the same! Not specifically with the Office, but with other relationships in TV/movies too. For Dwight and Angela I think it's because their personalities and their platonic relationship is actually interesting and well written. They fall into the Michael Schur "background relationship" category, of the two minor characters with really wacky personalities somehow fitting together. In the Office it's Dwight and Angela (and Kelly and Ryan), in Parks & Rec it's April and Andy (and Chris and Ann), in B99 it's a few different relationships (Gina and Boyle, Holt and Kevin, Rosa and Pimento), and in The Good Place it's the whole Jason/Tahani/Janet trio. They're all engaging to me because they're based more around their actual personalities and them finding a friend/kindred spirit rather than just specifically romance, like a lot of the main pairings. 

[Tylore]

Honestly, I think my original fascination with shipper culture is how complex you could make a single dynamic between two people be. There’s so many different factors, like shared interests, who listens more, inside jokes, shared experiences, how comfortable they are with eachother/others in certain contexts, etc.; I just find it so interesting. Now it’s more of a “wow, you can really ship anyone huh?”

On 7/10/2020 at 4:53 AM, chairdesklamp said:

Anyway, the main character of one (both canon-wise and here) I ended up writing him greyro demisexual without realising it. He's literally slated to break up with his best friend because he loves him, but "he doesn't feel comfortable with" romantic stuff basically and best friend needs it, so they're incompatible (it's'97 in Japan. People know about trans stuff, he's living as male already because I made him trans male instead of cis male, but there's no words for this yet) he later becomes poly with that guy, but they have an understanding, and that guy's (trans) wife is the one he indulge in romance with. The main character's husband at this point, they're kind of likemega-best buds on the adventures of life, a problem solving team, they're always the first to validate each other, and making a giant family together (because the world demanding sterilisation to be valid sticks in my craw, so there) but they're not romantic at all, despite the main character's parents imaginations of them being allo, they're both greysexual and I'm still figuring out what romantic boundaries are, but they're definitely arospec, even though they don't have the words for a long time. (The reason they're greysexual is mostly meta for unplanned pregnancy, and making them cupiosexual was not something that occurred to me, even though if that's a word, it me, as the kids say) The closest to romantic they get is actually husband calming main character down because it's the 2008 housing crash and they lost their shirts. And one other later, reason would take too much words. But both are just... slow dancing to lite rock and the words "I love you." Then cut to others in the room and it's back to being a written sitcom. 

I wanted to share this here in detail because I've been nailing this out since I abandoned the old version (in my native, but this is in English), on Pixiv in *2011*.

OMG THIS SOUNDS SO COOL!?!?!>!@!!@!!!! Are you planning on trying to publish this, please I’m begging, it sounds so cool!

[Nagito]

Well, I’m into real person slash but I’m not obsessive with it. I like making ships but I’m leaving it on fanfiction level. For example, I’m really impressed by friendship of Gabriel Barbosa and Bruno Henrique, I love seeing them happy with their companionship and yeah, I ship them but as I said, I’m leaving my shipper side in things I’m writting. When I’ve seen a post of Gabi telling about their friendship and ending it the description with ’I love you’ I was like: ’aww, they’re so close and aren’t hidding it, I’d love to have a friend like they’are having each other’.

[Collie]

I have a few ships. One or two that I'm really into. But typically, I don't ship and even am surprised when a relationship develops in the actual series in many cases. ? (Even if it's a romance series!!) But sometimes if it's obvious that two characters are being set up, I will ship them a little bit just cause. But overall, shipping isn't really on my mind too much when I watch things. Also, I hate most romance in Western shows--anime does it better.

[IM A GENERAL WHEEEEEEE]

I quite enjoy shipping fictional characters, but definitely not real people!

Some main ships I like are Lams (John Laurens & Alexander Hamilton from the Hamilton musical, although, technically, they are/were real, so Hamilton ships are my only exception), Jeffmads (Jefferson & Madison from the Hamilton musical, which I hc as queerplatonic), Bruise (Jay & Cole from Ninjago, which I hc as queerplatonic), Illumi & Hisoka (idk their ship name, but I also hc them as queerplatonic), and Opposite (Kai & Zane from Ninjago, which I hc as romantic)

[cyancat]

as someone who obsesses unwillingly over ships, that someone may ship real life people doesn’t bother me in itself since i think people tend to be ship personas. i don’t think it’s right to invasively push your shipping agenda onto real people, and it may feel a bit uncomfortable that people would put that out for the shipped persons involved to find, which is all fair, but i don’t think it’s right to judge a person just because they do have real life ships.

anyway, that’s all to say i don’t actually ship real life people myself and i’d feel really weird if i did. that being said, i don’t think that’s happening any time soon because i’ve been obsessing over this one ship for a while now and i can’t get out. i sound really dramatic but quite frankly i’m honestly sick of these characters. like, i love them they’re lots of fun, but i want to move on to other ships (platonic & romantic) but i literally cannot. i always go back to my OTP and it kinda sucks alskdksla

brain really said marry ur OTP and suffer in the fact that you wanna be is free

uhh, in terms of shipping preferences, mine tend to be all romantic? when i think about things in terms of fantasy, i tend to choose romance and roses and all that jazz. that’s all ignoring the fact that my favorite parts of things tend to be the least explicitly romantic bits so. uh. but i’ve idealized romance to the point that i do actively choose it over queerplatonic even tho in terms of actual dynamics, i end up preferring the less romantic bits alskfksla. 

Edited November 30, 2020 by cyancat

[SilentShadows]

Very interesting takes here, I love seeing all the varied replies!

Personally, I am on the more romance-repulsed side of things, so real life shipping makes me grimace a bit. I've always found it to be a bit strange, as I would never want romance pushed onto me, so when creators/actors get it pushed onto them, I feel bad for them. Of course, if they don't mind, I suppose it isn't the worst, but if they explicitly say it makes them uncomfortable... yuck. Consent, people, consent! 

In fiction... it depends. Ultimately I tend to go towards QPP, friends with benefits, or other non-romantic options. Someone earlier said they tended to register romance or sappy stuff as bad writing cause they don't feel romantic attraction themselves, and that really resonated with me. I tend to find romance often feels fake or cheesy, even if it isn't. I just don't understand romantic attraction, or how it could be a "thing," per say. Slow burns that are actually slow burn (when I see slow burn, I expect slow... years of development, not months) intrigue me, since there's more time for development. Promising your life to someone you don't know and saying I love you to a near stranger you've known for a couple of weeks is... odd, very odd, in my eyes. I don't "get" infatuation or why you'd say such a strong word to someone you barely know. I suppose it's because that sort of "love" isn't the same as say, a long-running love for a friend or love for your family. It's more infatuation, I would guess... and I say guess because I myself don't experience romantic attraction.

So most ships disappoint me. Even say... sexual ships, when they occur, can be a bit boring. Though I do have uncommon tastes in character dynamics and I expect a bit more plot, which is likely my downfall, haha. When there's a very good character dynamic in fan-writing or canon, even, I am occasionally intrigued. Some ships actually do make me say "Awww, how cute!" when I see them. Most of the time after they get into a relationship, however, I get incredibly bored... I suspect it's because I'm not interested in the romance, only the character dynamics together. My favorite "ships" are QPP or life partners... essentially anything with a partnership minus romance. Alterous relationships are lovely, too. I adore relationships and character interaction, just... not romantic ones, usually. 

[GhostyPeppers]

On 8/11/2020 at 12:58 AM, Queasy_Attention said:

Realizing I was aro changed the way I viewed relationships in media. I realized that what I really liked about those relationships was the specific attractions I related to- platonic and sexual attractions, specifically. I really like it when two people have an interesting relationship in which their friendship is unique and unexpected, or unlikely yet enduring. I like stories where their physical attraction is unexpected or forbidden, so gay romance really hits with me, particularly historical gay romance. 

I also like the friends-to-lovers trope, because I think my self-insert fantasy is to just have a really good friend with physical attraction/affection/intimacy added into the mix.

I used to ship a lot. Now that I actually know what it is that I like, it takes a little more to get me invested than just a few spare glances. I haven't shipped anything new in a while, but I have a handful of old ships and saved fics that I keep in a back filing cabinet in case I need a pick-me-up. Most of them are for books, TV, or movies, but I do have one old lil' RPF ship that's stuck around with me through the years. They have such a cute dynamic ❤️ 

But now I've mostly been reading original books instead of fanfic. There's a lot of good trashy romance if you know where to look for it, and I've found a few really good ones. It's funny to see which authors know how to write good chemistry and which authors paint by the numbers, lol. I'm not saying original fiction is any better or worse-- and in fact, a couple of books are much worse than some of the stuff I've read on AO3-- but I think I just got tired of having to interpret my own queer reading onto obviously straight media. I like reading books written about queer people for queer people, and I find it more rewarding when the canon text has the guys or the girls get together in the end.

I still ship every once in a while, but I think you describe my relationship to it perfectly. I've been thinking about this for a while when I discovered I was aro back in July. I find myself more invested in the character dynamic and relationship development than the relationship itself. I do like to look at "romance coded" things, but in a vacuum, and shipping happens to be my vacuum of choice.

I mainly ship my own characters now since I have more control over their dynamic, but I'll occasionally see two characters and go "haha they're boyfriends" just because.

And I do occasionally think of them in s*xual situations. Thats a lie, I think I do more than "romantic" forms of affection.

 

edit: ALSO real life shipping is usually a huge no-no unless the two people in question are actually dating, but even then I wouldn't call that "shipping", more like just finding a couple cute.

Edited December 29, 2020 by GhostyPeppers
Forgot something