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RedNeko

How are You a 'Bad' Aromantic Spectrum Person?

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- I have a mental disorder and sometimes it's hard to define what is my aromanticism and what instead stems from my disorder

- I'm the aro stereotype of cold, with problems expressing emotions, and very few friends

- I'm into shipping and I greatly enjoy it

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I'm cupioromantic which means even though I can never feel romantic attraction because I am aromantic, I still really really want a romantic relationship and I love romance a little too much.

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I'm a bad aro because I feel like I'm a bad ace because I'm aro :rofl:

 

Theoretically I know that friendship has to be very important in my life, but somehow I don't really do anything about it, so sooner or later I'll be all alone and I don't even know whether or not that's the right way of living for me

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10 hours ago, November said:

I'm a bad aro because I feel like I'm a bad ace because I'm aro :rofl:

I relate so much.

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I identify as fully aromantic and heterosexual (heteroflexible maybe?), but...

  • I've been in a (kinda) romantic relationship (monogamous, physical and emotional intimacy)
  • I've said "I love you" unironically to this person
  • I was very much invested in said relationship, and even though it didn't end well, I enjoyed it while it was good and do not regret it
  • I have grown to enjoy many romantic encoded things, e.g.
    • Dating and flirting
    • Cuddling/hugging, hand holding, and bed sharing (outside of sex)
    • Emotional intimacy and support with sexual partners/fwbs 

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How am I being a 'bad' (possibly) aro person? 2 ways:

  • I got burned the one time I actually tried dating a guy, and my parents' marriage isn't healthy, so I might have just developed a negative view of romantic relationships from personal experience
  • I still have ships I consume fanworks of, particularly the one I haven't managed to let go of with all the in-universe problems
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I'm actually very good at seeing romantic subplots in movies (although I hate them with a passion)

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  • I can't tell if my previous crushes were actually crushes or if it was just me trying to conform to what everyone expected of me. By "everyone," I mean society and my friends/family.
  • I've kissed two people in my life. The first person had told me about their previous relationships, which made me too uncomfortable. The second person was way too sensual in our purely romantic relationship, and that made me too uncomfortable, too.
  • I keep thinking of marriage as entirely romantic, even though I know it doesn't necessarily have to be romantic.
  • I'm an older autistic teenager.
  • I'm romance-repulsed, but I expect this to be a phase, considering that it happened after I broke up with the first person I actually dated.
  • I keep feeling like I'm broken.
  • I feel unsatisfied with my life, even though I have everything I need, except for my first job. (Everyone keeps sending me mixed messages on the job part! It's so annoying!)
  • I don't mind romance between two fictional characters, in most cases.
  • I strongly dislike cuddles, especially after I broke up my first relationship.
  • I don't know if I understood romance, or if I just pretended to. I never really gave it that much thought.

...that's all I can come up with right now.

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